D R . E L R O I


Friday, December 25, 2009

Why Mary? Why Me? Why you?

Merry Christmas to all!

This could be my last blog post for this year so let me share the beautiful message to our church for this season which is aptly titled "Why God Chose Mary?"

God chose people according to His own purpose. It is not whom men choose but whom God chooses. God will choose people who will make a difference in your life. God is still choosing "Mary's" today, so why Mary? Why you or why me?

First, Mary established God-values in her life that were immovable. She has unquestionable values-convictions. According to my pastor, the following must be every Christians' convictions in life: the Bible will be my infallible guidebook for living, the main reason I exist is to serve God's purposes and it's not about me, God's plan are always better than my own, and obedience to God is what He will use to grow me and fulfill His best for my life.

Second, Mary was still in the process of learning more everyday. In Luke 1:34, her answer is "How can I cooperate with you?" She's willing to obey and she's prepared. God chooses those who are willing to obey even if they do not agree with Him. That is obedience. Pride is the greatest hindrance for us to be used by God.

Christians are both saved and being saved, still learning through convictions. We are saved and are still under God's work. We are all still being saved for new things are happening, Mary was not just saved but also still being saved that's why she could hear correctly from God. Probably you and I are in our situation because we heard from God before and we just obeyed.

I obeyed Him two years ago when He called me and now I am still learning and being saved. Happy birthday Lord Jesus Christ! Merry Christmas to everyone! God bless!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Water Baptism

Last Sunday, December 13 marked my second year as a Christian. Reminiscing the past two years of living for the Lord Jesus Christ, I realized that I have been through a lot.

The Lord had given me a ministry on HIV and AIDS which is the "Channels of Hope". He allowed me to speak before the young people in and out of the country. I have learned so many things from my SSA struggle which I am still scuffling with up to present. But most importantly, I have come to know God more through all of these and still in the process of knowing Him deeper and getting more intimate with the Lord Jesus Christ.

It was also a day for water baptism in our church. It's very timely for the celebration of my spiritual birth but I must admit that I was hesitant at first whether I am going to do it or not. I felt that I am not worthy of it because of the recent happenings in my Christian life. But praise the Lord for He made me realize once again who really I am for Him through the words I heard from my close Christian friends. In short, I have decided to be baptized that afternoon praying that God will truly renew my whole being, leaving my old self and living truthfully a new life.

Baptism is an act of obedience. The scripture said that it is dying to old way of living and being resurrected to a new life. When we are baptized we confirm externally that we are the beloved children of God and He takes pleasure in us. In short, it is a public declaration or confession of our faith in Jesus to all including the demons in this world and in the spiritual realm.

Testing of faith will surely come and I pray that God will strengthen me more to choose Him all the time.

By the way, I have made a decision to gradually stopped seeing and talking to this guy I have an ED with as my counselors, friends and Pastor told me. Yes it is quite difficult because of the compassion in my heart I have for him but it is the best for both of us. I will continue to pray for him that he will truly seek God so the change he wants to happen in his life will indubitably take place.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

ED or not ED?

"Let's not continue doing this, it will all over be the same again. It feels good and happy on the first few weeks but will end up sooner or later, with each other being left hurt and heart broken."

These are the words uttered by this guy to my surprise and astonishment in the middle of our cuddling and kissing that day. Oh yes! I almost did it again just the other day. This person is the same guy I have sinned with the third and last time. I met him during the HBC training and we became close friends. He was broken hearted then and need someone to talk to whom he can truly trust. I have offered because honestly, I am attracted to him. I took the chance to know him personally so the mystery of attraction will melt away like what I usually do. Unfortunately this time, it did not work. The more I get to know him, the more I want to be with him that's why since then we became closer. Lord knows I do not want this and I did not expect this to happen.

I have been through with the entire possible struggle that is sex related, from flirting to cruising, masturbation, voyeurism, casual sex and pornography. I never thought that I would have to go through with ED or emotional dependency as well because it is more difficult according to those who have experienced it. I surmise this friendship I have with him can possibly develop into that if I did not put some action plan to stop it. We're both happy when we're together and we miss each other when we're apart.

When I confessed this to one of my pastors and counselors from the church, he said I need to set some boundaries or limitations. Good thing that this friend of mine have made a stand that he don't want me to go back to my old life completely for him; that I am already on the right track of my life and happy with it. He's right with that because from the very beginning I already told him my stand on homosexuality, all the things I have learned why I am trying to live my life away from it and that I am a Christian who is currently going through the process of being change by God.

I think I am falling for him that's why that moment I think I am ready to go with him and backslide. He did not want that but instead, he wants me to fulfill the promises which God has made for me and stick with it.

My counselor advised me that I do not have to evade him completely. Since he made a stand, he believed that I can lead him to Christ only I need to control myself, set limitations and pray for him. I need to follow that because in the first place, the reason why I befriended this guy honestly is to show him that living and suffering for Christ is way much better than living in slavery.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians5:1. Gay lifestyle is living in slavery, sexual addiction, relationships and other habits which make the person more addicted to it, depressed and feeling empty in the end without realizing it.

Thank God that He's truly in control and He's still protecting me despite of my wrong decisions in life. Praise G
od Almighty!