"HOPE" for Colleagues

Virtually it's been a month since the last time I have conducted the "Channels of Hope" workshop and somehow I am missing it.

Sharing God's goodness and faithfulness in my life to people especially to fellow brothers and sisters in Christ is one of the most rewarding and remarkable feeling as a child of God. It gave inspiration to people and strengthens their faith as well. Sometimes it becomes a reminder to others to examine their life and see how they are with the Almighty Father as well as their journey with Jesus.

The Lord did it once again to my colleagues at work in the past two days praise Him!

One participant said that what we're doing and have accomplished has freed them from the bondage of wrong beliefs! Also he said that it strengthens their faith as a Christian! What a wonderful experience for him! While others mentioned that it enlightened and humbled them in such a life-changing experience way!

Feedback like this put a smile on my face and joy in my heart which inspires me more to serve God's kingdom through this ministry. Thank you Lord for loving me and for giving my life a very beautiful purpose!

Congratulations to the 25 new "salt & light" of this earth especially to the darkness HIV and AIDS is causing!

Pleasure Idolatry

For the past few weeks, I have felt that I was drifting away from God. I have been immersed in God's ministry for a couple of years now or more. In fact I just started my two year contract with this organization to serve Him continuously on the HIV and AIDS Ministry. That made me even busier.

I said I felt I was slipping away from God because I have committed the same mistake again a few times during the same weak moments which I have been experiencing lately. The unworthy feeling and convictions I am feeling is awful and somewhat devastating.

"iCan" posted his thoughts on his blog which entitled "Idol" and he referred to ten but he focused on the one he can relate to. That is pleasure. His post have spoken to me simply because it made me realize that it is also becoming an idol of mine unaware even if I do or have done it occasionally!

Like the people of Israel who grew impatient and started to worship a "golden calf" idol made by them, I felt I am beginning to be like them. Sometimes I caught myself rationalizing and saying that probably it's alright to fall into a sin occasionally because I am serving God big time! How selfish I am to think that way!

Jesus Christ follower can not have both worlds. There are sacrifices must be made and those sacrifices out of love for God must be, will turn me into the person He intended me to be. It will only going to happen if I stay in the path and direction He set for me instead of slipping away to here and there. And idolatry to pleasure is not only a sin but also being foolish and selfish.

Work in process, I know I am still and most of us are in this situation. But I must learn how to control myself and thrive towards holiness and purity because our God is holy.

Let me borrow my friend's thoughts. I am so blessed to have a God who loves me enough to show my weaknesses and help me to want to give them to Him. It is a journey and I pray I will keep my eyes on God who knows me much better than I could ever know myself no matter what. God knows what I need. I am prone to think I know what I need but I certainly do not.

No longer can I still live my life without Jesus and no matter how many times I fail and fall, I will stand and ask God's forgiveness and then continue this journey with Him. This was also my Pastor's advice and my decision. I am a child of God and I am a Christian whatever happens!

God knows exactly when and where I will fall in the future whether through my SSA struggle or through my other area of weaknesses. Like I said in my previous posts of confessions, this maybe not the last time I will commit the same sin but I will continually hang on to His grace and mercy and pray for God's strength to win this battle in the midst of allowing Him to use this God given and very blessed life for His glory!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Psalm 40:1-3a.

Thank you Stanw for your post and God bless us! :)

COH in Cebu

It was my fourth time to visit the city and my second time to do the "Channels of Hope" or COH workshop in Cebu last week.

The first one was back in 2009 when I was part of training team to train the second batch of facilitators. This time, some of those new facilitators were now part of the team and most of them were their first time to practice what they have learned more than a year ago.

In spite of a big group of this health team from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, we have four sets of facilitators of three for four groups; everything went well for God was truly in control.

More than 120 participants have attended, were very blessed with the whole workshop and have become new "salt and light" for those people who needs it especially those infected and affected by the HIV pandemic.

I continually thank God and give back all the honor, glory and praises to Him for entrusting me this work and ministry despite of my weaknesses. Blessed be thy name Lord Jesus!

What's So Amazing About Grace?

Philip Yancey is the author of this book and I must say that its one of the best I've ever read. In fact it made me want to read the first book I read from him "The Jesus I Never Knew", which I have finished reading a couple of years ago.

We speak of God's grace often but when somebody ask us what is it, we usually have difficulty in defining and explaining what is it all about. When I became true Christian, I once asked about grace and the person I was speaking with told me that it is an "undeserved gift." It is a gift from our Heavenly father that we, as Christians must know and always ready to dispense.

This book gave me a deeper understanding of what grace is and with the examples given by Yancey such as the holocaust, his homosexual Pastor friend and the EDSA People Power to name a few, I cried a few times. That's how amazing this grace is!

It helped me to comprehend more of God's unconditional love and forgiveness. Two things that all people must experience to become a dispenser of this amazing gift in this world that knows far more of cruelty and unforgiveness than it does of mercy.

I really like Dostoevsky's words that he quoted which is "to love a person means to see him as God intended him to be". According to Yancey, true grace is scandalous and shocking for it forgives the unfaithful spouse, the racist, the child abuser. It loves today's AIDS-ridden addict as much as the tax collector of Jesus' day.

