A Year of The "Unexpecteds"

Yes, if I am going to describe the past year in a word…it should be a year of “unexpecteds” with an s

for a lot of truly surprising things happened in 2015.

First, I graduated earlier than expected. My plan was to finish around 2016 so it was a year ahead than intended not to mention that I have shifted from “non-thesis” to a “thesis” track inadvertently!

Second, the desire that God has put into my heart several months prior to graduation happened so fast and in a very unexpected way! On my last year as a student, I was thinking of how I could practice everything I learned. Then the idea of putting up a counseling and training center popped up. I shared it to a few friends and invited them to join me. I did not realize that God was already working! I later learned that two other classmates had a vision and a dream of the same idea.The ministries that God has specifically called me to serve, which is addressing the issues on HIV&AIDS, and homosexuality now has a home in AMARA Center for Family Counseling. Although each of us counselors has our own field of expertise, we are called to respond to anyone whom God will lead us to help. I will post more about AMARA next time.

Third, there was the unexpected guesting at CBN Asia with a surprise dynamics at the set. It was like the Lord has set me up so I still cannot believe that it happened! But I am grateful with the result and feedback I have received.

Fourth, passing the licensure exam for Guidance Counselors was another unexpected event! Although we have reviewed and studied fully for a week…oh yes just one week because even after the deadline of application…we were not sure if PRC would allow us to take or not after we have submitted all the requirements! The exam was also a bit difficult for me so it was like really an answered prayer to pass! We strongly believed, given all the hurdles we’ve been through, we all passed through the amazing grace of God! One of us even made it to the Top 5!

Of course, there’s the launching of our center in Don Antonio, QC, which was successfully attended by future referrals and partners that have resulted to a few invitations more to do the SSA workshop. Moreover, there’s a CoH workshop and a couple of HIV seminars to an NGO in Ermita and Resorts World in Pasay to finish the year off.

One very interesting that happened this year was when the Lord has finally confirmed that a book that tells His story through my life must be written. Actually, God has impressed that to me a couple of years ago but I did not give much attention to it although I have prayed that if it was really HimI would be needing few unexpected affirmations. Early this year when I was visiting Logos Hope for their S-Project, two persons approached me and opened the idea of writing my story in a book. But I said, Lord I need one more.” On October 28, I shared my testimony to the National Youth Commission of PCEC in a half-day HIV seminar. After my talk, a young Pastor approached and asked me about the “books” I have written and deep down inside I was like, “What? Are you serious? Oh Lord this is you indeed!” Funny thing was prior to that inquiry, the point person for that event talked to me about writing a book and when he heard the young Pastor’s question he abruptly told me, “See I told you, start writing!” Hence, as of this post I am on the last few chapters of the book hoping it will be published early or mid next year. Another funny thing was, I have not started the first book yet and it seemed to me that the Lord wants me to do a sequel! So let’s hope and pray that everything will be taking place as God leads things to happen according to His will and purpose.

Truly, God has never failed me to surprise with something during this season each year. What an unexpected turns of events this 2015! It looks like I am going to reach higher and bigger dreams for 2016 and my prayer is that…so are you my dear followers of this blog! Merry Christmas and a Happy Blessed New Year!

HIV&AIDS Month

Yes I know HIV&AIDS months are supposed to be May for AIDS Candle Light Memorial Day, which is annually being done every third Sunday of the said month; and December for World AIDS Day. But for me the past month was all about HIV&AIDS for the following reasons.

During the second week of October, I went to Bacolod City to conduct an HIV&AIDS Symposium for a day. The University of St. LaSalle entitled their activity “Age Does Not Matter But AIDS Does” wherein the college of my friend and colleague where he teaches organized the said event and have attended the symposium. Approximately 200 students including from other departments or colleges have participated and learned. In addition to basic facts and information on HIV&AIDS, they also have heard my life story and some practical information on dealing with the LGBT community. It was an amazing experience to talk before these young people and have become a blessing.

