Correcting Our Image Of Self
Our own image is quite imperative to the change that we want to achieve; it is definitely included in the process. Now that we knew how valuable we are to God and how we should look and feel for other people, it's time to hold a correct image of ourselves coz it is somehow intertwined with the two. Only when we love God, submit ourselves to Him, share His love to others can we feel right about ourselves. Again, I don't want to sound or read preachy and religious but the spiritual component cannot be overlooked for it is primary consideration. Most of us, if not all of us believe in God so might as well dig into it much deeper for it is the only source of true miracle.
Whether you believe it or not, low self-image or self-esteem is what you have as a homosexual person. Well, that's according to the book and it made me realize that it is true. That is the result of the rejections, ridicule and isolation we often received as we grow up. Most gays tend to cover up this low self-esteem once he have found a group that would accept him and most of the time it is with the homosexual lifestyle.
Significance and security are the two things needed for a good self-image. Significance means that we have worth with what we are and what we do have value. Gays find value or worth with the people with the same sexual orientation though it usually won't last for a long time. Other gays support gay rights causes to justify their identity to be significant. Security can be found in being accomplished in some skill, or simply collecting friends and people that will bring them both value and security. The reality is that, it is not easy to find these things in a gay lifestyle. Usually, you tend to compensate the loss of a secure friendship or relationship with material things. There may be amassing possessions like gadgets, clothing or just wealth in general to silence the deep insecurity or low esteem inside. Others exude arrogance, proud and aggressive attitude to mask low self-esteem. But I guess the worst is when you allow others to determine your self-worth. Gays build up this protection wall to conceal the insecurity that lies within. If you continue to do this for a long time, the consequences will always be failure, depression, and isolation.
I had suffered this consequences after living a homosexual lifestyle for six years, and some of you might still continue to do the same thing coz probably you're still enjoying it. Whether you admit or not, the truth that you feel these things within you whenever you are alone is undeniably there. You just chose not to confront it and simply ignore it, but it will keep hunting you down believe me.
Not because I got infected with HIV, I have decided to stop homosexual activities. In fact it took me more than a year before I have come to that decision. Because of the series of failures I've got, if you have read all my previous postings, depression and isolation; I have started to look for the meaning and purpose of my life because this is not the kind of life I have dreamt of.
In my quest for the true meaning of life, I have found Jesus Christ through my Christian doctor. These failures that I have has directed me towards Him coz Jesus loves failures. It took me these failures to end my self-rule and has become the launching pad of my new overcoming life. Jesus Christ has raised my self-esteem; He's the only one who can clear up the picture we hold of ourselves. I did not have decided to stop doing homosexual stuffs; it just happened when I have accepted God's forgiveness and accepted Him as my personal Lord and Savior. Again I must confess, it's not easy to leave the kind of life I used to live but I am aware that from the start it was wrong and I just have chosen to get into it when I thought it was alright. Unfortunately, that choice led me to devastation, emptiness and depression. Now that I am in the process of change, I always seek Him for guidance and direction especially when temptations are just right there. Temptations are always there and it will never go but as long as I chose to walk away from them I know I'll be safe, it's not easy but God is there to protect me.
Our self worth must come from the value that God has placed on us. It is God's love and the knowledge of this love that will give us a sense of worth and value. After we have come into a right relationship with God, He will use the people of His Body which is the church as His instrument of love, bringing affirmation that we're longing for and healing. Romans 8:31 says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Homosexuality Part 9
Correcting Our Image Of Others
Now if you're convinced that God has an unconditional love for all of us and always ready to forgive all our wrong doings no matter how big or small it is, the next step is for us to hold a correct image of other people.
There must be an admission that our images of other people have been incorrect, warped and twisted by this world and we should put it in a correct perspective. As homosexuals, we must realize that we have selfishly used others for our own gratifications most especially with our own sexual needs. Back in my previous posts, I have tackled that homosexuality has been developed at a very early age and so as with the way we see other people around us. We had image of others distorted by both parental and peer influence and later on the gay lifestyle as well. The way our parents brought us or the way we have witnessed the family relationships has an influence on how we think about ourselves as well as others. For instance, if an emotionally or physically absent father had been in his rightful place, the mother's influence would have been counterbalanced and an unhealthy dependence on mother would not have developed. The parental or family influence on us would be altered much by the peer influence past puberty; for both good and bad, it is a normal part of growing up. Homosexual people usually have had little peer interaction during this stage and have missed much of the crossroads experience with the same sex and opposite sex peer group. Because of this, he will retain many of his parents attitudes and expectations though it wanes when he step out into the real world. When a gay person is already in college or working, this is the point when the gay lifestyle influenced him much of his behavior and the way he thinks and thinks about others.
Having said that, if you have decided to change and be normal expects that there is not going to be any overnight change. Change is a long process and is going to come slowly, I don't want to sound very religious on the postings I make but it's the truth; change will indeed take place through the power of the Holy Spirit or through Jesus Christ. I strongly believed that every person homosexuals or not, always call God when he has a problem or whenever he's down and helpless. So why don't we seek Him sincerely to make the change possible and doable?
