Strength in Weakness

This book by Andrew Comiskey is about healing sexual and relational brokenness.

I did not understand most part of the book the first time I read it more than a year ago so I read it again and I have understood it all this time thank God. What really amazing was when I am reading the last part of the author's afterword, I felt like its God who's really speaking to me. Before I knew it, my eyes were filled tears and my heart was full of joy and peace.

Allow me to share these words spoken by God to Andrew first prior to me.

"When you were young, you thought you could leap over every boundary line and get away with it. Even when the pain of your rebellion became apparent to you, you denied it. Only when the effects of sin showed themselves did you slow down long enough to listen?

I led you to my Son, Jesus Christ, who from His cross released a flood of healing - blood for the forgiveness of sin and water for cleansing. When you called on His name, I loosed that cleansing flood over you. I sent faithful Christians to abide with you as that healing stream permeated every source of sin and shame. You, your old man, your old vision of yourself, died in the waters, and I raised you up in new life.

Not only were your sins washed away, but I also cleansed your wounds. I gently bound up the brokenness inflicted on you. I washed away the shame you carried through others' rejection and abuse.

And I freed you to be weak before me and others, not hard and defensive nor brash and foolish. I freed you to enter my pool of mercy again and again to receive grace to help you in your weakness. You learned to walk free from the shame and to receive mercy from fellow Christians as from my hand. And you grew and gained a vision of how my strength is available to you in your weakness.

Every step of the way I am with you. I know you are still weak. You still walk with a limp, a reminder of what I have saved you from and what I have saved you for - to call to others into the river so that they too can arise as members of my healing army. But I have trained and still training you to rely upon me and I have strengthened you at every step.

Give freely to others the grace in which I have immersed you. Raise high the cross for all to see, for from my cross I release the cleansing, healing flood that is the hope for humanity. Only here can sin and shame and wounding be dissolved. Only here can my people be strengthened in their weakness and become fruitful agents of my kingdom. Only here can my sons and daughters learn how to love well, even as I have loved them."

Honestly I feel like crying again as I type these words. This book is a must read for those who want to have a comprehension of true healing from sexual and relational brokenness.

Men, women, all of our struggles such as homosexuality or any addictions, and the church when laid at the cross will surely give us strength to love well, strength to leave shame behind, strength to overcome sin and strength in weakness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9

Skywalk Extreme Cebu & COH

Two weeks ago I was in Cebu for the second time with my team mates at work. We attended this trainer's training on Gender.

It was great for we all have learned a lot and had a great fellowship at the same time. The team went to Casa Verde and had our dinner! The food and the strawberry kiss drink taste really delicious at a low price.

My friend and I decided to take the Skywalk Extreme at Crown Regency Hotel. As expected, it was nerve-wracking but a wonderful experience to see the beauty of the city from the top at night!

Then last Thursday and Friday, the fourth (if I am not mistaken) "Channels of Hope" or COH, the workshop on HIV and AIDS for churches and faith based organization or FBOs, for the staff and church partners took place. Eighteen new "channels of hope" went home blessed and inspired with new hearts and attitudes for the infected and affected by the pandemic!

Once again, God have shown His faithfulness for taking control of everything and His goodness for all these blessings! Praise God and thank you so much for the opportunity to serve and glorify your grace through this ministry!

Underground River Palawan

It was my second time to visit the province of Palawan last week. The purpose of my trip there was to learn about breast feeding and HIV and behavioral change communication as part of my capacity building for my work.

The Lord was so good to bless us by allowing the group to see and experience the infamous subterranean river of Palawan or most commonly known as the "underground river".

You will wonder how those conical hanging pillar in a limestone cave has gradually built up or formed called stalactites. The forms and shapes amazed me. You will see a figure like that of the holy family, giant mushroom, a bacon liked shape, an onion liked form and many other shapes and figures depending on how you will apparently view it.

The trip alone on the river trekking inside the cave took us less than hour. From Puerto Princessa City, approximately it will take 90 minutes to 2 hours to go to Sabang and then you will take a 10-15 minutes boat ride to that side of the mountain where the underground river is situated.

With so much learning and information I have acquired from the training which will be truly helpful on my work, I feel so knowledgeable with the topic. And at the same I was blessed to see the beauty of this God's wonderful creation, it's an answered prayer and a dream come true.

I thank God for allowing me to serve Him through this ministry that comes with the opportunity to visit and see various parts of this country and later on outside the Philippines. Lord you're simply amazing!

Again?

Honestly, I was really hesitant if I'll write about this here or not. Perhaps I am afraid what people who read and follow my blog might think or say about me.

But then it does not matter because first and foremost, this is my personal journal and I am doing this for God. He knew it anyway and I'm accountable to Him prior to anyone. I just want to share how I feel after I fell again sexually last week.

Instead of guilt, what I felt was rage against me. I said "shit" several times to myself, cannot believed that I have done it again! In spite of God's goodness and being truthful to His promise, this was how I have treated Him back.