Just a few days before the break for All Saints and All Souls Day, together with my friends and colleagues in the CoH ministry and RedHAT, I have conducted a half-day HIV&AIDS seminar for PCEC – NYC sector or National Youth Commission’s pastors, leaders and church workers. In this learning event, which was spearheaded by the Micah Challenge group, many were touched, inspired, challenged, moved, and blessed simply by listening from what God has done through my life as I shared. Similar with the USLS students, it also opened an opportunity for these people to discuss and do something about the issue of homosexuality or same-sex attraction (SSA) to their own communities.

Although I must say that the highlight for me was when somebody asked me about a book I have written, which I still do not have!  It was a sign I have asked from God that it is indeed His will for me to write a book about His story that He has written and still writing through my life! I guess this is it and now I have no choice but to plan and begin writing the manuscript. Just the thought of it excites me and I am going to ensure that this new venture will honor and glorify the Lord. The question is, will I use my pen name “Dr. El Roi” like the other authors or my real name? What do you think my dear readers?

Supernatural Destiny

It has been quite a while since I have posted a review about the book I just have finished reading and this one by Don Nori Sr. is about a journey of faith as we answer God’s call in our life. Through his work there is one thing I have realized as I continue on living for Jesus and that is the necessity of brokenness. Below are the exact words I have excerpted from this book.

Most people believe that once they have heard the call of God and are certain of His leading, the rest of the journey will be very easy and He will take them to new heights and exciting dreams. Well there’s a truth in this but still could be further from the actual reality. The stronger the leading of the Lord, the more difficult the journey will certainly be. The early days of this “supernatural destiny” involve times of introspection, of a deep inner conflict of attitudes and actions that fight against the presence of God in our life. Therefore, the biggest lesson I have learned and still learning is humility and brokenness, coming to the realization that the thing that we have been called to do is much, much bigger than we could ever fulfill ourselves. Thus, we enter the process of brokenness. Of course, it took me years to learn this and like I have said I am still learning and getting the hang of it.

How I conduct myself in the everyday world is every bit as essential as the thing we are called to do. Through openness and desire to accomplish His will, I just have realized that brokenness is actually a part of this calling and is a lifetime process hence, a companion for life. For brokenness continually reminds us of who we are apart from Jesus. It helps us keep our success in perspective. It continuously reminds us of the pit from which we were removed. Brokenness is truly faithful in keeping our lives and our popularity under the Lordship of Jesus.

If you are honest with yourself, and if you allow honesty, repentance, and forgiveness to be part of your life, you will discover that brokenness comes alongside you as a very powerful safeguard against pride, judgments to others, temptations, and self-righteousness including words of those who may deceive you, all of which will certainly corrupt the work that God has given you. The circumstances that brokenness leads us into will continuously point out places within us that require attention and, ultimately, repentance, which is what we need instead of sorrow or remorse. Brokenness is faithful to us in situations that bring these fleshly roadblocks to light until we wrestle with them in the quiet solitude of our prayer lives. Brokenness knows that unless issues in personality, sin, and attitude adjustments are made, the end of our destiny is certain, and our lives end in shipwreck, sorrow, and much pain.

Personally, I am very conscious of my weaknesses. Regret is difficult to leave behind even after you repent. It is much easier for God to forgive me than it is for me to forgive myself. We handle our struggles and weaknesses differently (denial, justification, using scriptures, etc.) but it is better to confess to the Lord who we are, what we are, and how we have failed Him. That is why I was very glad to learn the importance of humility in following Christ. Honesty grants true forgiveness and release His power to give you strength and freedom over temptation. When we do not cover up our sin before God, He will cover us. When we conceal our sin before the Lord, we leave Him no alternative but to uncover it, sometimes even before man thus, accountability. 

Brokenness strives to deal with the hidden sin and will always come to us in the quiet of our own prayer life for God speaks through it concerning the issues that we have in life. In my experience with my SSA struggles and other sins, He gently urges me to a place of repentant sorrow and change. Then His mercy enters and allows brokenness to expose my weaknesses in a very real way. All these make this journey a lonely path somehow but the few people whom God has brought into my life alleviates this loneliness and praise God for them. For they are the ones whom I can bare my heart and my soul and tell them anything without fear of judgment, they are the ones whom I can be me in success and failure and in good times and hard times. They are God’s covering for me, the intercessors who walk with me in this calling…my supernatural destiny!