To correct our image of other people, we need to forgive all those who have negative influences on our lives including the person who molested us or our emotionally absent fathers or people whom we thought made us gay. It is true that they did greatly affect our life but this does not release us from our responsibility. I know it's hard to forgive but it's possible with God. We can't change our emotions but surprisingly God can. I must admit I used to be emotionally hard on people who have grieved me but I realized that it's a better feeling when you're not carrying any heavy emotions in your heart, suffice to say it's kind of a rewarding.
God has said that He considers His people to be precious jewels and priceless treasures, and so must we. We must hold this view even when others are imperfect and do hurtful things to us. Others are not to be objects of our lust or simply a sex object that will gratifies our sexual need. Again, I know this is difficult but with the Lord it is doable and it will take time before we totally eradicate this kind of feelings to same sex or others.
The second commandment stated that "Love your neighbor as yourself." Neighbor here refers to people around us and we are told to love them as we love ourselves. We must see people through God's eyes that they are all our brothers and sisters in Christ. God loved us before we came to Him and He loves others in the same way. In the bible 1 Corinthians 13, we are told that love is not self-seeking and does not keep records of the wrongs of others and rejoices in truth.
A friend of mine's comment on my postings here is that, it was preachy. As much as I don't want to read or sound like one, it's hard coz I am just speaking or writing about my own experience and what I have learned from Worthen's book. I must confess it's difficult and I am still in the process of the change, that's why I always read the important points of this book and pray very hard. I always pray to God that He change my views on men especially to those who are physically gifted coz I don't want to fall again for it feels very horrendous after.
Remember that Jesus Christ said that, "What you did to others you also did it to me." This thought is sometimes enough for me to keep myself from falling into sexually attractive men.
Now if you're convinced that God has an unconditional love for all of us and always ready to forgive all our wrong doings no matter how big or small it is, the next step is for us to hold a correct image of other people.
There must be an admission that our images of other people have been incorrect, warped and twisted by this world and we should put it in a correct perspective. As homosexuals, we must realize that we have selfishly used others for our own gratifications most especially with our own sexual needs. Back in my previous posts, I have tackled that homosexuality has been developed at a very early age and so as with the way we see other people around us. We had image of others distorted by both parental and peer influence and later on the gay lifestyle as well. The way our parents brought us or the way we have witnessed the family relationships has an influence on how we think about ourselves as well as others. For instance, if an emotionally or physically absent father had been in his rightful place, the mother's influence would have been counterbalanced and an unhealthy dependence on mother would not have developed. The parental or family influence on us would be altered much by the peer influence past puberty; for both good and bad, it is a normal part of growing up. Homosexual people usually have had little peer interaction during this stage and have missed much of the crossroads experience with the same sex and opposite sex peer group. Because of this, he will retain many of his parents attitudes and expectations though it wanes when he step out into the real world. When a gay person is already in college or working, this is the point when the gay lifestyle influenced him much of his behavior and the way he thinks and thinks about others.
Having said that, if you have decided to change and be normal expects that there is not going to be any overnight change. Change is a long process and is going to come slowly, I don't want to sound very religious on the postings I make but it's the truth; change will indeed take place through the power of the Holy Spirit or through Jesus Christ. I strongly believed that every person homosexuals or not, always call God when he has a problem or whenever he's down and helpless. So why don't we seek Him sincerely to make the change possible and doable?
To correct our image of other people, we need to forgive all those who have negative influences on our lives including the person who molested us or our emotionally absent fathers or people whom we thought made us gay. It is true that they did greatly affect our life but this does not release us from our responsibility. I know it's hard to forgive but it's possible with God. We can't change our emotions but surprisingly God can. I must admit I used to be emotionally hard on people who have grieved me but I realized that it's a better feeling when you're not carrying any heavy emotions in your heart, suffice to say it's kind of a rewarding.
God has said that He considers His people to be precious jewels and priceless treasures, and so must we. We must hold this view even when others are imperfect and do hurtful things to us. Others are not to be objects of our lust or simply a sex object that will gratifies our sexual need. Again, I know this is difficult but with the Lord it is doable and it will take time before we totally eradicate this kind of feelings to same sex or others.
The second commandment stated that "Love your neighbor as yourself." Neighbor here refers to people around us and we are told to love them as we love ourselves. We must see people through God's eyes that they are all our brothers and sisters in Christ. God loved us before we came to Him and He loves others in the same way. In the bible 1 Corinthians 13, we are told that love is not self-seeking and does not keep records of the wrongs of others and rejoices in truth.
A friend of mine's comment on my postings here is that, it was preachy. As much as I don't want to read or sound like one, it's hard coz I am just speaking or writing about my own experience and what I have learned from Worthen's book. I must confess it's difficult and I am still in the process of the change, that's why I always read the important points of this book and pray very hard. I always pray to God that He change my views on men especially to those who are physically gifted coz I don't want to fall again for it feels very horrendous after.
Remember that Jesus Christ said that, "What you did to others you also did it to me." This thought is sometimes enough for me to keep myself from falling into sexually attractive men.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Homosexuality Part 8
Correcting Our Image Of God
At first, I have no idea what does the author meant by correcting God's image. All I know is that God is the creator of heaven and earth and everything in there including us human, that He is super powerful and nothing is impossible to Him. What Frank meant is that, aside from those facts I mentioned; God has certain qualities which we're not aware of. Qualities that we need to know in order for us to have an intimae relationship with Him and to make the change we want in our life possible.
