Whether this is the day of your salvation or the day of your rededication to Jesus Christ please let me share and join with me in this sinner's prayer. This can be found on the last chapter of Frank Worthen's book entitled "This Way Out."
"Our heavenly Father, against You have I sinned. I now confess in my heart, and I will confess publicly, that Jesus Christ is Lord, the risen Son of God, raised from the dead to bring me new life and deliverance from the Evil One.
I now accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.
I renounce Satan and the power he has exerted over my life, to make the changes You desire to be made. I ask that your Holy Spirit will come to dwell within me bringing me strength and giving me all the power I need to resist temptation.
I declare now, that having asked You this and having received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, that I am no longer the person I was, I am a new creature in Christ, I am no longer controlled by my past.
I have been reborn. I have a new life. I have been freed from my sin. Praise You Jesus! All this I ask and declare in Jesus' name. Amen."
Now your past need not control the present or your future. You may right now feel release. All your sins, even those of just a few minutes ago, have been forgiven. You have a fresh start. Even if you feel nothing, something has happened; you are not the same person. God has declared you righteous in His sight. You are as clean as a newborn baby. God has said, "All that lust, all those sex acts, all the shabby things you have done, I have thrown them into the sea of forgetfulness. I see you as pure; I have restored your virginity. This day I declare you unspoiled, untouched, a virgin."
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A Personal Letter To You
This is a letter by Frank Worthen to a non-Christian gay which can be found on the 16th chapter of his book. Let me share it to you.
Dear friend,
Like you, I have had a lifelong struggle with homosexuality. I know what it means to be different, to be rejected and to cause pain to others because of your orientation. Despite what some may think, we didn't just one day decide to be homosexual. Your opinion of how you become gay may differ from mine and that's okay, but I think you will agree that you didn't ask for it. We live in an imperfect world and unfair things happen. No doubt you fought a battle with homosexual impulses, then give in and decided that you could never win. It was impossible to change, and you had to accept what you are.
Yes, for us it is an impossible battle one will never win. This has caused us to make several mistakes that have widened the gap between us and the heterosexual world. The first mistake is in accepting our orientation and defending our way of life.
To accept one's affliction and champion its cause is to call good evil and evil good. It is counterproductive and locks us into a lifestyle that brings unhappiness and defeat.
As our sexual interests developed and we looked to people of the same sex to meet our needs, we encouraged our responses and widened the scope of our affliction. We must bear responsibility for nurturing our problem. Another mistake is having closed the option for a heterosexual life. We have embraced the chains that bound us and have abandoned any idea of freedom. Most of us have avoided all social interaction that would have encouraged a heterosexual development.
So where are you this day? Perhaps you have found your adjustment; you are relatively happy in the gay lifestyle. You may think that you are no different from your heterosexual counterpart, no better or no worse. If offered freedom from your homosexual lifestyle, you probably first, wouldn't believe it, and second, would not want to make an adjustment now that things are comfortable with you the way they are.
We do learn to live within parameters we are given. Until motivation for change comes into our lives, we continue as we are. But there is someone who does break into our lives, who calls us when we are at that special point in time where we can listen to the caller. The One who calls is the One who made us in the first place. Scripture says that God knew us before we were conceived. Whether you accept this or not, God did not create us gay. It is not His design that we continue in a lifestyle contrary to His pattern for mankind. God saw that we all were living in poverty, poverty of spirit as well as poverty of peace and joy. He sent Jesus to live in this world. Jesus saw our condition and He wept over it. It is so far from what He intended to be.
Jesus saw that we couldn't help ourselves, that left alone we will self-destruct. He knew for us it was an impossible battle. This is why He called us to Himself. He said that He will walk beside us, providing the strength and power we need to turn back to His perfect way. He did not say that we would not suffer while the changes are being made, but He did say that He will never leave us or forsake us. He will guide us throughout the difficult times.
At sometime in your life, Jesus is going to call you. It may be now, it may be later. But He calls every person at some point in their life. To answer the call means to surrender all, to acknowledge that you need help and to humbly accept His hand as He pulls you up out of the pit.
Jesus did this for me many years ago, and I have never regretted it one day since. When we live without fulfillment and inner peace, we become indifferent to its existence. But once we have found it, we know that we have been missing something very important in our lives and would never go back to our old life.
Does becoming a Christian frighten you? Do you immediately fear the thought of having to give up sex? Of course it's frightening; facing the unknown always causes anxiety. All ex-gays have had to face this. Many, however, have found that their fears are groundless. God has given them a new experience, that of sex within the will of God: Sex in marriage. Others have found that "celibacy" is not a dirty word. God provides a gift of celibacy for those who are not ready for marriage. Up to now, I have found peace and joy in leading a celibate lifestyle. This may sound strange, but God takes care of His own. He does not torment us, but pours out rich blessings from His heart.
I encourage you to seek out a Christian friend and ask him about Jesus. Find out what it means to have someone whose love for you is eternal, someone who did not come to condemn you and to judge you, but to lift you up, not put you down. Jesus is the brother we never had, the lover we could never find. He is the One who cares. You may reject Him but as long as you live, He will never reject you. He offers a new way of life, on His terms. Consider it, I did and I am going to be eternally grateful to Him for it.
In His Love,
Frank Worthen
Frank Worthen is now happily married to Anita Thomas on November 24, 1984.
