(May 12, 2017)
As a freelance counselor and resource speaker for workshops, seminars, and training, earning comes apparently in uncertainty. At times, it is purely service, which means gratis. In short, there are times that I have, but there are also times that I don’t either working or not. Not that I am complaining about for it is work God has called me into. In fact, I am just simply amazed how the Lord truly works with my faith in this area of my journey with Him. Yet, there is one thing I find difficult not to do...worrying. I worry when uncertainty seems long enough and the resources look emptying out slowly.
However, this fear of running out with resources never happens. And as long as I continue to believe and hold on, I guess it will never happen. Okay, maybe you are one of those who always says that money should be the last or should never be a problem for someone who believes. I totally and completely got that. Believe me! But hey! I am just being honest. This is the reality. As fallen human beings, we have this proclivity to worry all the time. But this is not what I wanted to point out.
What the Lord has made me truly recognized through this calling and career ... is the joy of being able to give my tithes for every blessing I receive. Each Sunday when the time for tithes and offering comes and I have to hold the offering bag to pass it on to the next person, sometimes, I could not help but feel bad when I have no envelope to put in it. I remember when I used to have a regular salary a few years ago. It is so easy to take the tithe out and keep it for the coming Sunday. For you know that after a couple of weeks, there is a certain amount to be already received. Is there joy? Absolutely.
After five years of relying fully on God-given opportunities through these ministries and not knowing but somehow expecting that I would receive something ... the joy is quite different when finally, I would be able to give ... again after some time! There is more joy in it! In fact, lately, I realized that this has become my first thought – finally, I could give to God again! – especially when I received unexpectedly. More importantly, after nearly ten years in my journey with the Lord, this whole experience made me truly acknowledged one reality. That everything comes from God, whether you believe and like it or not. Even the smallest and almost ignorable talent, gift, skills, or abilities that we possess and use to earn, including the capacity to give ... is all because and comes from Him. For apart from Him, we are nothing (John 15:5). So don’t you dare take any credit for yourself, even if you pridefully feels like it.
Apparently, faith really shines and increases when you do not surely know that an opportunity or a blessing is coming. And when there is a tithe to be offered, which came through continuously “giving yourself” to others, the joy is even more and heartfelt. And then me, oh well ... let’s just say that I could not be any happier and contented despite tolerable worrying at times.