Without a doubt, much of the world has a corrupted image of God and it is essential to have that image be corrected especially for homosexuals. Back to my previous posts, I have mentioned that homosexuality is not born with us as we originally thought; well that's according to Frank and I believe him. Again, homosexuality rooted from our early childhood and usually caused by emotionally absent father like in my case, growing up fatherless, molestation and other past circumstances that have affected our original sexuality. Ergo, it's not right to blame God that He created us to be gay. In my experience it was my choice to indulge to this kind of lifestyle and self identification and I am pretty sure it's your choice too. We all know that God has created man and woman and no one in between and that is the truth so we need to live with that reality.
We also need to consider that the world we are all living in right now is not the kind of world God has originally intended to create. It became distorted since the time when Eve and Adam disobeyed God and it was the start of all evilness up to present. Why? Have you realized that all the problems we encounter everyday and every evil thing in this world comes from the wrong choices? So as with Adam and Eve and so are we. So it's our choice not to obey God's word, to do everything in our own way, to become homosexual, and now if we want to change; it's also our choice to correct everything that went wrong.
There are lots of God's qualities that we need to consider and very important for us to know for the change we want to happen. These qualities are all according to Bill Bright's book entitled "The Joy of Trusting God." God is all-powerful and nothing is too hard for Him no matter what we might be facing, I guess that is enough reason to entrust our lives to Him and obey Him. God is ever-present; He is everywhere and walks with us, gives us strength and understands our pain. He knows everything about us, our desires, motives, and thoughts. Our Lord knows us perfectly and intimately. God is sovereign for he is the king of all kings. Since He has created all of us, definitely He has already made a plan for us. He has a purpose for each and every one of us and you need to find out what is it. I think I have found mine. God is holy and is the absolute truth. Truthfulness that will free us to live as He has intended, the truth will set us free right? God is righteous and just. He delays His judgment because He patiently provides an opportunity for repentance. God is love; it is absolutely unconditional and merciful. The kind of love close to this we know is the love of a mother for her children. Because He is merciful, He forgives all our sins when we confess them sincerely. Finally, God is faithful. He has promised to be near to all who call upon Him. This is the God, our Father who does not expect us to earn His approval. Once you come to know this Father, your life will never be the same again like mine. Yeah it's hard I must admit but I know God's there for me.
God desires the best for all of us for He already knew us before we were born according to Psalm 139:15. God already has a plan for each and every one of us according to Jeremiah 26:11-14, they are all good plans so becoming homosexual is definitely not a plan for us. Homosexuality enslaves us with our physical and sexual needs, and once we pray to Him to free us from this slavery He will listen and end it in His time. All we need to do is to seek God, accept Him as our personal Lord and Savior, ask forgiveness and repent, He will work in our lives and gives what we need including the change we want to happen. The change is not abrupt like what is going on with my life now but in God's time it will come.
So it is necessary to see God as He really is; His majesty, unlimited power, and everlasting love. Our misconception of God must go for they block God's power from working in our lives. As we desire to fulfill the first commandment, to love God with all our being, He in His great mercy makes this possible.
At first, I have no idea what does the author meant by correcting God's image. All I know is that God is the creator of heaven and earth and everything in there including us human, that He is super powerful and nothing is impossible to Him. What Frank meant is that, aside from those facts I mentioned; God has certain qualities which we're not aware of. Qualities that we need to know in order for us to have an intimae relationship with Him and to make the change we want in our life possible.
Without a doubt, much of the world has a corrupted image of God and it is essential to have that image be corrected especially for homosexuals. Back to my previous posts, I have mentioned that homosexuality is not born with us as we originally thought; well that's according to Frank and I believe him. Again, homosexuality rooted from our early childhood and usually caused by emotionally absent father like in my case, growing up fatherless, molestation and other past circumstances that have affected our original sexuality. Ergo, it's not right to blame God that He created us to be gay. In my experience it was my choice to indulge to this kind of lifestyle and self identification and I am pretty sure it's your choice too. We all know that God has created man and woman and no one in between and that is the truth so we need to live with that reality.
We also need to consider that the world we are all living in right now is not the kind of world God has originally intended to create. It became distorted since the time when Eve and Adam disobeyed God and it was the start of all evilness up to present. Why? Have you realized that all the problems we encounter everyday and every evil thing in this world comes from the wrong choices? So as with Adam and Eve and so are we. So it's our choice not to obey God's word, to do everything in our own way, to become homosexual, and now if we want to change; it's also our choice to correct everything that went wrong.
