12 Years of Faith Journey

“Yesterday’s failures do not determine the outcome of today’s battle.” That is according to Brian Hedges. 

Every thirteenth of December marks the day when my faith journey has begun. Similar to the movie called “12 Years of Slave” or  the “12 Tribes of Israel” or the 

 “12 Days of Christmas”, it has been twelve years since I have given and surrendered my life to the one and only God’s sent Lord and Saviour for everyone. Wow! I still could not believe it! What Hedges said in the quote is true. For yesterday’s failure twelve years ago did not determine the outcome of my battles today. It is Christ Jesus who did and still do after twelve years when He found me and I started to live a life dedicated simply to honor and glorify Him.  

Looking back into those years, I could not help but feel joy, sad at difficult times such as sins and failures, and only adoration to who God truly has been and is. For this reason, I have shared this twelve-years of faith journey in more than twelve minutes to this gathering yesterday. It was my first time to speak about how my life has been for the past twelve years (actually thirteen) at World AIDS Day held in Manila yesterday. The theme for this year’s assembly is “Community Makes a Difference”. Thus, it is just fairly right to highlight the most important of all the communities that have made a difference in my life. That is the church community. 

The body of Christ has played a quite significant part of God’s story being written throughout my life. Without the church, along with my family, advocacy, and healing communities, I don’t think I would be able to have the life I am enjoying today – a somewhat happy and contented life in Jesus. From the failures of yesterday, still, I could not believe I was able to accomplish a lot of things I did not even imagine or dream of. Who would have thought that a former licensed electrical engineer would have turned into a Registered Guidance Counselor when he only desired to finish a master’s degree in counseling? Moreover, maybe I have dreamed of becoming a doctor but not a doctorate degree in Clinical Christian Counseling! So, I will be forever grateful to those people who have supported me in all these. Of course, by God’s grace, these people include my colleagues and dear friends from our counseling ministry. All these communities where I got involved with in the past twelve years have made a difference in my life very positively. 

So, not only that I have found my true calling and passion but also the real purpose of life – a God’s agent of healing and transformation for His people, a channel of God’s hope. Hence, do not worry if you have failed. It will not determine the outcome of our battles today but Jesus. Trust Him. Take it from a failure who have made victorious by the reckless and stubborn love of God. Looking forward to the next twelve years in my journey with Him. Thank you, Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!

HIV, SSA, God and Me

The first 31 days of 2013 has passed fleetingly and a lot of great things happened already.

On the second week of last month, I have shared my testimony through a “lifeline” in one of our class in an almost quite detail. More people now know my HIV status, my homosexual or SSA struggle, and the ministry God has involved me in relation to these two. Revealing the “real” me under my identity in Christ is always liberating, rewarding and brings healing through relationships. People have appreciated it and they were all blessed.

For two consecutive days last week, I shared again “God’s story” through the life He has given to me to few pastors of PCEC to advocate on HIV&AIDS Channels of Hope. Many were called but very few were chosen to participate and listen to us, and eventually realized the serious role of church in the HIV&AIDS ministry.

On the personal side, I have received a prophetic word from the Lord through one of our church elders. This year I will be alone in Him for God will remove (hopefully temporarily) the people I lean on and it will be just me and God, that I will be able to say that ‘God is my delight’. His Spirit will explode and I will fall in love more with Jesus. I guess it is starting to takes place.

This week alone, I have encountered God’s presence twice already or perhaps even more than that. When I woke up two mornings ago, upon greeting the Lord and say my regular morning prayer to begin my day, immediately I felt his presence as I turned on the TV and saw the episode I missed from one my favorite series lately! It was like God telling me that even in the simplest and smallest desires of our hearts, He can hear it and He answers. Truly God can speak to us in anyway He can! Tears were flowing endlessly for almost an hour as I continue reading His words for the day after uttering my morning prayer. This morning, virtually the same thing happened! After praying while preparing my breakfast and as I read today’s word from ‘God’s Little Devotional Book’, His message to me was that, He is a TRUE friend to me, whom I can always count on regardless of what I have done. He is not interested with my explanations on why I have done this or that for He is a friend to me no matter what. ‘When I have made a fool out of myself, God does not feel I have done a permanent job.’ Again, all these made me broke into tears.

Tomorrow, I will be sharing again what God has done and still doing into my life. This time, the focus is where God’s grace is enormously present and truly heals me, which is my sexual brokenness, the SSA struggle. For the past almost five years of testifying to God’s grace through the Channels of Hope HIV ministry, I have been excluding this part of my life. And last year up to early this year, God has spoken to me very clearly that I do not have to hide it because of the shame I am feeling towards it. It is time to really give up my reputation to Him and tell His story that He is writing, without shame, through this brokenness. ‘A changed of heart to love him with all my heart and soul so that I may live is His word for me! (Deut. 30:6-9) And I will obey all His commands and He will make me successful in everything that I do!’ Of course, who am I not to claim joyfully and prayed deeply into my heart that I will truly be able to do this by His grace?

Again, the Lord can use any medium He wants to accomplish His purpose for His glory because the person who invited me to speak met me through this blog! I feel so blessed and very happy to meet this couple. I can feel strongly that God is up to something big!