Dear friend,
Like you, I have had a lifelong struggle with homosexuality. I know what it means to be different, to be rejected and to cause pain to others because of your orientation. Despite what some may think, we didn't just one day decide to be homosexual. Your opinion of how you become gay may differ from mine and that's okay, but I think you will agree that you didn't ask for it. We live in an imperfect world and unfair things happen. No doubt you fought a battle with homosexual impulses, then give in and decided that you could never win. It was impossible to change, and you had to accept what you are.
Yes, for us it is an impossible battle one will never win. This has caused us to make several mistakes that have widened the gap between us and the heterosexual world. The first mistake is in accepting our orientation and defending our way of life.
To accept one's affliction and champion its cause is to call good evil and evil good. It is counterproductive and locks us into a lifestyle that brings unhappiness and defeat.
As our sexual interests developed and we looked to people of the same sex to meet our needs, we encouraged our responses and widened the scope of our affliction. We must bear responsibility for nurturing our problem. Another mistake is having closed the option for a heterosexual life. We have embraced the chains that bound us and have abandoned any idea of freedom. Most of us have avoided all social interaction that would have encouraged a heterosexual development.
So where are you this day? Perhaps you have found your adjustment; you are relatively happy in the gay lifestyle. You may think that you are no different from your heterosexual counterpart, no better or no worse. If offered freedom from your homosexual lifestyle, you probably first, wouldn't believe it, and second, would not want to make an adjustment now that things are comfortable with you the way they are.
We do learn to live within parameters we are given. Until motivation for change comes into our lives, we continue as we are. But there is someone who does break into our lives, who calls us when we are at that special point in time where we can listen to the caller. The One who calls is the One who made us in the first place. Scripture says that God knew us before we were conceived. Whether you accept this or not, God did not create us gay. It is not His design that we continue in a lifestyle contrary to His pattern for mankind. God saw that we all were living in poverty, poverty of spirit as well as poverty of peace and joy. He sent Jesus to live in this world. Jesus saw our condition and He wept over it. It is so far from what He intended to be.
Jesus saw that we couldn't help ourselves, that left alone we will self-destruct. He knew for us it was an impossible battle. This is why He called us to Himself. He said that He will walk beside us, providing the strength and power we need to turn back to His perfect way. He did not say that we would not suffer while the changes are being made, but He did say that He will never leave us or forsake us. He will guide us throughout the difficult times.
At sometime in your life, Jesus is going to call you. It may be now, it may be later. But He calls every person at some point in their life. To answer the call means to surrender all, to acknowledge that you need help and to humbly accept His hand as He pulls you up out of the pit.
Jesus did this for me many years ago, and I have never regretted it one day since. When we live without fulfillment and inner peace, we become indifferent to its existence. But once we have found it, we know that we have been missing something very important in our lives and would never go back to our old life.
Does becoming a Christian frighten you? Do you immediately fear the thought of having to give up sex? Of course it's frightening; facing the unknown always causes anxiety. All ex-gays have had to face this. Many, however, have found that their fears are groundless. God has given them a new experience, that of sex within the will of God: Sex in marriage. Others have found that "celibacy" is not a dirty word. God provides a gift of celibacy for those who are not ready for marriage. Up to now, I have found peace and joy in leading a celibate lifestyle. This may sound strange, but God takes care of His own. He does not torment us, but pours out rich blessings from His heart.
I encourage you to seek out a Christian friend and ask him about Jesus. Find out what it means to have someone whose love for you is eternal, someone who did not come to condemn you and to judge you, but to lift you up, not put you down. Jesus is the brother we never had, the lover we could never find. He is the One who cares. You may reject Him but as long as you live, He will never reject you. He offers a new way of life, on His terms. Consider it, I did and I am going to be eternally grateful to Him for it.
In His Love,
Frank Worthen
Frank Worthen is now happily married to Anita Thomas on November 24, 1984.
Homosexuality Part 14
Walking In The Light
Now that I have shared to you every chapter of the book "This Way Out" by Frank Worthen as well as my own "gayness", I hope you will have now a better understanding why you have become queer and why do we need to step out of it and restores our original sexuality. We're down to the final step which is walking in the light. In this chapter, I will talk about Jesus so if this may sound or read religious and preachy it's inevitable this time.
Jesus is known as the "light" as He is the "light" of men. Walking in the light has much to do with the conduct of our lives. If you have believed everything you have read in this blog about homosexuality and decided to leave it, ask forgiveness and accept Him as your personal Lord and Savior; it must be your heart's desire now to be like Him. If we walk in the Holy Spirit we will not gratify the flesh. This is a walk of faith, trusting that God has provided for us a way out for all temptations and trials.
Walking in the light is like desiring to be like Jesus and being faithful and loyal to Him. It is also seeking to become a mature Christian, shrinking from sexual vice, controlling one's body in purity and ordering our conversation.
We must know how to handle temptations and build new responses on it. When we are tempted, it is important that we stop everything and ask ourselves these questions: What am I doing? Where will this lead? What do I really want? In doing so, we will be less likely to make an unwise and impulsive decision that we will regret later. We will find that we really don't want to jeopardize all that God has done for us by engaging in some personal sexual encounter. The agony of temptation is in the indecision. We want it, but we can't have it. If we build a pattern of indecision, we will always have to go through the torments that ambivalence brings. There is always a split second where we can accept or reject the temptation so we must make a very fast judgment.
