Journaling,
writing, blogging or whatever we may desire to
First, it is
truly a HUMBLING experience. Forgiving someone whom you have thought to be the
last person to deeply hurt you by his unsubstantiated claims was really hard.
With his gentle but blatantly throat-cutting words, I felt judged, worthless,
and untrustworthy. He’s the greatest influencer in my eleven years’ journey
with the Lord Jesus Christ. I am who I am today largely because I have
internalized his teachings and principles from the scriptures! Again, those
words were entirely groundless and pure assumptions. He was like a mentor to
me! I look up highly to him! I believe you got my point.
Second, the
act of forgiveness is truly a PROCESS. The offense took place virtually a year
ago when I was moved by the Holy Spirit to do it. My heart was protesting but
my mind and body were united to go against it. Honestly, I still cannot believe
he did that and I am still hurting until today whenever I think of it.
But I am glad
God did it because lastly, the act of forgiveness when you are deeply wounded
can only be done by His GRACE. Whenever I think of those words he said, until
this moment I fail to understand how or why he did that. It cost our intimate relationship.
However, I chose to forgive him almost every day with a little hope that
restoration towards a sweeter relationship will happen soon. It taught me what
an elder told me a few times. The amount of grace you have received from the
Lord is the same grace you can bestow to others especially to those who hurt
you the most. Indubitably, I am so grateful to the abounding grace like an
ocean that God Himself has bestowed upon me over and over again. So, who am I
not to do so? But then again, it is difficult, however, by His grace it is
possible.
Yes,
through forgiveness reconciliation has taken place and largely, to a certain
degree, it has freed me from negative and unhealthy thoughts about him. Nevertheless,
as I tread on the path of 2019 towards my twelve years with Christ Jesus, my
prayer is that the Lord will allow me to see the remaining pain in a different
light. A new perspective that will usher me to become more like Him. That is to
do what is right always despite my pain and sinfulness simply because I love
Jesus above all. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see the SILVER LINING
through hurt and for teaching me more about humility and grace through the act
of forgiveness, especially when my heart says no. Truly, this is a lesson
worthy of living and remembering. A Blessed Happy New Year to all!
