D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Understanding Sexual Response

That is the title of my talk last Saturday for the youth of Alliance Gospel church. I was invited to speak before this young people and educated them on how important it is to live pure and holy and to abstain from sex whenever they feel like doing it.

One of their board members was used to be my audience or participant on previous COH workshop I have conducted and she recommended me to be the speaker for this love month fellowship on their church for young people.

I surmise they have learned a lot and they were blessed when I told them my life story. My life has something to do with purity and abstinence that is why I felt that it was only right to share it to these young people to make it real and made them realize that consequences for sexual immorality such as unwanted pregnancies, STIs and HIV is really happening!

I praise God for his anointing and I am giving back to Almighty Father all the honor and glory for using me on his works on this earth. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ! Thank you Father God! You're truly the best and simply amazing!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Celibate for 11!

Dear readers, I am so happy to post here that last February 19 was the 11 month since I have decided to celibate! Very clearly, it is the Lord Almighty and not me who are doing it.

Many people who are aware of this find it difficult and impossible! Well, if they only knew that things such as this can be accomplished only by God's Spirit then they do not have to find it hard to believe. Some people think that my life is so lonely and hard but I do not think so.

In fact, I am quite very happy that I am victorious with God's grace on my struggle. I was able to stop for weeks now the dirty chatting and it's great that I do not feel like doing it again.

God is truly on the business of changing people's lives including mine if you would only entrust it to Him. Thank you God.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A True Friend

Last Thursday, a good girl friend of mine back to my call center days agreed to see me and we spent sometime together in one of the malls in Ortigas. She's one of the first few persons whom I have disclosed my HIV status and stood beside me during those dreadful days of my life.

We have not seen each other for more than a year but we are constantly communicating via SMS and email.

She practically knew almost everything about me except my struggle with same sex attraction or SSA. I have a feeling that she can sense it somehow it's just that she opted not to discuss it with me when we're still working together. Since she's a good friend, I have decided to confess about my homosexuality and I am glad that she did not change on the way she treats me!

I told her everything about what I do now and how the Lord has changed me and using me according to His will and purpose. She's very happy for me and we realized how we missed each other!

Praise God for the blessing of good friends like her. She's really a true friend!

Friday, February 13, 2009

My Latest CD4

Praise the Lord! Hello readers!

The result of my last CD4 count test was released yesterday. Albeit my doctor told me that it was perfectly alright, honestly I can't help but to feel a little sad because from 469 T-helper cells more than a little six months ago it plummeted to 443!

The doctor said that as long as it will not go down beyond 30% from the last count it can be considered normal for it fluctuates sometimes. What matters most is I do not have any opportunistic infections and I am not sick of anything! In fact, I am feeling strong and healthy and gradually rekindling the fire in my heart for the Lord Jesus Christ!

Thank God because an angel paid for my Viral Load test. It costs 6,000PHP and I do not have a budget for that. This is another testimony of God's faithfulness to His children! Thank you my Heavenly Father! Thank you Dad! This test will determine the quantity of virus in my bloodstream or the ARV I am taking for one year and seven months now is really working. Also it will verify the result of my CD4 count.

I pray that the result which will be released sometime next week is "undetected" or very very low viral load or viral copies per milliliter of blood, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

COH Palawan

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ! I am happy to post about the "Channels of Hope: HIV & AIDS" workshop that we conducted in Puerto Princesa, Palawan last January 27 & 28.

This time I lead the facilitation of the whole activity and thank God it turned out well. We finished everything on time and once again, the participants were all blessed with what God has done into my life and with everything they have learned. As a matter of fact, they are craving for more and planning to have a second part! Praise the Lord for its success!

I was able to see the tourist spots within and outskirt of the city such as Iwahig Prison and Penal farm, Bakers Hill, Mitra's house and ranch, the Baywalk and the North Hunda Bay. Thank you to my cousin who lives there.

By the way, I've been feeling a spiritual "dryness" lately. My heart does not have the same fire like I used to have when I am still new Christian. Before, I am always excited to attend the Sunday service and to be involved with church activities but now I have to drag myself. I am beginning to engage again on dirty chatting, internet pornography and mall cruising. I know this is wrong and I should not be doing these things that's why my prayer to God is to be patient with me as I struggle to break free of my idols of addiction and admit my secret desires to my counselors.

Last Sunday, I did confess them and asked what is going on with me. They said that there are really season like this and this is the time that I need to attend more the service and be with my fellow Christians. It is just normal. I still do not have a place to stay in Manila and I do not have a job right now that's why I prefer to stay here in the province with my family.

The Lord gave me a word for all of these, the whole Romans 6 and Philippians 2:13: for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.

Monday, February 2, 2009

God's Words For Me

As I seek directions from God three prophetic words has been given to me by three different people from our church.

The first one was given to me by our senior pastor and he said that the Lord will put me in the fifth gear or top gear this year in relation to my growth as a Christian. If I thought that I have come a little far, it was just the beginning for God has so much in stores for me. This was given on the first Sunday of this year.

The second one was given to me three Sundays ago by another pastor and he said that this year will be a defining year for me. God said that my relationship with my father will be restored and I will be a major target of the attack of the enemy for the huge things I am doing for God's kingdom. I think this is because of the ministry on HIV & AIDS I am currently doing and the bigger plans I have for this to our church and to the positive community. I guess I have to watch and pray so I will not fall into temptations. The spirit is willing but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41.

Last Sunday, I received this word from one of my counselor and ate and she is also a pastor in our church. She said according to God, I will be a father either spiritually or physically. I will be speaking the truth in love for I understand the things happening on in the lives of young people today. I believe this has something to do with my struggles in life that young people can learn from.

I received and claimed all these words in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. These are encouraging words but they depend on how I will live my so called Christian life. I know I have to clean up my act and free myself from any form of activities and thoughts and habits which are not pleasing to the Lord in order to fulfill God's will.