“There is a house, empty, unfurnished that is gradually filled with nice furniture’s until it becomes fully furnished and turned beautifully. It could be real house or you as God’s dwelling place. And there is more to your testimony that God will let you discover.”
These are the words I have received prophetically last July 22 during our men’s prayer night in the church. Aside from this, nothing much is going on with my life as a student and full time God's servant although lately I have been struggling a bit more intense with my SSA related issues.
In general, I still believe that I am victorious for I know in my heart that I am and will always be a child of God pursuing relentlessly the life and destiny that the Lord has set for me in the midst of occasional failures (or much appropriate to call it sins) especially in the area of my SSA struggles. Again, I am not saying this like I am proud or something like that but to put a reality of following this calling of the Lord. Honestly, it is pretty obvious that it is very difficult and sometimes frustrating. You will always find yourself in a tug of war within yourself only to fall sometimes.
Long time ago I already made a decision that no matter what happens, I will stay in this journey whatever it takes and never let go. The struggles and hardships especially denying (and dying) to oneself cannot outweigh the peace, hope, joy and love in and of Jesus each day. By His grace and my faith, life has more excitement than frustrations, more real joy than just mere happiness or sadness, more adventure than boring, more victory than defeat, and most importantly…life has more meaning, knowing who you are in God in spite of unworthiness and trying to live the life that God has called you for. This might sound crazy for some but that is all right. I guess, it is just okay and more fun to be crazy with the Lord Jesus in this life.
Hopefully, this will negate the perception that once you are a Christian, you are perfectly okay and not sinning. Unfortunately that is not true especially for someone like who is slowly but definitely coming out of addiction. But what the truth is…a Christian sin less…thank God for the work of the Holy Spirit, for His endless mercy, stubborn love and amazing grace!
Lastly, please do pray for me as I do my thesis and final papers. I am on my last few months of my masters, hoping and praying to finish by March 2015 with flying colors! Also please kindly include financial provisions for it seems God does not want me to work but to focus only with my studies and depend fully on Him financially by faith. To all of my followers and readers, thank you very much and may the Lord’s love, peace and grace be upon you always.