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That was the title of the book I just finished
reading. It is about encountering the Divine Feminine in the Masculine
Christian journey. My former professor gave me this copy, her latest book,
perhaps as her way of thanking me for allowing her to include one of my
journals as a requirement during my class with her. The content of this book
could possibly create some controversies for some especially those who
considered themselves conformist. Nevertheless, we got to respect every
person’s experience particularly if that experience is about encountering God.
Well, my own experience is cited here.
Becoming a part of one of the chapters of Dr.
Irene Alexander’s work is truly an honor and a privilege. I felt so blessed. I
really appreciate the way she has quoted what I said. This book made me feel
that God is truly incomprehensible or beyond our finite mind can understand.
And yet, we are called to trust Him even more. Yes, it has moved me to trust
Him even more and let go of the stereotypes and concepts I unconsciously have
towards God. I guess, I have to read the Bible more and really spend more time
digging and reflecting upon His words, which is a bit of a challenge nowadays
honestly. So, what desire will or should be awakened? I surmise this is
it...to seek more of an intimacy with Him. That is the desire to know God more
through seeking His presence and staying in it. That is the desire to get to
know Him through reading, studying, reflecting, and allowing His words to speak
to me while abandoning myself in Him completely.
Additionally, I have understood more the
"liminal experience" she has introduced us years ago through the life
of men she has presented in here. For legalistic Christians, this experience is
termed “backsliding”, not really a good word if I may add. Simply because I
believe that every experience we have both good and bad will all contribute to
our transformation. Similarly, God has allowed or ordained some awful things,
including sins, to happen. For what? Eventually, all for His glory. Through
this book, I have come to realize I did not have to be too hard on myself when
it comes to the cross that the Lord Jesus has asked me to carry virtually 11
years ago. My SSA and the remnants of my sexual abuse (which I have unexpectedly
discovered recently) and the struggle of sexual addiction (which I also have
"discovered" or more have accepted lately) are possibly huge areas of
my life that the Lord will do a lot in terms of healing and dealing with my
sexual brokenness.
This book came in at the right moment. I have
been struggling a lot about my “crosses” lately with no one to turn to and talk
about it. However, I thank God for our mandated personal psychotherapy as a
postgraduate student. At least initially, I was able to cry out to God
through my therapist the pain of these recent discoveries about myself. But I
can feel there’s more. What truly important is that, yes, “Awakening Desire”
has awakened my desire to encounter God more than ever. As Charles H. Spurgeon
said, “Great hearts can only be made
by great troubles.”