These realizations made me grateful to God once again for my struggles and brokenness. 1 Peter 1:3-8.

Few Trips and A Talk

After passing the licensure board exam for Guidance Counselor, I have been into few trips that I have missed the recognition at school for us board passers. It was a little ceremony celebrating the successful first attempt of the Bible school and its counseling department. The book “Dare to Journey” by Charles Ringma with Henri Nouwen was the token given to us and I just got mine this week when I visited the school.

                           

I was in Cebu attending the Channels of Hope refresher course that week when the recognition took place. It was a week of reunion of old friends serving in the same ministry and fun with a new close friend from the locale with food tripping, coffee and yes…little wine. The following week was spent at Hacienda Gracia Resort and Hotel at Lubao, Pampanga, a quite nice and beautiful place for strategic planning of Pinoy Plus. Also it was a week of reunion and getting to know more friends from the positive community.

Two weekends ago, the first out of town trip and staff meeting of our newly found counseling center was held in Pilar, Bataan, the hometown of our head colleague. We have done some amendments on the proposal for our first major client, which is a research company. Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar in Bagac and the cross or the shrine at the top of Mt. Samat was the two beautiful and historical places we have visited. The former showcases the Old Spanish houses in the country in which some of them were made into hotels while the latter tells the Japanese-American war history.

Last Saturday, I got invited to speak before a group of dentists and their staff in a fellowship. I shared a message, which I have entitled “Being There: The Quest for Integrity.” The sample story I used was my story and journey with Christ as we discussed achieving integrity in our daily lives. Most of them, if not all of them, were blessed to hear from someone like me who is so open and honest about my life. Reflecting on the teaching I have shared, I truly praise the Lord for finally bringing me to this point wherein I can blatantly tell both the good and dark side of the path I have chosen to walk into. There’s no more shame and no more fear but courage knowing that all this is for the honor and glory of God. There is really freedom in the truth of being who you are in the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the midst of challenges, struggles in life and weaknesses, truly that living for God and His purposes is the key to an amazing and fruitful life!

The 700 Club, Logos Hope & NCE

 

Few major things have happened in the past month until last week and the key words as to what are those can be read from the title.

It was my first time to be interviewed on national TV via 700 Club Asia about my journey and struggles with SSA that was aired on second week of Julyat GMA News TV. At first, I thought I got invited to share my views on the Anti-SOGI Discrimination bill but when I got on the set and read the script I was shocked! But then I realized perhaps it was the time the Lord has set for it to happen so it felt like God has set me up for a good purpose without a warning! Asking my friends and prayer to cover me with prayers and the Holy Spirit to lead me, it went very well indeed.

The host Peter Kairuz and the former beauty queen Miriam Quiambiao were the interviewers. Basically I was able to share how I have come up with my decision to “deny” myself and try hard to live the life God has called me for, which is to turn away from the “gay” life. And since it is a Christian program, my views on homosexual issues were the big part of that conversation. Positive feedbacks were received from all the community I am connected with including the former ones. A few of them told me that I was like a professor giving lectures to the two interviewers hahaha! Most importantly, I got some supports and very good comments from my family and relatives.Also, this debut on TV has revealed the real me to old friends and former classmates during high school and college days thus I can say, “I am truly out!”They were all proud of me actually praise God!

For the fourth time since 2012, I have visited the Logos Hope ship docked at San Fernando, La Union and shared the story God has written on my life for the second time to this whole community of young Christian missionaries from all over the world. Not only I have done devotion and workshops on homosexuality but I was also able to do a one on one focused conversation than counseling with some of the ship’s crew. So glad to hear that they were truly blessed with everything I have shared and encouraged to face theirself-issues. This was the part I really enjoyed during this stay. Moreover, I was able to make a new best friend out of my Scottish host from Edinburgh and made friends with his friends and some of the Filipino visitors and volunteers. Similarly, not only they were proud of me but impressed and blessed too with the work God has been doing through my life.

