Journaling, writing, blogging or whatever we may desire tocall it nowadays for me has become spontaneous like tonight. Perhaps I got inspired by the New Year’s Eve holiday. I feel nostalgic to reflect back on the most important lesson that is worth-reminiscing that took place in the past year. THE ACT OF FORGIVENESS.
First, it is truly a HUMBLING experience. Forgiving someone whom you have thought to be the last person to deeply hurt you by his unsubstantiated claims was really hard. With his gentle but blatantly throat-cutting words, I felt judged, worthless, and untrustworthy. He’s the greatest influencer in my eleven years’ journey with the Lord Jesus Christ. I am who I am today largely because I have internalized his teachings and principles from the scriptures! Again, those words were entirely groundless and pure assumptions. He was like a mentor to me! I look up highly to him! I believe you got my point.
Second, the act of forgiveness is truly a PROCESS. The offense took place virtually a year ago when I was moved by the Holy Spirit to do it. My heart was protesting but my mind and body were united to go against it. Honestly, I still cannot believe he did that and I am still hurting until today whenever I think of it.
But I am glad God did it because lastly, the act of forgiveness when you are deeply wounded can only be done by His GRACE. Whenever I think of those words he said, until this moment I fail to understand how or why he did that. It cost our intimate relationship. However, I chose to forgive him almost every day with a little hope that restoration towards a sweeter relationship will happen soon. It taught me what an elder told me a few times. The amount of grace you have received from the Lord is the same grace you can bestow to others especially to those who hurt you the most. Indubitably, I am so grateful to the abounding grace like an ocean that God Himself has bestowed upon me over and over again. So, who am I not to do so? But then again, it is difficult, however, by His grace it is possible.
Yes, through forgiveness reconciliation has taken place and largely, to a certain degree, it has freed me from negative and unhealthy thoughts about him. Nevertheless, as I tread on the path of 2019 towards my twelve years with Christ Jesus, my prayer is that the Lord will allow me to see the remaining pain in a different light. A new perspective that will usher me to become more like Him. That is to do what is right always despite my pain and sinfulness simply because I love Jesus above all. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see the SILVER LINING through hurt and for teaching me more about humility and grace through the act of forgiveness, especially when my heart says no. Truly, this is a lesson worthy of living and remembering. A Blessed Happy New Year to all!