Speaking of sexual encounter, of course we must avoid that now and any form of sexual activity including masturbation. Since masturbation is usually fueled by lustful thoughts and dirty fantasies, it automatically becomes a sin. There is a natural build-up of stored fluid in the reproductive system and it brings strong desire for sexual release, so how on earth are we going to do that with no sinful encouragement behind it? God designed our bodies and He has provided natural way for release of these fluids. It is not mentioned in the book what natural way but a friend of mine told me that it could be the wet dreams and the other is sex in marriage when you're ready. If we are walking in the Spirit, we will have the patience and self-control we need during those times. As for me, I have chosen to celibate and somehow I am happy about it. Like I have said, I don't know until when I can do this but I think God is working on it.
Receiving affirmation from same sex Christians is part of walking in the light and it includes affection but up to what extent? For us coming out of the gay lifestyle, touching means stimulation and sensuality; which stems from a non sexual root from early childhood when we're denied this form of affection. For this reason, we might avoid at all costs any kind of intimate relationship. Affection is a vital part of the healing process so we must face the hugging or any skin to skin contact without sensualizing it. All we need is to trust God that He is going to make it possible for us to receive this kind of affection.
Our goal now is to grow up as a Christian struggling in same sex attraction. This is the only way to find inner peace and joy that will carry us through many hardships and it only comes from obedience. If we did not grow up, we are in great danger of slipping back. So expect suffering for being obedient coz it will help us grow mature. Walking in the light is walking in wisdom, forsaking the easy way and doing what pleases God. It is trying to be Holy for without holiness no one will see the Lord. Holiness is obedience to God.
You will be called now a new name; it is no longer "slave" or "prisoner" of this world but a "freed man." Walking in the light means now you are under the authority and the power of God, controlled by the Holy Spirit. We don't have to wait until we no longer have any response for same sex people for God has broken our relationship with the past. Things are different now and will never be the same again.
Walking in the light is acknowledging that God has changed us, is in the process of changing us, and will continue to change us until we stand beside Him. We are to rejoice in what God has done for us.
Now that I have shared to you every chapter of the book "This Way Out" by Frank Worthen as well as my own "gayness", I hope you will have now a better understanding why you have become queer and why do we need to step out of it and restores our original sexuality. We're down to the final step which is walking in the light. In this chapter, I will talk about Jesus so if this may sound or read religious and preachy it's inevitable this time.
Jesus is known as the "light" as He is the "light" of men. Walking in the light has much to do with the conduct of our lives. If you have believed everything you have read in this blog about homosexuality and decided to leave it, ask forgiveness and accept Him as your personal Lord and Savior; it must be your heart's desire now to be like Him. If we walk in the Holy Spirit we will not gratify the flesh. This is a walk of faith, trusting that God has provided for us a way out for all temptations and trials.
Walking in the light is like desiring to be like Jesus and being faithful and loyal to Him. It is also seeking to become a mature Christian, shrinking from sexual vice, controlling one's body in purity and ordering our conversation.
We must know how to handle temptations and build new responses on it. When we are tempted, it is important that we stop everything and ask ourselves these questions: What am I doing? Where will this lead? What do I really want? In doing so, we will be less likely to make an unwise and impulsive decision that we will regret later. We will find that we really don't want to jeopardize all that God has done for us by engaging in some personal sexual encounter. The agony of temptation is in the indecision. We want it, but we can't have it. If we build a pattern of indecision, we will always have to go through the torments that ambivalence brings. There is always a split second where we can accept or reject the temptation so we must make a very fast judgment.
Speaking of sexual encounter, of course we must avoid that now and any form of sexual activity including masturbation. Since masturbation is usually fueled by lustful thoughts and dirty fantasies, it automatically becomes a sin. There is a natural build-up of stored fluid in the reproductive system and it brings strong desire for sexual release, so how on earth are we going to do that with no sinful encouragement behind it? God designed our bodies and He has provided natural way for release of these fluids. It is not mentioned in the book what natural way but a friend of mine told me that it could be the wet dreams and the other is sex in marriage when you're ready. If we are walking in the Spirit, we will have the patience and self-control we need during those times. As for me, I have chosen to celibate and somehow I am happy about it. Like I have said, I don't know until when I can do this but I think God is working on it.
Receiving affirmation from same sex Christians is part of walking in the light and it includes affection but up to what extent? For us coming out of the gay lifestyle, touching means stimulation and sensuality; which stems from a non sexual root from early childhood when we're denied this form of affection. For this reason, we might avoid at all costs any kind of intimate relationship. Affection is a vital part of the healing process so we must face the hugging or any skin to skin contact without sensualizing it. All we need is to trust God that He is going to make it possible for us to receive this kind of affection.
Our goal now is to grow up as a Christian struggling in same sex attraction. This is the only way to find inner peace and joy that will carry us through many hardships and it only comes from obedience. If we did not grow up, we are in great danger of slipping back. So expect suffering for being obedient coz it will help us grow mature. Walking in the light is walking in wisdom, forsaking the easy way and doing what pleases God. It is trying to be Holy for without holiness no one will see the Lord. Holiness is obedience to God.
