Recently,
I was going thru a lot of challenges, relationships within the family, personal
tussles, and financial issues. And because of all these, I felt so down, broken
and driven-less since last Christmas until just last week… I have been moved to
reach out to my family in the Lord Jesus Christ after pouring my heart out to
God through praying. The most pressing concern among these challenges is my
finances. This “moved” by the Spirit has begun mid last year but because of my
“pride” issue…it took me months to finally obey Him.
As
you may have known by now (or probably not) that I am on the last two months of
the journey God has given me four years ago here at the Bible graduate school.
And since mid 2012 after my contract with this NGO has ended I have faithfully
depended on Him on everything especially the financial aspect while serving as a
volunteer and being humbled thru the HIV&AIDS ministry and giving messages
of hope thru speaking, teaching and counseling to different types and groups of
people.
Now,
I am praying to God for His financial provision as I end this chapter in my
life in a couple of months. Being out of work for almost three years now and
studying and serving to God’s community full time was a bit tough although it
has taught me to really rely on Him, for finances has been always one of my
issue in trusting Him…there is always doubt. This has somehow affected my
attitude spiritually towards God, my Pastor, and church in the past several
weeks. But this time now that my bank account is almost gone, He “moved” my
heart and has confirmed several times already since last year thru some people
in the church that it is about time for me to obey Him, forget the pride and do
this. So with a bit of hesitation just to be honest...I have sent letters
asking for financial support just until graduation to some people God has lead
me to approach. In the letter, an email actually, I have invited them to be a
part of this journey I am treading on as I finish this season of training and
equipping.
Virtually
this was also the content of my letter and it’s been four days since I have
emailed it. I have already received responses from them and still waiting for
some. I trust God will provide the amount I have stated through His people in
His perfect timing. Honestly, I still have little doubts and still feel ashamed
but I guess it’s just normal. What matters most is that I have finally took a
leap of faith, which I should have done a long time ago through this step.
Please,
I also ask for your prayers. First, that God would continue to lead and provide
me wisdom and strength as I finish my thesis and the whole program…that I may
be filled with our Lord’s Spirit, that I will be small and Christ be more
evident to the people who I am encountering with. Lastly, that our Lord will
take over my being and surrender myself that I can be a conqueror. Blessings to
all! Shalom!