This book has been out there for quite a long time but I only read it last month thanks to my friend for lending it to me. I highly recommend this one because it is a must-read kind of book!

"There is nothing we can do to make God love us more.
There is nothing we can do to make God love us less."

God loves us already no matter what.....that's how amazing God's grace is!

COH Iloilo and My Struggle

It was my first time to visit Iloilo City last week and I got impressed with the place from the time I arrived at their new airport up to the point when I reached the hotel where I stayed for three nights.

The airport is small but nice then the road from there going to the city is well engineered, the same thing with the few infrastructures on its side. Although the city proper is a little congested but somehow I like it. The La Paz Batchoy tastes really great as well as the barquillos.

As for the COH workshop, it went very smoothly even though one of our facilitator was not able to join us due to her vertigo. God was totally in control. Thirty eight (38) new "channels of hope" were so blessed how God worked in my life. I am truly grateful to Him for allowing me to serve His kingdom in this ministry.

I just pray that God will continue to capture my heart with His love and give me a heart overflowing with love for Jesus! Also I pray that God will renew the burning passion in me that I used to have when I was still a new Christian so that this love and passion will be more than enough for me to say no to these temptations and ungodly desires. I must admit that I am still struggling with SSA and honestly I had a few (three I guess) occasional sexual fall for the past 3 months. It all happened when I was very really tired physically and mentally from work which I think hauled my guards down then against temptations, not to mention that there's still a part of me that wants to satisfy these sinful desires.

God has forgiven me already I know when I confessed and admitted it to Him not only once but many times. I cannot continue serving Him and sinning even occasionally at the same time. All I want is to love Him, honor and please Him, serve Him and live this God-given life truly worthy of His unconditional love.

Please pray for me my dear brothers and sisters in Christ as I continue to walk this journey with Him. Thank you and God bless us all.

Me In India

Yes, India is the third country I have visited and I must say that it's one of my best trips so far ministry-wise!

God sent me there not only to serve Him in the "Channels of Hope" ministry. He had shown me the end result of what I am doing for the churches and the beginning of a new journey for His people whom He had destined to change forever!

Once I questioned the Lord if this is the only thing I will do for His kingdom which is educating the church community on HIV and AIDS through COH and testifying to His amazing grace. And telling these people how He took me out of darkness, gradually healing and changing me. I got so excited when visiting a community where HOPE is being implemented was included on this trip.

This Pastor I've met was immediately woke up by God from a deep slumber and made him realize the role of the church after he have gone through the three day COH workshop. He called him to act and transform the lives of this certain group of people who are living in darkness for centuries! He took the children of this community in a child care center as the beginning of that transformation in partnership with our NGO counterpart there and introduced them who Jesus is by educating them in His words.

This community in Jaipur City celebrates when a baby girl is born because it is an assurance for them of monetary benefits by turning her into a commercial sex worker when puberty has reached. The women in that village, most of them are infected with HIV, are in prostitution and that's the only way they knew how to make ends meet.

I was deeply moved and can't help but to get too emotional while hearing this sad and heart breaking story from this Pastor that it pushed me to pray for him and his church afterward. Also I made a commitment to pray for them and for these people day and night as my initial contribution for the realization of this Pastor's vision. It was absolutely the highlight of this trip!

Indian people are really nice but this group of participants whom we have trained to be COH facilitators is really struggling on how to deal with the homosexuals! The discussions were intense that I took it as a sign from God to tell them how I am dealing with my struggle with same sex attraction or SSA with God and with my church as well, which I do not usually do for it is totally embarrassing on my part. But when God asked me to do so, who am I to say no? So I did and I'm glad that somehow I have shed some light on this matter to them.

They were so grateful to have met me and were so blessed at the same time and so did I. God and I have done a great job there and He's obviously doing wonderful things there!

I am so grateful to the Lord not only because of these moments, He also allowed us to see the city palaces and the beauty of their culture when we went to visit a few tourist destinations of Jaipur. Also I was able to ride on a camel for the first time! It was truly a remarkable and indeed a super blessed trip! Praise God!

After my virtually half month of stay in India, I took part on the two day workshop for my colleagues at the office when I got home. It has been really a fruitful month.

COH Davao and Samal Island

One of the largest groups we handled was the more than forty participants of the COH workshop last week held in Davao City.

The Lord allowed 34 of them to complete the two days orientation of "Channels of Hope". Once again, God brought together His people from Evangelical groups, Catholic and Muslim brothers to show them how to become the salt and light of this world for those who are infected and affected by HIV and AIDS.

For me it was one of the best testimonies I have delivered for the past two years I've been doing this. Not because virtually everyone in the room cried but mainly for the reason that God has truly touched their hearts either through conviction of their stigmatizing attitudes or simply blessed with how God's grace worked in my life! Only God, and them knows.

It was really an honor to testify to the gospel of God's grace and I am grateful to Almighty God for allowing me to be a witness in the HIV ministry!

God was so good to let us see and enjoy the beauty of Samal Island. We were able to relax at the beach after the workshop before going home.

I consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me, the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace, Acts 20:24.