You will be called now a new name; it is no longer "slave" or "prisoner" of this world but a "freed man." Walking in the light means now you are under the authority and the power of God, controlled by the Holy Spirit. We don't have to wait until we no longer have any response for same sex people for God has broken our relationship with the past. Things are different now and will never be the same again.
Walking in the light is acknowledging that God has changed us, is in the process of changing us, and will continue to change us until we stand beside Him. We are to rejoice in what God has done for us.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Homosexuality Part 13
Displacement
Sorry for the interruption of the series on homosexuality, I just can't ignore everything that happened to me yesterday so albeit I'm a bit tired and sleepy I have posted it here last night.
After submission, displacement is the next step. It means putting off old ways that will affect the change that you want and putting on new ways or things that will greatly help us to really change. Displacement is the idea that one thing pushes out or dislodges another.
I know it is impossible to simply put something out of our lives without another thing taking its place for there is no neutral ground; we are in a battleground of two opposing forces. But please also think that you have the brain to determine which is right from wrong or which is evil from good. Since you have decided to leave homosexuality, you need to remove all things in your life that has something to do with this lifestyle and replace it with something new. Yes it will definitely include leaving gay friends which I exactly did, especially those who are saying that I can not do it. I have replaced them with new Christian friends who are in the same situation like mine; who will help me to be triumphant in this walk with Jesus Christ.
You need to stop chatting through guys4men or other gay websites, throw away all your collections of gay porn magazines, DVD or VCD; stop cruising in the mall for SEB and going to gay bars. You need to remove in your life everything that contributes to your gay lifestyle and replace it with new things. What are these new things? I think I have mentioned them in Part 6 and these are bible study, prayer, fellowship and service, concern for others, and scripture memorization. It is God's words that we used against temptations. It is also vital that we have both spiritual and social interaction with our fellow Christians. Social times must not be neglected but only with the right people.
A change of mind must also be done. Feed your mind with stuff that will help you grow as a new you to displace your old mind frame. Returning to old haunts, listening once again to gay conversations, remembering past sexual encounters; all this brings on hopelessness, a feeling of failure that things will never really change. Even if a sexual encounter has not taken place, just returning to the old environment exposes one to vibes which can strongly influence and reinforce old attitudes and desires.
Remember always that God always forgives us when we stumble, but this does not waive the penalty that our actions have brought upon us; displacement is clearly our responsibility. Ambivalence must be seen as an enemy to change so the option of homosexuality must be firmly closed.
The book also said that the music you listen to should be replaced also, at first I disagreed. But when I listened to Christian music that expresses praise, joy and the power of God, there is a great healing. It gives new positive associations that build our faith. Just give up worldly music that contains explicit sexual languages and just listen to wholesome songs ok? As for me, I love and enjoy Christian music now whether you believe it or not.
Self-pity indicates self-centeredness. You should wholeheartedly follow the first commandment which is to love God above all. Put God on the throne and not our lives for putting self on the center destroys our lives. God must be our first priority and His interests. If that happens, much healing takes place.
Immaturity must be changed to maturity. We should not avoid the trials that bring growth in our lives, tough decisions must be made. Maturity is standing for the Lord against others at times and often against our own selfish desires. Yesterday our pastor in his preaches told us that in this world, everybody is in two kind of suffering. You can choose to suffer for the Lord just to live righteously or the world suffering which is more of suffering for yourself.
We have not been given a spirit of fear, so fear not for the Lord is with us. We have been given the power over the enemy which is the power of Christ. We are to use this power and not hide in fear, we need to take charge.
Lastly are resentments. Forgiveness includes forgiving others and ourselves as well. Anger, hostility, resentment and the desire for retaliation have no place in the new life that we want which is the Christian life.
Perhaps the hardest thing to put off is the homosexual identity. Remember that we have chosen this identity because this is what we think who we are; but deep inside of our hearts we are really against it. If you think that the gay identity held comfort and security, I don't think you can let it go but it must go now. It must be cast off and the identity "Christian" put on.
Displacement is about building a new lifestyle. As long as we look to the old lifestyle as a source of pleasure, acceptance, entertainment, or an anchor for our identity, change will not take place. The new lifestyle is built on simple things like having a positive spirit and welcoming Jesus into all areas of our lives. It takes more than a small amount of courage to walk into the unknown, face tough decisions and build a dependent relationship with Jesus Christ.
Our lives will change to the degree that we encourage growth, filling our minds with the things of God. If we lack wisdom as to what things need to be changed, God will amply supply that also.
Sorry for the interruption of the series on homosexuality, I just can't ignore everything that happened to me yesterday so albeit I'm a bit tired and sleepy I have posted it here last night.
After submission, displacement is the next step. It means putting off old ways that will affect the change that you want and putting on new ways or things that will greatly help us to really change. Displacement is the idea that one thing pushes out or dislodges another.
I know it is impossible to simply put something out of our lives without another thing taking its place for there is no neutral ground; we are in a battleground of two opposing forces. But please also think that you have the brain to determine which is right from wrong or which is evil from good. Since you have decided to leave homosexuality, you need to remove all things in your life that has something to do with this lifestyle and replace it with something new. Yes it will definitely include leaving gay friends which I exactly did, especially those who are saying that I can not do it. I have replaced them with new Christian friends who are in the same situation like mine; who will help me to be triumphant in this walk with Jesus Christ.
