The Waiting is Over

Yes it's over praise the Lord!

First I have written about "The Adversity of Waiting" followed by "While I'm Waiting", and now I can't believe that my waiting is finally over!

Exactly three months after this job has been offered to me and six months after I have submitted my application on line, I will be starting next month. I believe this is God's perfect timing and I surmise He thinks I am ready now to take this job for His kingdom. God is simply the best!

God taught me a lot of things on this season of waiting and idleness. I have learned to be more patient. I have learned to trust Him more. Also I deemed God has increased my faith in Him through this period of my life. But I believe the best thing He taught me was; He is truly faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. (Psalms 145:13)

Be still and know that He is God (Psalms 46:10) for great is His love towards us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. (Psalms 117:2)

Lord, you're simply amazing! Thank you for creating this job for me and at the same time for giving me an opportunity to serve you through this work ministry. Praise you Lord Jesus Christ!

The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

While I'm Waiting

If you have seen the movie "Fireproof", which was recently shown in HBO Asia for a week, you'll be familiar with this song. I fell in love with it the first time I heard and listened to it. I was and still deeply moved by its message.

Currently where I am right now, I sing this song to myself while waiting for some of the God's promises in my life. Waiting is not easy. Time like this is probably one of the favorite times of enemy to work on especially when you're idle and bored but have to be still and trust God. You will understand more if you read my previous blog prior to this one.

By the way, I was able to spend time with my pastor who also happens to be my covering and accountability in the church. We had a great time and God gave me the grace to be brutally honest with him with all I've been through since the last time we talked. Although we did not have the regular Saturday meeting at Bagong Pag-asa, my two friends and I were able to hang out together and had good fellowship.

I believe this period of waiting for this job is God's answer when I prayed about increasing my faith in Him. It seems like He wanted me to wait and hang on for a little while and have faith in Him. Well I am enjoying my time relaxing (perhaps nearly all forms of it which I really enjoy and like) at home with my family and spending more time with God so it is actually a blessing.

As for my health, I am very well except for this slight back pain on the right side. I have time to do my routine work out every morning and will try to increase the crunches I make to have those six pack abs again which I used to have. With undetected viral load and high CD4 count, I do not have to visit my doctor that often. God is good!

After writing "The Adversity of Waiting" previously, I realized that there's also a good side of it; only if you utilize it with things that are pleasing to God, to others and to yourself. My friends says that I have to enjoy a period like this for God is preparing me for a huge work that I will find little time doing these activities I am presently doing.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Psalms 34:8

http://vimeo.com/3768562 or http://www.myspace.com/johnwaller or



Above is the URL for the video of this song and the video in case you want to see it. God bless to all! Shalom!

The Adversity of Waiting

It's been 3 months now since this job I've applied and prayed for was offered to me back in Bangkok.

The person in charge flew to Thailand then from the country where he is based to personally talk to me about it and I was very excited because I felt like God created this job and have chosen me to specifically do this work for his kingdom.

A week after I came home I was phone interviewed by him just to formally go through with the process and was informed to be notified in a month regarding the status of my application. It is the normal time frame for international job application according to him.

One month had lapsed and I never heard anything from them. God can give anything to us but He can also take them away anytime He wants. I have been thinking whether God was just teaching me to be patient or He decided to take this job away from me because of the sexual fall I had back in Bangkok or of the sinful desires in my heart which kill me everyday. These are the things that were going through in my head. Good thing I was busy doing the Hope ministry, doing interviews and meetings and attending trainings then.

Another month had passed and this time I was and still busy doing nothing, idle and getting a little impatient. And then I received an email from my contact person that I still need to wait a call now from the HR at the local office here in the country. Two weeks of waiting went by and the same things I mentioned above keep going through my mind. Actually it got worst that somehow I became a bit sloppy with my walk and fell into sexual sin again. Honestly, I really felt bad even after my confession to God and asked for His forgiveness. My accountability partners and pastor won't be happy about this.

Now I've got no choice but to stay with Jesus although I failed him once again, pray and still wait. I do not know but I feel like God is playing with me. I truly feel awful about myself because of what happened, a little edgy and frustrated. I feel like God is taking this job away from me. Will God simply do that because of my stupid mistake? Is our Father like that? Do you think He'll do that as a consequence?

Frankly speaking, I deem of letting go and take control of things but I am well aware that this is wrong. This is not God-dependence. I have to convince myself that this is another test of faith and continue clinging on to Jesus albeit I don't feel like it no matter what.

In my two years and five months Christian journey, I have been fed and learned a lot from my pastors, counselors, friends, Christian books, trainings, seminars, ministry and especially from God's word. The only thing left are the proper application of these knowledge.

Truly from with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief, Ecclesiastes 1:18.

Basta Lovelife

This book by Kuya Kevin is all about making wise relationship decision. I believe this is his first published book here in the country.

Kevin Sanders answers virtually all the most frequently asked questions about love, sex and relationships. Each topic or subjects were presented in a short but very clear way that you can finish reading the whole book in one sitting. It was done very nicely I must say, very easy to read and comprehend.

Here you will understand how's a man or woman should be in a relationship. He talks about the male sex drive, common mistakes women commit, why self control is important and why purity really matters, and other relationship issues.

You can also find ways on how to overcome rejection and break-up and other relationship dilemmas. Kevin also talked about lifestyle issues such as on-line dating, living in and same sex relationships, the truth behind all these things.

