“There is a house, empty, unfurnished that is
gradually filled with nice furniture’s until it becomes fully furnished and
turned beautifully. It could be real house or you as God’s dwelling place. And
there is more to your testimony that God will let you discover.”
These
are the words I have received prophetically last July 22 during our men’s prayer
night in the church. Aside from this, nothing much is going on with my life as a student and full time God's servant although lately I have been struggling a bit more intense with my SSA related
issues.
In
general, I still believe that I am victorious for I know in my heart that I am
and will always be a child of God pursuing relentlessly the life and destiny
that the Lord has set for me in the midst of occasional failures (or much appropriate
to call it sins) especially in the area of my SSA struggles. Again, I am not
saying this like I am proud or something like that but to put a reality of
following this calling of the Lord. Honestly, it is pretty obvious that it is
very difficult and sometimes frustrating. You will always find yourself in a
tug of war within yourself only to fall sometimes.
Long
time ago I already made a decision that no matter what happens, I will stay in
this journey whatever it takes and never let go. The struggles and hardships
especially denying (and dying) to oneself cannot outweigh the peace, hope, joy
and love in and of Jesus each day. By His grace and my faith, life has more
excitement than frustrations, more real joy than just mere happiness or
sadness, more adventure than boring, more victory than defeat, and most
importantly…life has more meaning, knowing who you are in God in spite of
unworthiness and trying to live the life that God has called you for. This
might sound crazy for some but that is all right. I guess, it is just okay and
more fun to be crazy with the Lord Jesus in this life.
Hopefully,
this will negate the perception that once you are a Christian, you are
perfectly okay and not sinning. Unfortunately that is not true especially for
someone like who is slowly but definitely coming out of addiction. But what the
truth is…a Christian sin less…thank God for the work of the Holy Spirit, for
His endless mercy, stubborn love and amazing grace!
Lastly,
please do pray for me as I do my thesis and final papers. I am on my last few
months of my masters, hoping and praying to finish by March 2015 with flying
colors! Also please kindly include financial provisions for it seems God does
not want me to work but to focus only with my studies and depend fully on Him
financially by faith. To all of my followers and readers, thank you very much
and may the Lord’s love, peace and grace be upon you always.