You need to stop chatting through guys4men or other gay websites, throw away all your collections of gay porn magazines, DVD or VCD; stop cruising in the mall for SEB and going to gay bars. You need to remove in your life everything that contributes to your gay lifestyle and replace it with new things. What are these new things? I think I have mentioned them in Part 6 and these are bible study, prayer, fellowship and service, concern for others, and scripture memorization. It is God's words that we used against temptations. It is also vital that we have both spiritual and social interaction with our fellow Christians. Social times must not be neglected but only with the right people.
A change of mind must also be done. Feed your mind with stuff that will help you grow as a new you to displace your old mind frame. Returning to old haunts, listening once again to gay conversations, remembering past sexual encounters; all this brings on hopelessness, a feeling of failure that things will never really change. Even if a sexual encounter has not taken place, just returning to the old environment exposes one to vibes which can strongly influence and reinforce old attitudes and desires.
Remember always that God always forgives us when we stumble, but this does not waive the penalty that our actions have brought upon us; displacement is clearly our responsibility. Ambivalence must be seen as an enemy to change so the option of homosexuality must be firmly closed.
The book also said that the music you listen to should be replaced also, at first I disagreed. But when I listened to Christian music that expresses praise, joy and the power of God, there is a great healing. It gives new positive associations that build our faith. Just give up worldly music that contains explicit sexual languages and just listen to wholesome songs ok? As for me, I love and enjoy Christian music now whether you believe it or not.
Self-pity indicates self-centeredness. You should wholeheartedly follow the first commandment which is to love God above all. Put God on the throne and not our lives for putting self on the center destroys our lives. God must be our first priority and His interests. If that happens, much healing takes place.
Immaturity must be changed to maturity. We should not avoid the trials that bring growth in our lives, tough decisions must be made. Maturity is standing for the Lord against others at times and often against our own selfish desires. Yesterday our pastor in his preaches told us that in this world, everybody is in two kind of suffering. You can choose to suffer for the Lord just to live righteously or the world suffering which is more of suffering for yourself.
We have not been given a spirit of fear, so fear not for the Lord is with us. We have been given the power over the enemy which is the power of Christ. We are to use this power and not hide in fear, we need to take charge.
Lastly are resentments. Forgiveness includes forgiving others and ourselves as well. Anger, hostility, resentment and the desire for retaliation have no place in the new life that we want which is the Christian life.
Perhaps the hardest thing to put off is the homosexual identity. Remember that we have chosen this identity because this is what we think who we are; but deep inside of our hearts we are really against it. If you think that the gay identity held comfort and security, I don't think you can let it go but it must go now. It must be cast off and the identity "Christian" put on.
Displacement is about building a new lifestyle. As long as we look to the old lifestyle as a source of pleasure, acceptance, entertainment, or an anchor for our identity, change will not take place. The new lifestyle is built on simple things like having a positive spirit and welcoming Jesus into all areas of our lives. It takes more than a small amount of courage to walk into the unknown, face tough decisions and build a dependent relationship with Jesus Christ.
Our lives will change to the degree that we encourage growth, filling our minds with the things of God. If we lack wisdom as to what things need to be changed, God will amply supply that also.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Who Am I?
This is actually a title of a Christian song sung by Casting Crowns. When my good friend J, whom I've met during the Channels of Hope training, asked me this question today and of course he said "who are you?" I can't find the right answer. We spend the whole afternoon together at the mall in Mandaluyong after the Sunday church service. I was telling him about what I've been through the past three days that I feel like I am having a shabby walk as a Christian and how I have contemplated the idea of going back to my old self. It's like I am living a double life, well, that's what I thought but today God has spoken to me thru J and our church Pastor.
Yes I must admit that at this point of my life, I can say that my trust to God is not whole and He knows that and I am well aware that it should not be the case for I have entrusted my life to Him. I still have the tendency to take control over things in my life. Since I have wanted to obey God to show that I love Him, I keep on waiting and I always pray that He'll wait for me too to make that trust full. All these confusions in my mind were enlightened by God today that's why I am so thankful and happy.
The preach was about Saul and the three days in the history of the world in which the famous is the death of Jesus Christ and when He lived on the third day. All of us will experience or currently experiencing our own three days in our life. This is the waiting period from where we asked something from God until the time He fulfilled it. It could be three days or three months or three hours or even three years or most of the time, longer than that. In this period where our faith is being test by God, is the time when He is preparing us for something before He finally gave what we asked for. He's teaching us to be patient during this time. God wants us to be ready to accept what we actually prayed for. During this period, God wants us to give Him time for He can do a lot in three days. Our prayers will be answered directly or indirectly in His time; it could be exactly what we prayed for or it could be a direction the path He wants us to take. All we need to do is to give Him time and be patient.
Another thing is we need to pray for a change. Most of the time, we think we are actually praying but the truth is we're actually complaining about our situation. We should pray that God would change our situation instead of being crabby. We must discern the reason why God is delaying or allowing other things to happen instead of giving exactly what we prayed for.
Finally, God is teaching us to be humble. Humility is a virtue that every people should carry. We need to be honest with God when we pray that we can't do it anymore and we need His help. Remember that God wants us to be fully dependent on Him. Unless we have learned what God really wants to teach, He will keep delaying the answer to our prayers.
