Recently, I was going thru a lot of challenges, relationships within the family, personal tussles, and financial issues. And because of all these, I felt so down, broken and driven-less since last Christmas until just last week… I have been moved to reach out to my family in the Lord Jesus Christ after pouring my heart out to God through praying. The most pressing concern among these challenges is my finances. This “moved” by the Spirit has begun mid last year but because of my “pride” issue…it took me months to finally obey Him.
As you may have known by now (or probably not) that I am on the last two months of the journey God has given me four years ago here at the Bible graduate school. And since mid 2012 after my contract with this NGO has ended I have faithfully depended on Him on everything especially the financial aspect while serving as a volunteer and being humbled thru the HIV&AIDS ministry and giving messages of hope thru speaking, teaching and counseling to different types and groups of people.
Now, I am praying to God for His financial provision as I end this chapter in my life in a couple of months. Being out of work for almost three years now and studying and serving to God’s community full time was a bit tough although it has taught me to really rely on Him, for finances has been always one of my issue in trusting Him…there is always doubt. This has somehow affected my attitude spiritually towards God, my Pastor, and church in the past several weeks. But this time now that my bank account is almost gone, He “moved” my heart and has confirmed several times already since last year thru some people in the church that it is about time for me to obey Him, forget the pride and do this. So with a bit of hesitation just to be honest...I have sent letters asking for financial support just until graduation to some people God has lead me to approach. In the letter, an email actually, I have invited them to be a part of this journey I am treading on as I finish this season of training and equipping.
Virtually this was also the content of my letter and it’s been four days since I have emailed it. I have already received responses from them and still waiting for some. I trust God will provide the amount I have stated through His people in His perfect timing. Honestly, I still have little doubts and still feel ashamed but I guess it’s just normal. What matters most is that I have finally took a leap of faith, which I should have done a long time ago through this step.
Please, I also ask for your prayers. First, that God would continue to lead and provide me wisdom and strength as I finish my thesis and the whole program…that I may be filled with our Lord’s Spirit, that I will be small and Christ be more evident to the people who I am encountering with. Lastly, that our Lord will take over my being and surrender myself that I can be a conqueror. Blessings to all! Shalom!