There are lots of God's qualities that we need to consider and very important for us to know for the change we want to happen. These qualities are all according to Bill Bright's book entitled "The Joy of Trusting God." God is all-powerful and nothing is too hard for Him no matter what we might be facing, I guess that is enough reason to entrust our lives to Him and obey Him. God is ever-present; He is everywhere and walks with us, gives us strength and understands our pain. He knows everything about us, our desires, motives, and thoughts. Our Lord knows us perfectly and intimately. God is sovereign for he is the king of all kings. Since He has created all of us, definitely He has already made a plan for us. He has a purpose for each and every one of us and you need to find out what is it. I think I have found mine. God is holy and is the absolute truth. Truthfulness that will free us to live as He has intended, the truth will set us free right? God is righteous and just. He delays His judgment because He patiently provides an opportunity for repentance. God is love; it is absolutely unconditional and merciful. The kind of love close to this we know is the love of a mother for her children. Because He is merciful, He forgives all our sins when we confess them sincerely. Finally, God is faithful. He has promised to be near to all who call upon Him. This is the God, our Father who does not expect us to earn His approval. Once you come to know this Father, your life will never be the same again like mine. Yeah it's hard I must admit but I know God's there for me.
God desires the best for all of us for He already knew us before we were born according to Psalm 139:15. God already has a plan for each and every one of us according to Jeremiah 26:11-14, they are all good plans so becoming homosexual is definitely not a plan for us. Homosexuality enslaves us with our physical and sexual needs, and once we pray to Him to free us from this slavery He will listen and end it in His time. All we need to do is to seek God, accept Him as our personal Lord and Savior, ask forgiveness and repent, He will work in our lives and gives what we need including the change we want to happen. The change is not abrupt like what is going on with my life now but in God's time it will come.
So it is necessary to see God as He really is; His majesty, unlimited power, and everlasting love. Our misconception of God must go for they block God's power from working in our lives. As we desire to fulfill the first commandment, to love God with all our being, He in His great mercy makes this possible.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Homosexuality Part 7
Spiritual Warfare
Of course, if you have decided to leave homosexuality just like what I did there will always be a spiritual warfare going on inside and outside of us. The enemy will not stand idly by while we form a new, godly lifestyle and every step we take will be challenged. He will try to snatch away each truth, bringing doubt, disbelief and confusion. But we need to be reminded constantly that we have been given the authority over the enemy.
We need to think positive all the time that we can do this. Now that I know that I can't get any satisfaction with any sexual encounter or relationship from the same sex, I am pretty sure that the next attractive guy that will come my way will be the same like my past encounters. Oh yes, the moment when you're having sex maybe great and feels good but after that the feeling of guilt, not fully satisfied kind of feeling, empty happiness, and loneliness after wards is always there. This "after the sex encounter" moment for me will make me realize and shift my attention to reality every time I bump into some sexually attractive guy; then I will continue my walk. Believe it or not I must admit; there's a feeling of a little regret whenever I do that but the feeling of being triumphant over the temptation is better and more rewarding. In that way, I can talk freely without any guilt with God and it feels really good.
Christianity is somewhat complicated and sometimes confusing due to the differences in opinion with other Christians. The enemy will use this as a personal attack to us so we must be guarded all the time and must think rationally. Do not let yourself get affected easily by negative behaviors or events with the people around you because you must accept the fact that there is inconsistencies and imperfection in everything including Christianity. We must learn to forgive to keep the enemy from getting the advantage over us.
Let me mention to you the instruments being used by the enemy or by the evil to lure us back into sin as I have learned from the book. First is boredom, normally we use sex as the answer to this. This will remain a great temptation since all people are tempted to return to their old patterns of behavior when they are uncomfortable and in search of escape. Now we are challenged to discover how to use our times alone constructively rather than returning to the easy and sinful solutions of the past. As for me, I read Christian books and I enjoy writing this journal.
Loneliness is the second instrument and a tough one to beat. But did you know that as God's creation, we do not have the right to be lonely? Why do you think is that? Usually, our loneliness is cause by the unmet needs of us which is actually a form of selfishness. For instance is self pity or anger at others or a desire for revenge. These negative thoughts or feelings will be used by evil so you need to be careful. For homosexuals, most of the times we tend to become lonely when we do not have good and intimate relationships with others. Loneliness is quite different from being alone and we can use this time in Bible reading or intercessory prayer, well that's what I do.
Depression, despair and hopelessness were also mentioned in the book. Again for me, these emotions are somewhat related to loneliness which is usually an act of selfishness or self-pity if you're going to analyze deeply. Believe me, at first I find it hard to believe but its true. Sometimes the cause of this is impatience so we need to learn to be patient for it's a virtue as they say. To avoid these emotions, we need to look for the positive things in our life and be happy. I am quite sure that there is always a positive from a negative situation or else there will be no universal balance.
Disbelief in God. Sometimes if we're really in a situation which is very difficult for us to handle, we tend to feel this way. Believe that God is watching us and there's a reason for everything.
Homesickness was also mention as well as cynicism. These are negative emotions and also another ways where we can easily fall short. For homesickness, just be reminded constantly why and what you are for in whatever situation you are and pray. Being cynical will drive people away from you so learn how to gauge and trust people.
A flashback is another instrument that will make us fall again. Go back to the second paragraph of this blog and read it for the second time. So don't be tempted to do it again when you're having flashbacks inadvertently or intentionally with your past life including the sexual encounters.
Do not let your healthy interests outside the church consume so much about your time. When we get caught up in our interests to the extreme like with our job or hobbies, spiritual things begin to seem disconnected from real life. Make your Sunday available for God and always find time to pray and read the bible.
