Sexual Healing

This book written by David Kyle Foster is truly a biblical guide to finding freedom from sexual sin and brokenness!

He talked about the specific sexual sin areas such as the cause of homosexuality confusion, child sexual abuse, sexual addiction, pornography and masturbation. Also he discussed what brings healing to all this sexual brokenness. These comprise the second part of the book.

Laying the foundations for healing sexual brokenness was covered on the first part as well as the root sources for aberrant sexual development and the divine intent for sexuality.

I was appalled by the revelations I got for myself while reading it. First, I know I am living under grace but not completely to my astonishment! For more than two years of my journey with Christ, I've been praying for deliverance from this struggle and purity when actually I don't really and utterly want it. This explains my habit of entertaining good looking guys and past unforgettable sexual encounters occasionally in my head as well as the hidden desire to try other "stuff which I have not tried" on sex before changing fully. What a self-deception!

Second, I have finally acknowledged that I am obeying God because I was supposed to and not because I wanted to. This is being performance oriented rather than living totally by His grace!

Lastly, this book made me comprehend what idolaters really is and why do we keep giving in to temptations with those foolish and unequivocally non-biblical justifications for those actions. Now I know what God truly is saying in Romans 1:22-28 and why I keep on falling. This realization was intensified with last Sunday's preaching about "Lordship", that Jesus must be the only one Lord of our life. He must not be contending with others especially with our own selves!

Evidently, God revealed all these things to me and I was bewildered and feel so lost at first. But I am glad He did and I am thankful because now I have changed my prayer and became more conscious if what I am saying to God is actually what's inside my heart. I am asking Him to renew a steadfast spirit within me and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me and change wholly, Psalms 51:10-12.

I have decided to believe in God's grace and live out of it instead of just trying to perform to earn God's favor by trying to obey Him because I want to. As a Christian, all my actions and decisions must be simply motivated by love, love for our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

With faith and hope, one day I believe God will deliver me completely from this SSA struggle, from this brokenness and any related "dirty habit" that I will not go back. Those toxic, filthy rags I'd been holding onto will be replaced with something that is infinitely more valuable such as a glorious robe of righteousness.

The prime directive in accomplishing this is developing an intimate relationship with God. In that place of intimacy, God reveals to us the hidden mysteries of bondage and imparts power to us to overcome sin. I already have experienced this. I just need to strengthen it and choose to love Jesus more. In God's perfect time, I will become the man that He wanted me to be in the name of Jesus.

God is a God of second chances. 2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9.

Video Testimony

Last week I had a shoot for my video testimony. The youth Pastor who happens to be my friend was the one who did the shoot as well as the editing.

When we're done, it was inordinately long for me to be mitigated to less than 10 minutes. Virtually, it was my entire life story.

The video was shown last Sunday, Palm Sunday to be exact, to the whole congregation but I believe 10-20 percent of the total members were not there. It was my first time to go on public sharing my whole life on a video! I have disclosed my past, my SSA struggle and HIV status to my church! But the best part of it I infer was that, they can see how God is working in my life and gradually transforming me to become the man He desired me to be!

After the video, I was called by our Pastor in front to say something and I have uttered a little prayer for me and for the church with thanksgiving to God the Father. It was my way of giving back the honor, praises and glory to my Creator.

A lot of people were blessed and some of them have approached me after the service which helped to obliterate the edginess I felt prior to and after showing the video.

The enemy (Satan) is absolutely not happy with what I have done. Consequently I pray that the Lord will strengthen me to stand firm in Him and willfully be able to say NO to ungodliness all the time.

Honestly, I was bombarded with temptations the following day! Thank God that He gave me the grace and the will to act and say no to them (Phil. 2:13). It was arduous though I must admit but I am glad I did! Truly His grace is sufficient and is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

I just hope and pray also that those people who have watched and listened to my video testimony were inspired with the HOPE I have shown in JESUS! After all, it was a message from the "Man of Hope".

When Crisis Hits You

This book by William B. Girao talks about tasting God's goodness in bitter times.

His journey with his wife in the midst of pain is truly inspiring! From the time they had found out that his wife got breast cancer up to the time when she was healed, you can see and feel God's presence that He's completely in control of the whole situation!

William also discussed on dealing with depression, facing painful situations and trusting the goodness of God all at the same time. He had presented great explanation as well on euthanasia and suicide on why it is not an option backed up with arguments from the Scriptures.

The reasons he had mentioned on why does God allow crisis into our lives have made me understood more the pain and struggles in my Christian journey and appreciate more Psalms 42, 43, 44 and 34.

The ingenuous and precise approach of the author made it easier to understand and read. Personally, I can relate to and feel blessed by this book.

God's Favor And Grace

This week is truly an awesome week for me! Once again I have proven that God is faithful and good all the time.

First and foremost, I believe the Lord had just opened a door for me when He allowed me to share a bit of my life through 700 Club. Even it did not turn out the way I expected it, I am convinced that it's just how God exactly planned it. Mari Kaimo interviewed me and then Peter Kairuz, together with the other guests and staff prayed for me after the show. It will be shown on Monday via QTV at 11PM.


Secondly, God revealed to me how powerful the "Our Father" prayer is and why the Lord Jesus Christ taught that prayer to us. Darrell W. Johnson's "Fifty-Seven Words That Change The World" is a book, a journey through the Lord's Prayer. Only if we will utter it before His throne with a pure heart, it covers everything and could really change this world we are living in! So now I have decided to end my conversation with God with these words.