When I have become a Christian and decided to leave homosexuality behind, I always pray every night that God will stop my sexual desire on attractive men and He will keep them away from me. Also, I always pray that He will immediately change my views on men coz I don't know until when I can do this celibacy. I don't want to commit mistake again but the temptation is everywhere and my prayers remain unanswered. I keep praying that He will continue to work in my life for I have given all of me to Him and use me according to His purpose of my life in this world. It includes the job and ministry that I have asked for, though something is happening but for me it's taking too long. All these issues were answered today praise the Lord!
My friend J do not use the term homosexual or gay to someone who has left it and became a Christian. He said that when a person was born again spiritually and became a Christian, the old person has died and the new one is trying to emerge. I think I have mentioned this in my first few postings but somehow it slipped off my mind. So when he asked me the question "who are you?'" as a person in terms of sexuality, here's the right answer.
I am a man and a Christian with a struggle in same-sex attraction; presently on my three days learning humility and discerning God's direction for my life. Actually, I answered J first that in scale of 1-10 and 10 being the real man and 1 as gay I said I am in 2.5 or 3. My reason was that I can still feel same sex attraction and lust though I can turn my back away from them to avoid sex but it's really a struggle, then I said I am still gay. Then he made me realize that now I am an ex-gay, that's the reason why I don't use this term on my postings here regarding homosexuality. If the person chooses to leave the gay lifestyle and decided to walk in light with the Lord, that person is identified as an ex-gay and a Christian man struggling with same sex attraction. That's me, my true identity.
Who are you?
Yes I must admit that at this point of my life, I can say that my trust to God is not whole and He knows that and I am well aware that it should not be the case for I have entrusted my life to Him. I still have the tendency to take control over things in my life. Since I have wanted to obey God to show that I love Him, I keep on waiting and I always pray that He'll wait for me too to make that trust full. All these confusions in my mind were enlightened by God today that's why I am so thankful and happy.
The preach was about Saul and the three days in the history of the world in which the famous is the death of Jesus Christ and when He lived on the third day. All of us will experience or currently experiencing our own three days in our life. This is the waiting period from where we asked something from God until the time He fulfilled it. It could be three days or three months or three hours or even three years or most of the time, longer than that. In this period where our faith is being test by God, is the time when He is preparing us for something before He finally gave what we asked for. He's teaching us to be patient during this time. God wants us to be ready to accept what we actually prayed for. During this period, God wants us to give Him time for He can do a lot in three days. Our prayers will be answered directly or indirectly in His time; it could be exactly what we prayed for or it could be a direction the path He wants us to take. All we need to do is to give Him time and be patient.
Another thing is we need to pray for a change. Most of the time, we think we are actually praying but the truth is we're actually complaining about our situation. We should pray that God would change our situation instead of being crabby. We must discern the reason why God is delaying or allowing other things to happen instead of giving exactly what we prayed for.
Finally, God is teaching us to be humble. Humility is a virtue that every people should carry. We need to be honest with God when we pray that we can't do it anymore and we need His help. Remember that God wants us to be fully dependent on Him. Unless we have learned what God really wants to teach, He will keep delaying the answer to our prayers.
When I have become a Christian and decided to leave homosexuality behind, I always pray every night that God will stop my sexual desire on attractive men and He will keep them away from me. Also, I always pray that He will immediately change my views on men coz I don't know until when I can do this celibacy. I don't want to commit mistake again but the temptation is everywhere and my prayers remain unanswered. I keep praying that He will continue to work in my life for I have given all of me to Him and use me according to His purpose of my life in this world. It includes the job and ministry that I have asked for, though something is happening but for me it's taking too long. All these issues were answered today praise the Lord!
My friend J do not use the term homosexual or gay to someone who has left it and became a Christian. He said that when a person was born again spiritually and became a Christian, the old person has died and the new one is trying to emerge. I think I have mentioned this in my first few postings but somehow it slipped off my mind. So when he asked me the question "who are you?'" as a person in terms of sexuality, here's the right answer.
I am a man and a Christian with a struggle in same-sex attraction; presently on my three days learning humility and discerning God's direction for my life. Actually, I answered J first that in scale of 1-10 and 10 being the real man and 1 as gay I said I am in 2.5 or 3. My reason was that I can still feel same sex attraction and lust though I can turn my back away from them to avoid sex but it's really a struggle, then I said I am still gay. Then he made me realize that now I am an ex-gay, that's the reason why I don't use this term on my postings here regarding homosexuality. If the person chooses to leave the gay lifestyle and decided to walk in light with the Lord, that person is identified as an ex-gay and a Christian man struggling with same sex attraction. That's me, my true identity.
Who are you?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Homosexuality Part 12
Submission
It means yielding and surrendering, or to resist no longer or to give way and to yield to authority and admonition. Submission for a gay person who has decided to step out of it means surrendering himself to God. It means yielding our total selves to Him including our body, our hearts, our mind, our will, our goals and our desires for ourselves. It means allowing God to work on our lives, to take the wheel and lead the path He originally planned us to take. Yes it also means letting Him to take charge of our homosexual issue to make the change we want possible in His time for we cannot do it on our own.