The last instrument that is mentioned is; I can't even believe myself, the thought of having a Christian lover! For me this is ridiculous so since I have decided to follow the Lord and leave homosexuality behind, I do not entertain this kind of idea anymore though I must admit there are lots of good looking Christian guys or gays I must say but it's a no now. So having said that, don't be tempted!
As the temple of the Holy Spirit, we must guard our bodies and minds against all forms of immorality. If we fall, we must accept forgiveness from God and continue our walk with Him by resisting all the temptations around us.
Of course, if you have decided to leave homosexuality just like what I did there will always be a spiritual warfare going on inside and outside of us. The enemy will not stand idly by while we form a new, godly lifestyle and every step we take will be challenged. He will try to snatch away each truth, bringing doubt, disbelief and confusion. But we need to be reminded constantly that we have been given the authority over the enemy.
We need to think positive all the time that we can do this. Now that I know that I can't get any satisfaction with any sexual encounter or relationship from the same sex, I am pretty sure that the next attractive guy that will come my way will be the same like my past encounters. Oh yes, the moment when you're having sex maybe great and feels good but after that the feeling of guilt, not fully satisfied kind of feeling, empty happiness, and loneliness after wards is always there. This "after the sex encounter" moment for me will make me realize and shift my attention to reality every time I bump into some sexually attractive guy; then I will continue my walk. Believe it or not I must admit; there's a feeling of a little regret whenever I do that but the feeling of being triumphant over the temptation is better and more rewarding. In that way, I can talk freely without any guilt with God and it feels really good.
Christianity is somewhat complicated and sometimes confusing due to the differences in opinion with other Christians. The enemy will use this as a personal attack to us so we must be guarded all the time and must think rationally. Do not let yourself get affected easily by negative behaviors or events with the people around you because you must accept the fact that there is inconsistencies and imperfection in everything including Christianity. We must learn to forgive to keep the enemy from getting the advantage over us.
Let me mention to you the instruments being used by the enemy or by the evil to lure us back into sin as I have learned from the book. First is boredom, normally we use sex as the answer to this. This will remain a great temptation since all people are tempted to return to their old patterns of behavior when they are uncomfortable and in search of escape. Now we are challenged to discover how to use our times alone constructively rather than returning to the easy and sinful solutions of the past. As for me, I read Christian books and I enjoy writing this journal.
Loneliness is the second instrument and a tough one to beat. But did you know that as God's creation, we do not have the right to be lonely? Why do you think is that? Usually, our loneliness is cause by the unmet needs of us which is actually a form of selfishness. For instance is self pity or anger at others or a desire for revenge. These negative thoughts or feelings will be used by evil so you need to be careful. For homosexuals, most of the times we tend to become lonely when we do not have good and intimate relationships with others. Loneliness is quite different from being alone and we can use this time in Bible reading or intercessory prayer, well that's what I do.
Depression, despair and hopelessness were also mentioned in the book. Again for me, these emotions are somewhat related to loneliness which is usually an act of selfishness or self-pity if you're going to analyze deeply. Believe me, at first I find it hard to believe but its true. Sometimes the cause of this is impatience so we need to learn to be patient for it's a virtue as they say. To avoid these emotions, we need to look for the positive things in our life and be happy. I am quite sure that there is always a positive from a negative situation or else there will be no universal balance.
Disbelief in God. Sometimes if we're really in a situation which is very difficult for us to handle, we tend to feel this way. Believe that God is watching us and there's a reason for everything.
Homesickness was also mention as well as cynicism. These are negative emotions and also another ways where we can easily fall short. For homesickness, just be reminded constantly why and what you are for in whatever situation you are and pray. Being cynical will drive people away from you so learn how to gauge and trust people.
A flashback is another instrument that will make us fall again. Go back to the second paragraph of this blog and read it for the second time. So don't be tempted to do it again when you're having flashbacks inadvertently or intentionally with your past life including the sexual encounters.
Do not let your healthy interests outside the church consume so much about your time. When we get caught up in our interests to the extreme like with our job or hobbies, spiritual things begin to seem disconnected from real life. Make your Sunday available for God and always find time to pray and read the bible.
The last instrument that is mentioned is; I can't even believe myself, the thought of having a Christian lover! For me this is ridiculous so since I have decided to follow the Lord and leave homosexuality behind, I do not entertain this kind of idea anymore though I must admit there are lots of good looking Christian guys or gays I must say but it's a no now. So having said that, don't be tempted!
As the temple of the Holy Spirit, we must guard our bodies and minds against all forms of immorality. If we fall, we must accept forgiveness from God and continue our walk with Him by resisting all the temptations around us.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Homosexuality Part 6
Doing The Ordinary
This is the fourth step and the 6th chapter in Worthen's book entitled "This Way Out." God want us to do things like ordinary Christian people do like He want us joined to a body of believers. Once we have made a tough decision to leave homosexuality behind, we must seek the love and support of God's people. Intercessory prayer is essential to bring a new life and a victorious walk, and it can only come from other Christians. To be in Christ and part of Christ, we must also be in and part of His body, the Church.