Closely fourteen days after I left the ship, I took the board for NCE or National Counselors Examination to become a licensed practitioner or Registered Guidance Counselor or RGC. Despite of the several challenges we have faced such as time constraint reviewing, application for examination and uncertainties from Professionals Regulations Commission or PRC as to whether our program and school will be approved to take the exam, almost all of us who took from the our school passed the exam! On top of that, one of us placed fifth overall! Personally this is a miracle and truly all by His grace alone for this is how exactly what I have been praying from the beginning of our intention to take the licensure examination. Now my masters’ degree did not only give me a “Pastoral Counselor” ministry title but also earned me a license as RGC. It was really unbelievable for we found the exam difficult like it was impossible to pass especially if you were not able to study well almost 75% of the content. But this is another proof that if you yield everything, trusts and let God…His will prevails! What an unforgettable experience! So to all who prayed for and with us, from the bottom of my heart, my deepest thanks!

So what’s next? Well I need to focus now with our newly formed counseling center and attend to several commitments on seminars, workshops, and counseling that all were put on hold for this NCE. Another thing that happened in the Logos Hope ship, somebody told me…. again…to write a book on my story so I am still praying if it is really one of the direction God is setting me up for. Hmmm not a bad idea so we’ll see, I might start thinking about it seriously. 

Life After Graduation

It has been almost three months since I have finished the graduate school and the work I have been praying for seems to be bleak and very elusive. Funny to think that more often than not, in this life we find usually find ourselves at a crossroad when things do not happen the way we planned it to be. The beauty in this all uncertainties is that, we have a God who holds our world in His hands and all we have to do is simply put our trust in Him while letting Him to lead us. Believe me, after almost eight years of journeying with the Lord; waiting is not getting any easier.

Nevertheless, God has His ways of keeping me a bit busy but not that hectic for I still have a lot time for myself practically not doing anything but simply relaxing.

April was a time reconnecting with friends and catching up and attending some ministry related meetings. This was also the month when the thought of putting up a counseling and training center has turned into initial planning. One of the founding members immediately proposed her owned office space to be the training center and official business center.

The following month, this Center for Development and Counseling was born and some preliminary marketing plans were mapped out towards launching that is going to happen on mid June. I was also able to conduct a two-day Channels of Hope for HIV with the youth of this particular church and it was my second time to hold this workshop with them. Moreover, I got invited to co-facilitate a consultation workshop for different support groups for PLHIV that were participated by their different representatives from all over the country. It was a great learning experience for me because I was able to get the clear picture for the first time how the government, NGOs and us should be working altogether to put the system in place for better service provision to the whole positive community.

Last week, I led facilitating a two-day Channels of Hope HIV workshop for the medical staff of this hospital in Tondo and it was my first time but already the second time of the team to hold the same event. New ministry partners and friends were gained aside from the blessings through serving the Lord in this work for seven years now. The week was capped with the reunion of former colleagues and friends from Channels of Hope movement from Africa and US who were in the country doing a Christian-Muslim training of facilitators.

So while waiting for God’s next move for my life, there’s a time for ministry, friends, family and for myself. There is also a time to minister to brothers and sisters who are in need of encouragement and guidance. As for the challenges in this Christian life, they remain but at the same time is keeping me to hold on stronger and stronger with the Lord.

A week after next week, the review class for Guidance and Counseling licensure exam is about to begin and I am still praying for God’s provision for my tuition fee and review materials including other basic living needs. For some probably they might wonder why I can’t just simply jump into a certain job to avoid financial issues. Well, I could have done that easily whenever I want to but what matters to me is where God really wants me to be. And besides I can feel that something good will come my way with all these events that have happened in this season of increasing faith and depending fully on Him while waiting. Anyway, I try not to worry and I am enjoying my time somehow.

Thank you for reading continually my personal online journal. Please feel free to send any prayer request and questions through the email indicated on this page and please continue praying for me as well…really appreciate it. Shalom and God bless us all.

The Day A Dream Turned Into A Reality

Today is Black Saturday and it has been more than a week since the most anticipated event in this season of my life has happened, my graduation day. This and few things have kept me busy for the past couple of months and looking back, I still can’t believe that everything has been done.