Then the Lord made me realized this. "Son it's just waiting to happen. You know very well in you heart and in your mind that you still have a plan to do it. You're holding on to the contacts of some few guys whom you'd like to meet and have it done with. Also you still want to go back to a couple of guys in your past even you already knew that it was wrong and will never satisfy your needs, only it will bring you back to your old self. Let them go and yield it to me my son. Do you want those promises to happen and eventually become a man I have always wanted you to be? Then let go and obliterate the things from your past and cease holding on to them. Or else, it will gradually pull you down and separates us."

God has forgiven me graciously I know. Almost I heard Him audibly just to help me realized that. Truly there's nothing we can conceal from God. This directed me to destroy the things I am holding on to which could lead me into sexual sin. It includes deleting the contacts and changing my other number. Temptations I've been facing everyday merely just from walking off to work or in mall are strenuous already and holding on to such things and making it an option is too much.

Sometimes I cry out to Jesus to help me find a joy in carrying this daily cross of mine, denying myself and dying to all of my homosexual desires. The Lord knows how much I've wanted to stop, not to fall to any sexual sin over and over again. Avoid looking at it as an option whenever I feel vulnerable (feels alone, tired and sad) and utilize the authority, the strength He has bestowed upon me over this weakness. So I offer this prayer to our Heavenly Father which He has shown me during one of my daily devotion.

"Heavenly Father, I desire to walk in purity with you. Fill me with Your holiness as I pursue a life that is free of sexual sin, in Jesus name Amen."

COH Zamboanga

Praise God for another successful "Channels of Hope" workshop!

It was held last week in Zamboanga City to train the people working with this NGO including the church partners and a few brothers from the Muslim community.

This was truly a remarkable event because it's the first time I have experienced and witnessed where Christians and Muslims joined together and really getting along well! Also it was the biggest number of participants we handled so far, a total number of 36.

Once again, these new group of people were blessed by God's grace, love, goodness and faithfulness in my life as I have shared my testimony with them. I gained new friends too. It was my first time in this western part of Mindanao and I thank the Lord for He allowed us to visit some places, experienced the "barter trade", and taste some of their native food.

What a great way to start my first day on this new job! God is simply the best!

The Waiting is Over

Yes it's over praise the Lord!

First I have written about "The Adversity of Waiting" followed by "While I'm Waiting", and now I can't believe that my waiting is finally over!

Exactly three months after this job has been offered to me and six months after I have submitted my application on line, I will be starting next month. I believe this is God's perfect timing and I surmise He thinks I am ready now to take this job for His kingdom. God is simply the best!

God taught me a lot of things on this season of waiting and idleness. I have learned to be more patient. I have learned to trust Him more. Also I deemed God has increased my faith in Him through this period of my life. But I believe the best thing He taught me was; He is truly faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. (Psalms 145:13)

Be still and know that He is God (Psalms 46:10) for great is His love towards us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. (Psalms 117:2)

Lord, you're simply amazing! Thank you for creating this job for me and at the same time for giving me an opportunity to serve you through this work ministry. Praise you Lord Jesus Christ!

The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

While I'm Waiting

If you have seen the movie "Fireproof", which was recently shown in HBO Asia for a week, you'll be familiar with this song. I fell in love with it the first time I heard and listened to it. I was and still deeply moved by its message.

Currently where I am right now, I sing this song to myself while waiting for some of the God's promises in my life. Waiting is not easy. Time like this is probably one of the favorite times of enemy to work on especially when you're idle and bored but have to be still and trust God. You will understand more if you read my previous blog prior to this one.

By the way, I was able to spend time with my pastor who also happens to be my covering and accountability in the church. We had a great time and God gave me the grace to be brutally honest with him with all I've been through since the last time we talked. Although we did not have the regular Saturday meeting at Bagong Pag-asa, my two friends and I were able to hang out together and had good fellowship.

I believe this period of waiting for this job is God's answer when I prayed about increasing my faith in Him. It seems like He wanted me to wait and hang on for a little while and have faith in Him. Well I am enjoying my time relaxing (perhaps nearly all forms of it which I really enjoy and like) at home with my family and spending more time with God so it is actually a blessing.

As for my health, I am very well except for this slight back pain on the right side. I have time to do my routine work out every morning and will try to increase the crunches I make to have those six pack abs again which I used to have. With undetected viral load and high CD4 count, I do not have to visit my doctor that often. God is good!

After writing "The Adversity of Waiting" previously, I realized that there's also a good side of it; only if you utilize it with things that are pleasing to God, to others and to yourself. My friends says that I have to enjoy a period like this for God is preparing me for a huge work that I will find little time doing these activities I am presently doing.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Psalms 34:8

http://vimeo.com/3768562 or http://www.myspace.com/johnwaller or



Above is the URL for the video of this song and the video in case you want to see it. God bless to all! Shalom!