As of this writing, only my few female friends from the church I go to knew this dilemma of mine. Exposing my real sexuality to male church goers I have met is still in the stage of planning as to when and how am I gonna tell them.
According to Frank, the problem of homosexuality is not so unique and special as we think that's why God does not exempt us from having to do the ordinary expected of all Christians. We do not have to have an isolated Christian life especially from same sex because that is what we need; the affirmation from same sex on a non-sexual level of relationships. One author quoted that homosexuality is difficulty in relating to same sex and not to the opposite sex. Perhaps it's the reason why gays can relate so comfortably with women on a non-sexual level. Having said that, the main root of homosexuality can be healed as a sense of affirmation and belonging replaces that deep sense of alienation through interdependence. It is what the Lord calls us to in the Body of Christ and it is a part of His plan for healing.
Simply attending church regularly won't do it, but this is a foundation for change that must be carefully laid. Bible study, prayer, fellowship and service are also ordinary things which require our attention if we want that change to takes place.
The Bible is the living word and has been supernaturally pieced together by the Holy Spirit. It is the manual of our life as a human and we need to obey it for God will reward our obedience.
Prayer is an imperative part of the change process. We must pray for ourselves and others certainly, but what great change can happen when a group engages in intercessory prayer on our behalf. Also be reminded that we need to be patient, I asked the Lord to change my views on men so that I won't be attracted to them but it will take time. Always, I have to remind myself that a change is a long process and an immediate result from prayers should not be expected. I have learned that I need to obey God's words and will and wait Him to bless my obedience. My friend keeps reminding me that God honors everything that I gave up for Him like turning away from sexually attractive men, I always think that it's not worth it if I gave in to them. The waiting period is a test of our faith so we need to be patient, wait and knowing God is faithful to reward us for our sacrifices, than to build a case against God and suffer the results of separation from God.
Fellowship means taking an interest in others and watching out for one another then rewards will come back in our direction. As part of the body of Christ, we are responsible also with one another. Like what I have learned in the workshop, we need to be the salt or light to others that will give them hope and light in darkness.
God also requires us to serve in churches. At first, I thought that I need to get my act together before I serve the Lord but it should not be the case. In my experience, when I help others with the same struggle that I have whether on homosexuality or other issues it helps me to understand life more and become mature as a Christian. Also, it feels like sharing the same faith with others and it gives joy to my heart.
So find a church where you are comfortable and people whom you can trust and then build a solid rock foundation for the change you want to occur towards a completely healed sexuality. Obedience to His words is the key and God honors our day-in and day-out obedience. So when the storm comes He will protect and upholds us. God's grace will save us from disaster but He won't do it our way. We might have a long wait and doing the ordinary may seem like a waste of time, but every act of obedience moves us farther along in the change process. Most of the time, change comes silently and unobserved. Only when we stop and look back do we realize how far we've come.
This is the fourth step and the 6th chapter in Worthen's book entitled "This Way Out." God want us to do things like ordinary Christian people do like He want us joined to a body of believers. Once we have made a tough decision to leave homosexuality behind, we must seek the love and support of God's people. Intercessory prayer is essential to bring a new life and a victorious walk, and it can only come from other Christians. To be in Christ and part of Christ, we must also be in and part of His body, the Church.
As of this writing, only my few female friends from the church I go to knew this dilemma of mine. Exposing my real sexuality to male church goers I have met is still in the stage of planning as to when and how am I gonna tell them.
According to Frank, the problem of homosexuality is not so unique and special as we think that's why God does not exempt us from having to do the ordinary expected of all Christians. We do not have to have an isolated Christian life especially from same sex because that is what we need; the affirmation from same sex on a non-sexual level of relationships. One author quoted that homosexuality is difficulty in relating to same sex and not to the opposite sex. Perhaps it's the reason why gays can relate so comfortably with women on a non-sexual level. Having said that, the main root of homosexuality can be healed as a sense of affirmation and belonging replaces that deep sense of alienation through interdependence. It is what the Lord calls us to in the Body of Christ and it is a part of His plan for healing.
Simply attending church regularly won't do it, but this is a foundation for change that must be carefully laid. Bible study, prayer, fellowship and service are also ordinary things which require our attention if we want that change to takes place.
The Bible is the living word and has been supernaturally pieced together by the Holy Spirit. It is the manual of our life as a human and we need to obey it for God will reward our obedience.
Prayer is an imperative part of the change process. We must pray for ourselves and others certainly, but what great change can happen when a group engages in intercessory prayer on our behalf. Also be reminded that we need to be patient, I asked the Lord to change my views on men so that I won't be attracted to them but it will take time. Always, I have to remind myself that a change is a long process and an immediate result from prayers should not be expected. I have learned that I need to obey God's words and will and wait Him to bless my obedience. My friend keeps reminding me that God honors everything that I gave up for Him like turning away from sexually attractive men, I always think that it's not worth it if I gave in to them. The waiting period is a test of our faith so we need to be patient, wait and knowing God is faithful to reward us for our sacrifices, than to build a case against God and suffer the results of separation from God.
Fellowship means taking an interest in others and watching out for one another then rewards will come back in our direction. As part of the body of Christ, we are responsible also with one another. Like what I have learned in the workshop, we need to be the salt or light to others that will give them hope and light in darkness.