When I had my first sexual encounter, I have felt a sudden guilt. My conscience told me it was wrong and that's the role of our conscience; to make rightful judgment with what we're doing. I just tend to ignore it because I let my flesh desires to take over me and control me for the past 6 or 7 years. Simply I did not obey God and still continued to indulge in lots of casual sex and look what I've got, HIV. It's ok coz it's a consequence of my wrong actions and I need to take responsibility for it, all of us need to. At first I must admit that I have blamed God for letting this to happen and ruined my whole life, but now that I have become a Christian I realized that if only I did not disobeyed Him this horrendous thing would not happen.
Having said that, obedience is also submission. We all know from the start that we should follow God's commandments and His words; instead we opted to live with the standards of this world. We tend to take control of our lives and make self-rule. Based on my experience, my self was not a good ruler and I have learned that our self-rule is far more destructive than our sexual entanglements. Probably you cannot see this for now coz you might be successful or relatively happy as a gay person; but this the reason why God allows us to wallow in our sin until we come to the end of ourselves. That was exactly what happened to me.
Submission is also to acknowledge that we are all God's property; unless you believe that you have evolution from a monkey that I cannot force you. Since we're His property, our lives are His problem and not ours. We stop controlling our lives and letting Him to be responsible for it. It does not mean avoiding responsibility to our selves but it is trusting God.
This may sound scary for you but its quite understandable for stepping into an unknown area is really uncomfortable and really scary. But why do we resist absolute submission to God and refuse Him to allow directing our lives according to His plan? We don't fully trust God and we are sinners. We don't want to give up sex, going to gay bars, watching gay porn movies, cruising in malls or parks and other things we love to do even though we're aware that it was wrong. In short, we want to settle for garbage. These things do not make me really happy and you can ask yourself, so I am trying my best now to avoid all of these. We are worried coz we think that if we do submit ourselves to God and walk with Him, we will have an unhappy life. Well, I cannot say that I am happy now but I can say that I have never felt free and peaceful in my entire life as an adult. Probably because I have some issues that I need to resolve but I am alright and not sad. If you submit to the Lord and obey Him, it means returning some of the love God has showered on us.
So what will happen when you submit? Will you always walk in victory? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. Some have surrendered to the Lord and have never again engaged in homosexual practices or any sexual activities, it was final. God took control, and although they felt temptation from time to time, the power to resist was there in ample proportions; temptation had lost its control. This is true coz sometimes I get tempted to hook up but for some reason, I will avoid it in the end so I won't do it.
Not only are we to submit to God but to His representatives as well like our pastors or spiritual counselors. It's important that we hold accountability to others for they are part of the church that will help us to make this change possible.
Look, all of us will be called by God at a certain point of our life. It's up to us if we're going to respond whether we will accept Him and walk with Him or not. When that time comes, you cannot bypass submission and go on your independent way. Submission is death to self-interest and birth to God's interests. As we build a love relationship with God, obedience will flow from that relationship.
It means yielding and surrendering, or to resist no longer or to give way and to yield to authority and admonition. Submission for a gay person who has decided to step out of it means surrendering himself to God. It means yielding our total selves to Him including our body, our hearts, our mind, our will, our goals and our desires for ourselves. It means allowing God to work on our lives, to take the wheel and lead the path He originally planned us to take. Yes it also means letting Him to take charge of our homosexual issue to make the change we want possible in His time for we cannot do it on our own.
When I had my first sexual encounter, I have felt a sudden guilt. My conscience told me it was wrong and that's the role of our conscience; to make rightful judgment with what we're doing. I just tend to ignore it because I let my flesh desires to take over me and control me for the past 6 or 7 years. Simply I did not obey God and still continued to indulge in lots of casual sex and look what I've got, HIV. It's ok coz it's a consequence of my wrong actions and I need to take responsibility for it, all of us need to. At first I must admit that I have blamed God for letting this to happen and ruined my whole life, but now that I have become a Christian I realized that if only I did not disobeyed Him this horrendous thing would not happen.
Having said that, obedience is also submission. We all know from the start that we should follow God's commandments and His words; instead we opted to live with the standards of this world. We tend to take control of our lives and make self-rule. Based on my experience, my self was not a good ruler and I have learned that our self-rule is far more destructive than our sexual entanglements. Probably you cannot see this for now coz you might be successful or relatively happy as a gay person; but this the reason why God allows us to wallow in our sin until we come to the end of ourselves. That was exactly what happened to me.
Submission is also to acknowledge that we are all God's property; unless you believe that you have evolution from a monkey that I cannot force you. Since we're His property, our lives are His problem and not ours. We stop controlling our lives and letting Him to be responsible for it. It does not mean avoiding responsibility to our selves but it is trusting God.
This may sound scary for you but its quite understandable for stepping into an unknown area is really uncomfortable and really scary. But why do we resist absolute submission to God and refuse Him to allow directing our lives according to His plan? We don't fully trust God and we are sinners. We don't want to give up sex, going to gay bars, watching gay porn movies, cruising in malls or parks and other things we love to do even though we're aware that it was wrong. In short, we want to settle for garbage. These things do not make me really happy and you can ask yourself, so I am trying my best now to avoid all of these. We are worried coz we think that if we do submit ourselves to God and walk with Him, we will have an unhappy life. Well, I cannot say that I am happy now but I can say that I have never felt free and peaceful in my entire life as an adult. Probably because I have some issues that I need to resolve but I am alright and not sad. If you submit to the Lord and obey Him, it means returning some of the love God has showered on us.
