Abounding Grace for Forty-Three Years

Four decades and three years but who is counting? Well, we are taught to number our days (Psalm 90: 12) so, yes, I am counting. I am just grateful to God for keeping me alive for forty-three years...and two days now. Without a doubt, the past 43 years has been a reflection of His amazing and abounding grace. Acknowledging the fact that I could have died twice already makes me speechless and in awe about how good and faithful our Almighty Father was and He will remain to be...I guess, even I have been and will be unfaithful at times. Hey, I’m just being real here.

The older I get the more I realize that I need Christ more than I usually do. For this reason, I have only one prayer request from the Lord Jesus on my birthday from this day until the end, that He gives me a heart that loves Him above else. I need a heart that loves Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength that also fears Him, a wise and discerning heart. Consequently, I would live this life only according to His will and purpose continually. Every single moment every day, I may live this God-given life simply to honor and glorify Him.

God’s love is reckless, merciful, and never-ending. He is a good good Father. Simply that is who He is and by the grace of God, I am who I am. With that loving heart, I strongly desire what the Apostle Paul has said (Galatians 2: 20). That in the coming days or years, it is Christ that truly lives in me and no longer I...and incessantly become a channel of His blessings of love, faith, and hope.

12 Years of Faith Journey

“Yesterday’s failures do not determine the outcome of today’s battle.” That is according to Brian Hedges. 

Every thirteenth of December marks the day when my faith journey has begun. Similar to the movie called “12 Years of Slave” or  the “12 Tribes of Israel” or the 

 “12 Days of Christmas”, it has been twelve years since I have given and surrendered my life to the one and only God’s sent Lord and Saviour for everyone. Wow! I still could not believe it! What Hedges said in the quote is true. For yesterday’s failure twelve years ago did not determine the outcome of my battles today. It is Christ Jesus who did and still do after twelve years when He found me and I started to live a life dedicated simply to honor and glorify Him.  

Looking back into those years, I could not help but feel joy, sad at difficult times such as sins and failures, and only adoration to who God truly has been and is. For this reason, I have shared this twelve-years of faith journey in more than twelve minutes to this gathering yesterday. It was my first time to speak about how my life has been for the past twelve years (actually thirteen) at World AIDS Day held in Manila yesterday. The theme for this year’s assembly is “Community Makes a Difference”. Thus, it is just fairly right to highlight the most important of all the communities that have made a difference in my life. That is the church community. 

The body of Christ has played a quite significant part of God’s story being written throughout my life. Without the church, along with my family, advocacy, and healing communities, I don’t think I would be able to have the life I am enjoying today – a somewhat happy and contented life in Jesus. From the failures of yesterday, still, I could not believe I was able to accomplish a lot of things I did not even imagine or dream of. Who would have thought that a former licensed electrical engineer would have turned into a Registered Guidance Counselor when he only desired to finish a master’s degree in counseling? Moreover, maybe I have dreamed of becoming a doctor but not a doctorate degree in Clinical Christian Counseling! So, I will be forever grateful to those people who have supported me in all these. Of course, by God’s grace, these people include my colleagues and dear friends from our counseling ministry. All these communities where I got involved with in the past twelve years have made a difference in my life very positively. 

So, not only that I have found my true calling and passion but also the real purpose of life – a God’s agent of healing and transformation for His people, a channel of God’s hope. Hence, do not worry if you have failed. It will not determine the outcome of our battles today but Jesus. Trust Him. Take it from a failure who have made victorious by the reckless and stubborn love of God. Looking forward to the next twelve years in my journey with Him. Thank you, Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!

Overlooking The Offense (Birthday Reflection)

“Accept then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” These are words of Eckhart Tolle. Acceptance is an attitude that we often do every day consciously or unconsciously. But when it comes to pain, emotional pain caused by offenses to be specific, acceptance can be quite difficult. You will find yourself struggling between retaliation and forgiveness. This the lesson that God has been teaching me lately.

Retaliation can be in any form. In my case, giving a hard cold shoulder when the person is around and staying away are my ways of being polite. On the other side of the pendulum is overlooking the offense, a Christ-like way. The consequences of the former choice can be detrimental to the relationship. Pain caused by the offense, especially if is not true or sometimes you are clueless, can cloud not only our judgment. The sorrow and worry can also cloud our perception upon the offender. However, the most painful about retribution when we dwell on it is the trouble it can cause us. It has the power to interrupt our day and ruin it even before we know it until we snap our self out of it and move on. In short, inner peace has become elusive. The worst part, the offender did not even know or sometimes care about it.