God also requires us to serve in churches. At first, I thought that I need to get my act together before I serve the Lord but it should not be the case. In my experience, when I help others with the same struggle that I have whether on homosexuality or other issues it helps me to understand life more and become mature as a Christian. Also, it feels like sharing the same faith with others and it gives joy to my heart.
So find a church where you are comfortable and people whom you can trust and then build a solid rock foundation for the change you want to occur towards a completely healed sexuality. Obedience to His words is the key and God honors our day-in and day-out obedience. So when the storm comes He will protect and upholds us. God's grace will save us from disaster but He won't do it our way. We might have a long wait and doing the ordinary may seem like a waste of time, but every act of obedience moves us farther along in the change process. Most of the time, change comes silently and unobserved. Only when we stop and look back do we realize how far we've come.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Channels Of Hope
Let me take a break for a moment from the topic or book I am discussing to you about on my past few blogs, Frank Worthen's This Way Out. I know I said I will write about "Doing the Ordinary" chapter but please allow me to tell about the workshop I have attended last April 15-22 held at Bay view Park Hotel in Manila. The workshop was about the "Channels of Hope" program originally developed by Christian AIDS Bureau of Southern Africa or CABSA from a Christian perspective. It was a facilitators training that aims to educate the faith leaders on HIV and AIDS and eventually have them lead the de-stigmatization of the community on this pandemic. This is the ministry I have prayed for the Lord and I hope this is the start of it. When I became positive with HIV, I have wanted to make this unexpected consequence of my sinful action into something beautiful which will affect change not only to my life but to others lives as well.
In the workshop, the trainers headed by Christo Greyling of World Vision South Africa; tackled about HIV and AIDS from basic to more than the basics, from diagnosis to acceptance, on how to live positively, ARV or antiretroviral treatment, prevention strategies, Christian and community response on the issue and mobilizing a church community. I, myself, have given my testimony to show to my fellow participants how and what is really going on to the life of a person living with HIV. It was my first time to tell my story in front of people, there are about 35 of them, and I never thought that I would get emotional but it was alright. They were touched by my struggles but the good thing was they have seen the picture of someone with HIV like me. They we're happy about my decision of following the Lord and having a very positive outlook in life.
Actually, lots of them said a lot of beautiful things about what's coming in to my life like God will use me to bless lots of people. But the most nerve-wracking was when they we're kidding me that I will become a pastor and even talks about studying in a theological institute! Well, God knows that I don't want to be like one but if it is His plan that's fine with me I think. Also I would love to study Counseling Psychology so I hope and pray that God will allow this thing to happen.
Aside from the fact that I have met Christo, the best thing that ever happened in that workshop is gaining 34 friends from the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Island, India, and Indonesia. It was extremely wonderful experience indeed and I am very excited to do this Channels of Hope not only here in the country but also to other parts of the world as well.
Praise God!
In the workshop, the trainers headed by Christo Greyling of World Vision South Africa; tackled about HIV and AIDS from basic to more than the basics, from diagnosis to acceptance, on how to live positively, ARV or antiretroviral treatment, prevention strategies, Christian and community response on the issue and mobilizing a church community. I, myself, have given my testimony to show to my fellow participants how and what is really going on to the life of a person living with HIV. It was my first time to tell my story in front of people, there are about 35 of them, and I never thought that I would get emotional but it was alright. They were touched by my struggles but the good thing was they have seen the picture of someone with HIV like me. They we're happy about my decision of following the Lord and having a very positive outlook in life.
Actually, lots of them said a lot of beautiful things about what's coming in to my life like God will use me to bless lots of people. But the most nerve-wracking was when they we're kidding me that I will become a pastor and even talks about studying in a theological institute! Well, God knows that I don't want to be like one but if it is His plan that's fine with me I think. Also I would love to study Counseling Psychology so I hope and pray that God will allow this thing to happen.
Aside from the fact that I have met Christo, the best thing that ever happened in that workshop is gaining 34 friends from the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Island, India, and Indonesia. It was extremely wonderful experience indeed and I am very excited to do this Channels of Hope not only here in the country but also to other parts of the world as well.
Praise God!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Homosexuality Part 5
The Need For A Savior
It is the title of the fifth chapter of Worthen's book entitled This Way Out and the next step in restoring the original sexuality of a homosexual.
Closely connected with brokenness is the acknowledgment of a need for a Savior. There must be an admission that we cannot change ourselves, that we have failed in living a holy life or righteous life and that Christ is the only person who can bring change to our lives.
Most human beings find it difficult, if not impossible, to admit they need help. Nobody wants to say, "I was wrong." Pride, an integral part of our nature, often blocks us from crying out, even when our need is great. Repentance and brokenness mean we have to face our need for a Savior. Without this vital step, change cannot take place. No one else can make this decision for us. It must come from our heart.
Changing who we think we are is really hard and we must take note that a change is a process, more often than not it's a very long one. When you have decided to leave homosexuality and accepted Christ as your Savior, you must not rely on your own strength. Jesus is the center of your life now and He's now in charge. This is the meaning of the first in the Ten Commandments, putting God first before everything. That is how we love God more than anything; the Lord wants us to be very dependent on Him. If we do this, the change we are longing for will take place on its own.