So what will happen when you submit? Will you always walk in victory? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. Some have surrendered to the Lord and have never again engaged in homosexual practices or any sexual activities, it was final. God took control, and although they felt temptation from time to time, the power to resist was there in ample proportions; temptation had lost its control. This is true coz sometimes I get tempted to hook up but for some reason, I will avoid it in the end so I won't do it.
Not only are we to submit to God but to His representatives as well like our pastors or spiritual counselors. It's important that we hold accountability to others for they are part of the church that will help us to make this change possible.
Look, all of us will be called by God at a certain point of our life. It's up to us if we're going to respond whether we will accept Him and walk with Him or not. When that time comes, you cannot bypass submission and go on your independent way. Submission is death to self-interest and birth to God's interests. As we build a love relationship with God, obedience will flow from that relationship.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Homosexuality Part 11
The Belief Principle
When you have decided to change and leave homosexuality, you have to believe in yourself that you can do this through God and not with just your own self. After you have received God's forgiveness and accepted Him as your personal Lord and Savior, you have to believe that the change you want is possible. You need to have faith and hope in yourself and in God; yeah I know it sounds easy to say than done but for me it's the only choice I've got if I want to live a happy and normal life. If Frank Worthen have done it, so can I and you.
You need to believe that God has really spoken about homosexuality as a sin. If you are going to open up your bible and read Leviticus and Corinthians, you will find that it is mentioned there a couple of times so believe that it is indeed a sin. I always go back to this bible verses which I mentioned in my previous postings, every time I am being tempted to think about having sex with a guy. Then I will pray that God will continue to protect me.
You also need to know that belief comes from a simple hope, a hope that things might possibly change. If that hope grows, it will become reality. We do not have what it takes to bring it about only if we will place it on Jesus. Hey! I really hate to sound or read so preachy or religious but this is a serious matter. When something is serious, most of the time we turn to Him especially if it is a matter of life and death. So I guess you better live with it man!
In the health services field, it is known that a severely ill patient who is filled with hope has a better chance of survival than a slightly ill patient who is depressed and has lost all hope. Believe it for it's true.
When I have accepted Jesus Christ into my life and asked Him to take charge, I know that I have to change my lifestyle and abandon homosexuality. Did I turn from homosexual to a straight guy in a matter of a few minutes? No, but the foundation was laid and I was filled with hope. I have experienced the changes in me when the Holy Spirit began to work within me. Whether you believe it or not, my sexual desire with men became less that I can manage now to turn away from them when they approach me. Yeah I still tend to get attracted to good looking guys especially with well-built physique but it's just end there. I can now resist the temptation to pursue them and simply just walk away. One day I believe that my prayers to God of changing my view with men will happen.
If you have decided to change but do not believe that it is impossible because of the temptations out there, then it will not going to happen. Disbelief will block all the changes we want to take place and at the same time, it also blocks all that God wants to do in our lives.
Be firm in your belief especially during the tough times for it tests our faith that we can do this with Him. Trusting God with our lives, being assured that change will come and that God will do what the world considers impossible is the kind of belief that you and I should have.
When you have decided to change and leave homosexuality, you have to believe in yourself that you can do this through God and not with just your own self. After you have received God's forgiveness and accepted Him as your personal Lord and Savior, you have to believe that the change you want is possible. You need to have faith and hope in yourself and in God; yeah I know it sounds easy to say than done but for me it's the only choice I've got if I want to live a happy and normal life. If Frank Worthen have done it, so can I and you.
You need to believe that God has really spoken about homosexuality as a sin. If you are going to open up your bible and read Leviticus and Corinthians, you will find that it is mentioned there a couple of times so believe that it is indeed a sin. I always go back to this bible verses which I mentioned in my previous postings, every time I am being tempted to think about having sex with a guy. Then I will pray that God will continue to protect me.
You also need to know that belief comes from a simple hope, a hope that things might possibly change. If that hope grows, it will become reality. We do not have what it takes to bring it about only if we will place it on Jesus. Hey! I really hate to sound or read so preachy or religious but this is a serious matter. When something is serious, most of the time we turn to Him especially if it is a matter of life and death. So I guess you better live with it man!
In the health services field, it is known that a severely ill patient who is filled with hope has a better chance of survival than a slightly ill patient who is depressed and has lost all hope. Believe it for it's true.
When I have accepted Jesus Christ into my life and asked Him to take charge, I know that I have to change my lifestyle and abandon homosexuality. Did I turn from homosexual to a straight guy in a matter of a few minutes? No, but the foundation was laid and I was filled with hope. I have experienced the changes in me when the Holy Spirit began to work within me. Whether you believe it or not, my sexual desire with men became less that I can manage now to turn away from them when they approach me. Yeah I still tend to get attracted to good looking guys especially with well-built physique but it's just end there. I can now resist the temptation to pursue them and simply just walk away. One day I believe that my prayers to God of changing my view with men will happen.
If you have decided to change but do not believe that it is impossible because of the temptations out there, then it will not going to happen. Disbelief will block all the changes we want to take place and at the same time, it also blocks all that God wants to do in our lives.
Be firm in your belief especially during the tough times for it tests our faith that we can do this with Him. Trusting God with our lives, being assured that change will come and that God will do what the world considers impossible is the kind of belief that you and I should have.
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