D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Sunday, January 26, 2014

When God Prompted Me...and The Reality of His Love


Early last week, I gave a talk on Dealing with Disappointment at a camp of this Christian school of high school students, without much preparation (in cramming mode actually) and just letting and trusting God to lead. I have never planned to share how the Lord has called me through my testimony and just discuss the usual disappointments that young people encounters nowadays and explore the healthy ways of dealing with it. But God has His ways that is sometimes mysterious but this time, it was inevitably surprising! And it came towards the end of my talk when we were in time for questions.

When a student asked me "Sir, what your biggest disappointment in life is and how you were able to deal with it?" and immediately, I recognized that it was the Lord who prompted that question and urged me to share. Honestly I was not ready and like I have said it was not planned. So I paused for a very brief moment, hoping I was wrong but surely I was not hence, I did and we were all blessed! I must say that it was one of the shortest versions of my story I have ever did but I guess it was just enough. It was not an HIV&AIDS workshop anyway. I know and I am sure there were young people who were touched and really blessed if not all of them.

Truly the Lord never ceases to surprise me like that. Thank you Lord for reminding me that it is not my story to tell but only yours...not meant to be kept but share. Praise God!

The only challenge whenever God uses us for His kingdom is that the enemy is not happy with it. Therefore they will do whatever they can, targeting our ultimate weaknesses to destroy us and dishearten us with our journey with the Lord Jesus. They know exactly when and where to attack. What I am trying to say is that…after a little more than six years of being a Christian, I still struggle with SSA, sexual desires and other selfish stuff. Sometimes I am victorious but there are times I am not to be honest. But God is so merciful and abounding in grace. That even when I fail (or much better to admit I have sinned) and seemed unfaithful, He never fails and stay faithful. Hey, that’s the best way of dealing disappointments and failures…turning to Christ!

Oh dear Lord, thank you for stubbornly loving an unworthy person like me. Only You can truly change me so I will forever simply put my trust in you.