After I have sent the letters for sponsors that I have entitled “Road to Graduation,” I have started working more on my thesis while waiting for responses. Many have responded positively! There were a few who immediately deposited the amount they have pledged and there were some who gave it to me personally. I did not realize that there are people who actually believe in me and in the ministry that God has called me for. Although there were a few who said that they would pledge but perhaps they have forgotten and that’s all right.Virtually, I was able to raise the amount I have stated in the letter and pay and bought the things needed to meet my graduation requirements.

The defense was not as nerve-wracking as I have expected. In fact, it was very relaxed and I only got a few but somewhat long revisions so in short, I passed! Additionally, we had photo shoot for graduation, graduation process such as clearance, exit interview and personal preparations. And then we had our Baccalaureate Service, submission of the final copy of my thesis, graduation practice and eventually the big day, which is our graduation ceremony! All these had happened in less than two months!

Well reflecting back, I can still feel the excitement, happiness and also of the sadness for another chapter of my life has ended. Honestly, there is also doubt and at the same time hopeful for new opportunities that might come my way…open doors that God has for me. Before graduation I never had a plan and now it has been more than a week and I still do not have a plan. Although, I have hopes and dreams of serving the Lord again through the “Channels of Hope” work internationally and use all that I have learned from the Bible graduate school. There is one thing that I cannot really run away from now that I got my degree, the very thing that I asked the Lord not to let me do…preaching! I had my first unforced preaching last Sunday and it was indeed a blessing for the few people of that small church community in Caloocan. Their Pastor even has sent me a text message thanking me for the Word of God I have imparted for it still ministering to him after a couple of days.. I still can’t believe that I have finished it for once it was only a dream confirmed by a prophecy and now it has become a reality! Praise the Lord!

In the next few months, I will be updating my resume, look for possible work opportunities, have my regular check up and get my medical treatment supplies, attend to workshops where I was invited to speak, go out with friends, take review classes for Guidance and Counseling board exam, and continue praying for the path God has set for me. In the midst of the temptations and struggles in this pilgrimage, God has been and will always be faithful. He never faltered revealing new things on His everlasting love for us.

Thank you for continuously reading my entries here and God bless us all! Shalom!

And That Pride Has Yielded...Finally

Recently, I was going thru a lot of challenges, relationships within the family, personal tussles, and financial issues. And because of all these, I felt so down, broken and driven-less since last Christmas until just last week… I have been moved to reach out to my family in the Lord Jesus Christ after pouring my heart out to God through praying. The most pressing concern among these challenges is my finances. This “moved” by the Spirit has begun mid last year but because of my “pride” issue…it took me months to finally obey Him.

As you may have known by now (or probably not) that I am on the last two months of the journey God has given me four years ago here at the Bible graduate school. And since mid 2012 after my contract with this NGO has ended I have faithfully depended on Him on everything especially the financial aspect while serving as a volunteer and being humbled thru the HIV&AIDS ministry and giving messages of hope thru speaking, teaching and counseling to different types and groups of people.

Now, I am praying to God for His financial provision as I end this chapter in my life in a couple of months. Being out of work for almost three years now and studying and serving to God’s community full time was a bit tough although it has taught me to really rely on Him, for finances has been always one of my issue in trusting Him…there is always doubt. This has somehow affected my attitude spiritually towards God, my Pastor, and church in the past several weeks. But this time now that my bank account is almost gone, He “moved” my heart and has confirmed several times already since last year thru some people in the church that it is about time for me to obey Him, forget the pride and do this. So with a bit of hesitation just to be honest...I have sent letters asking for financial support just until graduation to some people God has lead me to approach. In the letter, an email actually, I have invited them to be a part of this journey I am treading on as I finish this season of training and equipping.

Virtually this was also the content of my letter and it’s been four days since I have emailed it. I have already received responses from them and still waiting for some. I trust God will provide the amount I have stated through His people in His perfect timing. Honestly, I still have little doubts and still feel ashamed but I guess it’s just normal. What matters most is that I have finally took a leap of faith, which I should have done a long time ago through this step.

Please, I also ask for your prayers. First, that God would continue to lead and provide me wisdom and strength as I finish my thesis and the whole program…that I may be filled with our Lord’s Spirit, that I will be small and Christ be more evident to the people who I am encountering with. Lastly, that our Lord will take over my being and surrender myself that I can be a conqueror. Blessings to all! Shalom!