In short, it can be a guide on how to have a Christ centered relationship. Yes, the bottom line, loving God first and having an intimate relationship with Jesus by obeying Him for you to have a God-centered relationship. A relationship that is blessed and according to His will.

So get your copy now! Be pure, be wise and be blessed like what Kuya Kevin said!

Nazirite Phase 3 - Hunger

I am grateful to God for He allowed me to attend the third installment of this training by my pastor held in Baguio City at PBTS last week.

Getting more intimate with God and hungry with Him is the key principle of this phase. Real fasting and praying, intercession and worshiping, meditating on God's word were some of the significant things I have learned which must be a lifestyle of a true follower of Jesus Christ. First phase started with humility all the time followed by holiness, which by the way the greatest experience I had on this training, and then intimacy with our Creator through Jesus.

Honestly, I never really had an encounter with God during this phase unlike in holiness where God had truly spoken to me as early on our first night. My pastor told me then it was the best testimony he ever heard from me because I uttered words of encouragement to young people. I remember I was very inspired by the Holy Spirit while delivering those words. It was also the time when my feelings for this beautiful lady became passionate. By the way, the last time I checked she's getting married late this year. I never got the chance to tell her how I feel. Obliviously she's hurting me but I am alright, God shielded my heart from too much pain.

The best thing that happened to me on this training was when the boys of the participants, mostly member of our church worship team, asked me to join them on their bonding moments. I really felt I belong to this group of male, just one of the boys having fun! They did not treat me as "gay" but as their respected older brother instead! It feels great to be just one of the guys praise the Lord!

Now we're closer and have more passion for Jesus! What a wonderful experience back there, thanks to Him!

When I got back to Manila, I was put to test by the enemy but God's grace is sufficient for me to choose Him over the temptations he had set. It was hard I must admit but God will always provide a way out. All I have to do is to decide to get out.

It's time to put into practice everything I have learned from the beginning and live the Nazirite lifestyle, walking in humility and holiness very intimately with God.

Learning The Hard Way

Honestly, I am not fond of reading true to life stories before. When I became a Christian I have read the amazing stories from the likes of Brother Yun, Franklin Graham, Dennis Byrd and a few others.

Knowing how God had moved to the lives of His people got my interest in reading them now. The miracles, the healing and the unimaginable twist and turns God allowed in someone's life bring inspiration and help my faith to grow more and cling into Jesus steadfastly.

This book by Kuya Kevin Sanders is a compilation of stories contributed by Filipinos. The lives of these people had been touched by God in different ways but shared with one denominator, falling into sexual sin.

Sexual sin does not come in one form and there are many factors around us that could put anyone at risk of falling into it when the person is oblivious and imprudent. The body is not meant for sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:13) but for the Lord. God is abounding in love but also just and definitely there are consequences for all our sinful actions and most of it is severe.

There are eighteen heart breaking testimonies where you can learn from on this book. But moreover, you can see God's goodness and faithfulness when they started to yield their circumstances to Jesus. God is truly a God of second chances and real hope can only be found in Jesus!

This book also speaks about the reality that is happening inside our churches. It only shows that Christians are really not immune to temptations or sins and also capable of making wrong decisions. Disobeying God or living a life without Him could definitely lead into catastrophe. But what matters most is how you get up after falling just to continue the race God asked us to run, an attitude reflected in virtually all the stories here.

My favorite stories are "Sexual Sin and Stronghold" and "Confessions of a Porn Addict". Not only I can relate to these people but I was simply amazed on how God turned their lives around. My story was featured last entitled "Living with HIV". It's available at PCBS, National Bookstore and Power books.

"Our journey is one of faith. The Lord's glory is often hidden from our sight. While it may seem dark as we struggle along the darkness can also be a door into union with the Lord if we allow Him to walk with us in our journey. Walking with Him gives us hope and peace."

Ministry and Me

It's been more than six months since I've got a regular job. But the good news is that God remains faithful, and will always be, when it comes to my daily needs and in answering my prayers even the small ones.

Somehow the Lord loves keeping me busy with the ministry He had entrusted me especially the past week.

Last Thursday, I went to the hospital to get my ARV and checked out the result of my latest CD4 count; from 448 it had increased to 521!

After that, I met Kuya Kevin and recorded a radio (podcast) interview with him on his program "Basta Love Life". I am a follower of his blog but it was the first time I personally saw him. He's an incredibly wonderful guy with a heart for young Filipinos. To listen to that interview and know Kuya Kevin more, you can click the links below.

http://kuyakevin.libsyn.com
KuyaKevin.com

My doctor and I, together with the other facilitator, had conducted the two day COH workshop to her (my doctor) church. She's so happy that it finally happened and God truly moved the hearts of the participants!

Two days ago I had attended my first HIV summit in Manila. It was nice to see good friends I have not seen for a long time there and meet new people working in the HIV and AIDS ministry.

Lastly yesterday, I gave an orientation of "Channels of Hope" program to the youth of this church in northern Manila. The response was great and I think they have enjoyed it.

After that, I had decided to go home and take some rest. I was able to finish Kuya Kevin's "Learning the Hard Way" book while in the bus on my way home. The last story featured was mine (Living with HIV) and I'll be fair with my review which I will post here soon.

These are all great blessings from God and words are not enough to thank Him. But thanksgiving to God must be never ending (1 Thessalonians 5:18) so thank you Lord and praise you!

I am excited with the amazing things God is about to do next! He's simply the best!