Not only that, I am still waiting for confirmation but I might also share in a forum next week. With all these things happening in the midst of being a full time student with so much school requirements to finish, I really appreciate your prayers if you can do so.

Each day I ask God to take over and take charge of my life and lead me every step of the way for I do not want to go either left or right. I just desire to walk at the center of His will and everyday submission to Him is the best way to make it through!

Shalom everyone!

World AIDS Day & The Church

As people who believe in God, today is an important time to reflect on HIV and our belief that all people are created in God's image whether you are living with HIV, living with someone who is / are HIV positive, are not infected nor affected by it.

We must remain grounded in the spiritual foundation as the Lord Jesus Christ has shown that calls all of us to work for justice and treat all people as our brothers and sisters as we work to promote and protect the rights of PLWH or affected by HIV as well as those who are vulnerable to infection.

First we need to remember we are all broken people and sinners saved by grace. (Romans 7:15-25, Ephesians 2:8-9)

Second, Christ sets the example in Luke 15. Like the father in the parable of prodigal son, we are all asked to bestow the same courtesy to our brother and sisters no matter how bad they have been were. God has full of compassion and slow to anger. (Psalm 145:8-9)

Lastly, God is calling us to function as one body. (1 Cor.12:12-13). We are called to respond as a church but our response should be more than only a spiritual response of evangelism and prayer. We should clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience especially to those who are outcast and oppressed by the society. (Col. 3:12-14)

Our spiritual should be balanced by bringing HOPE in a very practical way to people living with HIV or directly affected by it. Let's remember this day by being channels of God's HOPE to everyone.

COH in Cebu

It was my fourth time to visit the city and my second time to do the "Channels of Hope" or COH workshop in Cebu last week.

The first one was back in 2009 when I was part of training team to train the second batch of facilitators. This time, some of those new facilitators were now part of the team and most of them were their first time to practice what they have learned more than a year ago.

In spite of a big group of this health team from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, we have four sets of facilitators of three for four groups; everything went well for God was truly in control.

More than 120 participants have attended, were very blessed with the whole workshop and have become new "salt and light" for those people who needs it especially those infected and affected by the HIV pandemic.

I continually thank God and give back all the honor, glory and praises to Him for entrusting me this work and ministry despite of my weaknesses. Blessed be thy name Lord Jesus!

HIV and AIDS

Many people view HIV and AIDS in the same light, and therefore have the underlying prejudice that someone who is HIV positive could die tomorrow.

Well, I must admit I used to believe that way two decades ago. Also, I never thought that I would have become a victim of this pandemic a couple of years ago. Believe it or not, the victims nowadays are younger like college students and young professionals. Unlike in the early years, the victims usually were OFWs but now it is being transmitted locally like in my case. I have never gone out of the country and yet I got infected. I was about to migrate that's why I got detected. But where did HIV or AIDS originated?

Research shows that HI virus originated in Africa. A particular kind of chimpanzee is known to carry a virus quite similar in structure to HIV. This chimpanzee virus (SIV) is a great deal older than the HI virus. In certain areas of Africa, the monkey and chimpanzee are considered a luxury food. Possibly the first human was infected by eating some uncooked organs, or through an accidental cut while preparing a carcass. The disease may have begun in this simple, quiet manner, spreading to others from this point through sexual intercourse and later through shared needle use.

Many African government representatives are sensitive about this view. Understandably so, as it is often phrased in a way that seems to blame Africa for the appearance of the virus. While scientific events are not themselves racist, observations and reporting of them may be so. It is important to remember that no one person, nation or population is responsible for the development of HIV and AIDS. We must all share the responsibility for stopping the spread of the virus.

Though currently, HIV is considered to be the worst kind of sexually transmitted disease or STD; let us also considered that a person can be infected through shared needle use, blood transfusion, or direct blood contact via open wounds or cuts. Many people still don't understand the important difference between HIV and AIDS. Let's start with HIV.

HIV stands for Human Immune-Deficiency Virus. After a person has been infected, the virus starts breaking down their immune system. After sometime, the person's immune system is so weak that they become susceptible to a variety of illnesses. So, a person who is HIV positive has the virus in their body, but does not yet have AIDS. As time passes, their immune system will deteriorate as the HIV multiplies and destroys the CD4 cells that compose our immune system, and the person develops AIDS.

AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Acquired implies that you had to get the virus causing this syndrome from someone else. To "acquire" anything, you must "do something" to be exposed to it. The virus is not transmitted through the air. You can only get it through unprotected sex or direct blood contact with a person who is HIV positive.

Immune deficiency means, after some years of being infected with the HI virus, your immune system will have been destroyed to the point where you have no defense system left in your body; a total lack of immunity or an immune deficiency.

Syndrome means, if your body no longer has a defense system, in other words you have an immune deficiency; you become an easy target for all kinds of diseases like skin and mouth infections to TB or cancer. It is called a syndrome because the person with AIDS does not become ill from only one disease, but from all kinds of diseases caused by a weak immune system. It is very important to remember that AIDS is the fourth stage in a very long process of deterioration, and it is caused by a virus called HIV. I'll talk about more of the stages and how it gradually attacks our immune system.

Note: Information was excerpt from "Channels of Hope" Manual.