Overlooking the offense is not easy. If the pain that it caused you is a bit much, forgiving can be a challenge. In my case, through prayers and acceptance, God has led me to overlook the offense and forgive. By His grace and through constant prayer, God has led me to reach out to the person even if my heart did not want to. Moreover, God has shown me how rewarding it was to obey Him. More than the reconciliation of relationship, the blessing of inner peace and joy are found again. The best part, God is honored and glorified.

The key to dealing with offenses is not easy. “We overlook offense by looking up to God” according to Scott Hubbard. By His grace, overlooking the offense is quite possible. I have to realize that this attitude is what God has been chipping out from my heart by His chisel for the past two years. Thus, I can say now that I am grateful to my offender for the pain he has caused me. So, you see. Even people who are difficult to deal with has a purpose in our life. As Charles Spurgeon said, “Great hearts can only be made by great troubles.” Remember, every cloud has a silver lining. Thank you, Lord, once again, for continuously allowing me to see the SILVER LINING through offenses by overlooking it, for teaching me more about humility and grace through acceptance of any situation, especially when my heart says no.

Now That I Am Forty-ish

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One year and four decades, I still could not believe that I have reached this age a few days ago. I have said it before and I will say it again. I have lived longer than I have expected. Thus, I am in awe and speechless before our life-giver. Giving thanks is simply not enough. However, I am and will always be forever grateful to the ever loving Lord Jesus Christ.

According to V. R. Risner, a contributor writer for desringgod.com, “Don’t waste your suffering, for it will be the making of your faith. And one day, you will be grateful for it all.” This is entirely true in my God-given life. Moreover, I realized that my epic failure more than a decade ago was a huge gift. Chuck Swindoll said, “Strength and courage are developed during a trial, not after it's over. Waiting on God is essential.” And the strength and courage I have today came from such trials and sufferings. By the grace of God, I am what I am today, getting older but gradually becoming a better version of myself. From one of my favorite movies “Kingsman - The Secret Service”, Gallahad said that true nobility is the superiority of your former self. In this context, I may not be that superior from my former self but I believe I am crawling towards becoming the man whom God wants me to be.

Please PARDON ME, for those people who have issues with photos like this one I have posted. I just turned forty-one. Just looking back a long time ago and looking into myself now, all I can say is, “Wow, with God nothing really is impossible.” I never thought that I could maintain that young looks and a healthy body despite my situation and everything I have been through. And again, when I was young, I thought that a 40-ish man is quite old. Now that I have reached this age, I can say that I was totally wrong. I still feel (and I believe) I look young.

Therefore, thank you Lord for the gift of life and for a life that is so blessed. Truly, I am grateful for the gift of contentment and satisfaction in you. Thank you, Lord, for the call of living a life with meaning and purpose through Christ our Lord and Saviour...all for your honor and glory.

The Surprise at Officially Forty

Two months ago, I have written whether if life does really

begin at forty. Today marks my third day as an official forty-year-old guy.

Honestly, I am not really fond of celebrating my birthdays. Especially when I became conscious of my fear of getting into geriatric age. So I just let them passed like any ordinary day. However, the Lord has His ways that any man could not stop, including the birthday celebrator himself.

My family and friends spent some time and effort in the past to remember and celebrate it in simple ways. Mostly, I planned to spend this time with family and just stay at home. This year, I chose to be in Bohol and have decided to lead the facilitation of a three-day “Channels of Hope” workshop. The day I thought would pass off like any workshop days I have done previously did not happen. Something I was not expecting took place to my surprise!

At the end of the workshop during the closing ceremony, my dear friend and co-facilitator surprised me with the very thing I exactly instructed her not to do. With the help of the event coordinators, she announced that it was a special day for it was my birthday! Together with the participants, they sang the Happy Birthday song and prayed for me with the chocolate cake on my hands. Truly and sincerely, I was surprised! My plan of lamenting over reaching the age of forty did not materialize. It was exactly the opposite. I was and still overjoyed! Well, it is not every birthday I turned forty and far away from home. Thus, I must say God has made it special somehow and I am grateful for that.

It was not the kind of celebration I have dreamt of a few years before on my fortieth. Only if I have enough finances, I would love to do a mini concert of my own. Accompanied by a full live band, with simple food and drinks, I have imagined myself performing in front of my friends and family in an intimate venue. Oh well, perhaps this could happen in the future. Nevertheless, my turning forty remains special. Like I said earlier, I have lived more than I have expected so praise the Lord for the gift of life!

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Arriving on another decade is something to look forward to and get excited for the rest of what God has in stores for us. In fact, I am thrilled to see how this year would unfold with the prophetic prayers I received early this year. I would share it on my next post. Shalom!