And lastly but the best thing that ever happened to me, God the Father had opened surprisingly an opportunity for me to share my faith in Jesus to my family especially to my earthly Father! Finally, I was able to tell almost everything I have always wanted to say to my "Tatay" and I strongly believed that my relationship with him just started to be restored! He gave me the fatherly embrace and kiss I've never had! We we're able to forgive each other and say I love you at last!

The life with my family will never be the same again. The Lord pulled down the biggest stronghold which kept our emotions for quite some time. Now that my father just turned 60, he sworn to us that He'll try his best to change and be good. I suggested him to yield that decision to Jesus and allow Him to take control.

I know that the ultimate salvation of my whole family is coming very soon! God's favor and grace is obviously upon me these days and all I can say is PRAISE GOD! YOU are absolutely in control.

The Battleground of Mind

According to the book written by Francis Frangipane entitled "The Three Battlegrounds" there are three arenas of spiritual warfare; the mind, the church and the heavenly places. Let me share what God taught me with the battleground of mind.

My friend counselor asked me to read this book when I confessed to him the recent sins I have committed which happened early last month. Well I'm quite over it for more than three weeks now, thank God for His grace and mercy! He said that everything starts in the mind so he lent me this book and I have learned a lot!

Victory begins with the name of Jesus on our lips. It is consummated by the nature of Jesus in our hearts.

I have learned that as a Christian, the goal is Christ-likeness and not warfare. We are called to be transformed into Christ's likeness and not for anything else. It will start with an honest heart before God and maintaining it which is the greatest defense we can have against the devil. Therefore it's being humble at all times. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, James 4:6. Then in verse 7 it continues, "Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." Humility is the first step for it is the stronghold of the godly.

When the enemy (Satan) accuses us of some sin or flaw, agree with thine adversary then turn to God in humility. Satan fears virtue so he is terrified of humility for it is submission to the Lord.

Pulling down all the strongholds is the demolition and removal of these old ways of thinking so that the actual Presence of Jesus Christ can be manifested through us. In doing this we need to take every thought captive to Christ to the obedience of Him, 2 Cor. 10:5. Arrest the thought "I am just a sinner!" by replacing it with the confession of our faith that now we are a beloved child of God and though we occasionally still sin, Christ's blood cleanses us of all unrighteousness through confession, 1 John 1:9. We are a new creation for the old has gone and the new has come, 2 Cor. 5:17.

Focusing on God's highest purpose will bring us peace during the warfare for God is a God of peace and it will soon crush Satan under our feet, Rom. 16:20; only then we can rule in the midst our enemies!

Let us pray: "Lord Jesus, I submit to You. I declare, according to the Word of God, that because of Your power to subject all things unto Yourself, the weapons of my warfare are mighty to the pulling down of strongholds (2 Cor. 10:3-4). I repent for using the lie, "I will never be like Jesus," as an excuse to sin and compromise my convictions. In Jesus' name I renounced my flawed, sinful old nature and, by the grace of God and the power of Your Spirit, I pull down the stronghold of unbelief that exists in my mind. Because of the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ, I am a new creation. And I believe that I will go from glory to glory, being continually transformed into Christ's image as I walk with God in Jesus name I pray. Amen."

I copied this prayer from the book and have decided to apply what I have learned; praying not to fall on the same sin over and over again and that the victory in me will be consummated by Jesus' nature in my heart.

Remember, victory begins with the name of Jesus on our lips. It is consummated by the nature of Jesus in our hearts.

I Am 33 Today!

Yes my dear readers and followers, I just turned 33 years old today and I am happy so you can simply greet me "Happy Birthday!"

All I can say is God has been so good and faithful to me and He will stay that way forever. Last time I talked about the blessings I have received from Him in spite of my iniquities. Today, the Lord simply showed me how blessed I am with the people He sent to love me.

My mother had prepared and ordered some food to share for celebration. My cousins and my older brother's family were my only home visitors. A lot of my friends from church, office and former work and classmates greeted me either through phone text messages, email, face book or my other personal website. It feels good to be remembered and feel loved on this special day.

I thank God for all the blessings and for the 33 years gift of life. Although the birthday requests and prayers I have been praying for remains unanswered, I strongly believed that I will received them in His perfect timing. Actually I asked for a Mac book pro laptop and the full scholarship grant for the AIDS conference in Vienna among others from God so let's wait and see.

But imperatively, God has reminded me today about my real purpose in this life; that I might come into Christ likeness. This is the goal of my faith in Him to be victorious for victory begins with the name of Jesus on our lips and will be consummated by the nature of Jesus in our hearts!

Today also marked the second year anniversary of this blog, the online personal journal of mine. I am so glad that it has been reached by many and feel so blessed to have followers who are praying for or with me and became my online friends. Thank you guys!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose, Romans 8:28.

God bless you all and shalom!

Shower of Blessings

"When it rains it pours." That's very true whether you would like to use it on something good or bad and I am referring it to the blessings God has been pouring out upon me.

The memories I have in Bangkok are still fresh. The things I need to pay were all paid; this is the area where I have proved that God truly knows the exact timing. I am only a few weeks away to be on board on the job I have been prayed for and still praying about.

God has given me another opportunity to bless more people when I get to share my testimony through this TV program, I don't know when it will be aired but I was set for an interview this Friday.

But the most important gift I have received from the Lord.......the result of my VL or viral load test is now UNDETECTED! I got this news from my doctor friend last week. God is truly healing me, He's my real doctor!

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart", Psalm 37:4. My heartfelt thanks go to our Heavenly Father for answering my prayers and for all these blessings. In spite of my shortcomings and iniquities, He remains faithful and will always be.

Praise be to God!