Look, it is a three way battle between God, Satan who represents Evil, and us. When evil is in control, we make dumb mistakes and our actions are not even in our best interests. When we join with God and depose Satan, we have two possibilities as to who will run our lives: God or ourselves. The wise individual will review his life and realize that his record as boss is not the greatest. For instance is myself, I was in total control of everything in my life for the past ten years and look what happened. I have lost almost everything. So I opted to let God take control and so far, so good. This laying down of weapons and submitting is not usually done gladly, but with great effort and in small segments.
The fool goes on to win his battle with God. This is a hollow triumph for there is no real victory when we win against God. Eventually, evil re-emerges and takes control from us. When we are dealing with super powers, there is no hope for us to win a lasting victory.
All of us need to remember that God has a perfect plan for our lives and if we thwart this plan, we come out second best. Again as homosexuals, we need to admit that we have this problem to Him and we have inability to manage it on our own. It's a minute by minute dependence on Jesus everyday for the rest of our lives. God's plan is that we seek Jesus in every decision, and in every avenue our life takes.
In 2 Corinthians 1:9, it is mentioned that we should not trust in ourselves. I know this is a hard lesson to learn coz ever since when we're young, we have been taught to trust in ourselves and be confident. But hey! We are God's creation and property. Don't you think it's just right that God will take control of every move and decision we make with our lives? Besides, we owe our lives to Him right? Though God has given us free will as a gift, it causes us the most trouble and is most frequently questioned. Why does God give us this ability? Why are we free to receive Christ or reject Him? Obviously, God wants a people that have accepted Him by choice, not by being forced into a decision. Now, if we've chosen God, how much will we allow Him to influence our lives? If we are wise, we'll let Him have free reign since He is our Maker and knows what is best for us. God will make us what we ought to be, and our lives will be greatly blessed for it.
Again, brokenness must be so complete, that we no longer have any penchant to regain control of our lives, but allow God and the Holy Spirit to lead. Victory is dependence on Jesus.
Next step is about doing the ordinary.
It is the title of the fifth chapter of Worthen's book entitled This Way Out and the next step in restoring the original sexuality of a homosexual.
Closely connected with brokenness is the acknowledgment of a need for a Savior. There must be an admission that we cannot change ourselves, that we have failed in living a holy life or righteous life and that Christ is the only person who can bring change to our lives.
Most human beings find it difficult, if not impossible, to admit they need help. Nobody wants to say, "I was wrong." Pride, an integral part of our nature, often blocks us from crying out, even when our need is great. Repentance and brokenness mean we have to face our need for a Savior. Without this vital step, change cannot take place. No one else can make this decision for us. It must come from our heart.
Changing who we think we are is really hard and we must take note that a change is a process, more often than not it's a very long one. When you have decided to leave homosexuality and accepted Christ as your Savior, you must not rely on your own strength. Jesus is the center of your life now and He's now in charge. This is the meaning of the first in the Ten Commandments, putting God first before everything. That is how we love God more than anything; the Lord wants us to be very dependent on Him. If we do this, the change we are longing for will take place on its own.
Look, it is a three way battle between God, Satan who represents Evil, and us. When evil is in control, we make dumb mistakes and our actions are not even in our best interests. When we join with God and depose Satan, we have two possibilities as to who will run our lives: God or ourselves. The wise individual will review his life and realize that his record as boss is not the greatest. For instance is myself, I was in total control of everything in my life for the past ten years and look what happened. I have lost almost everything. So I opted to let God take control and so far, so good. This laying down of weapons and submitting is not usually done gladly, but with great effort and in small segments.
The fool goes on to win his battle with God. This is a hollow triumph for there is no real victory when we win against God. Eventually, evil re-emerges and takes control from us. When we are dealing with super powers, there is no hope for us to win a lasting victory.
All of us need to remember that God has a perfect plan for our lives and if we thwart this plan, we come out second best. Again as homosexuals, we need to admit that we have this problem to Him and we have inability to manage it on our own. It's a minute by minute dependence on Jesus everyday for the rest of our lives. God's plan is that we seek Jesus in every decision, and in every avenue our life takes.
In 2 Corinthians 1:9, it is mentioned that we should not trust in ourselves. I know this is a hard lesson to learn coz ever since when we're young, we have been taught to trust in ourselves and be confident. But hey! We are God's creation and property. Don't you think it's just right that God will take control of every move and decision we make with our lives? Besides, we owe our lives to Him right? Though God has given us free will as a gift, it causes us the most trouble and is most frequently questioned. Why does God give us this ability? Why are we free to receive Christ or reject Him? Obviously, God wants a people that have accepted Him by choice, not by being forced into a decision. Now, if we've chosen God, how much will we allow Him to influence our lives? If we are wise, we'll let Him have free reign since He is our Maker and knows what is best for us. God will make us what we ought to be, and our lives will be greatly blessed for it.
Again, brokenness must be so complete, that we no longer have any penchant to regain control of our lives, but allow God and the Holy Spirit to lead. Victory is dependence on Jesus.
Next step is about doing the ordinary.
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