The Lord has been very good as for another successful "Channels of Hope" workshop was held last week in Baguio City.
It was a two days training for ADP staff and church partners consist of mostly pastors. There are 106 participants who came from different parts of northern and central Luzon. We have people from as far as Cagayan Valley and Isabela. Since the workshop is designed for a maximum of 30-35 participants, we divided them into three according to the area they are working.
Based on their evaluation and facial expressions, they are all blessed and happy to be a part of it. As for me, if they are blessed I am more blessed! Though the enemy was trying to steal some moment when he made me tripped off the stairs, butt first as I went to the other group to share my testimony! Well he can't stop me; I am alright though it gave me a bruise and now it's colored purple.
My mother and sister went with me to church last Sunday. They met everyone in the church including my adopted mother from Palawan and brother, and of course my Pastor and his wife. They have enjoyed the service and hopefully this will be the start of their journey with Christ.
God truly answers prayers. As a matter of fact, I am about to send my application to this job opening directly related to what I am currently doing for His kingdom. A church friend of mine informed me regarding this job via text message while I was in Baguio, hopefully this is God's answer to my prayer and I claim it in Jesus name.
To God be all the honor and glory! Amen.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Series of Poor Judgments
After that wonderful reunion with my friends last week, a series of poor judgments on my part happened. There are some lessons learned even without making mistakes but definitely inevitable for one event.
I have confessed this already to my few church friends including the pastor who disciples me. I became close to this guy I met during the HBC training. He's also HIV positive and he's broken hearted. In short, I became the rescuer of this person which should not have happened. We frequently talk to each other after that training until last Friday; I have spent a night with him at his place supposedly just to talk. We slept in one bed and then you probably know what took place the following morning, which makes him the fourth on the list. I believe I must stop counting because it's not doing me any good.
The poor judgment is when I decided to spend the night and sleep with him. Honestly, I came up with that decision because I myself feeling kind of lonely that time which made me vulnerable enough to loose self control. We should never trust our flesh for it remembers every pleasure we have experienced in the past that we want to forget and that's my mistake. I felt very disappointed and at the same time frustrated.
Confession to BP brothers during the support group last Saturday happened and then on Sunday to my church friends. Second poor judgment is when I still made the decision to meet this guy whom I also met during that training. Well I must admit I am attracted to him, he's the trainer in the session hall next to ours. We had a casual talk and we exchanged numbers. Wait! That's another poor judgment; I should not have done that! Sorry but can't help it.
Anyway, we had a dinner last Sunday with the intention of knowing the person a bit to melt away the mystery of attraction to him. I am quite disappointed for the following reasons. First, he's not the person I thought he was. Secondly, our conversation did not turn out the way I planned it because of how he had expressed himself. Supposedly, I was going to share some part of my life including my health condition but unfortunately it never happened. God has only shown me that there's no Mr. Right Guy to a guy.
The Lord knows in my heart that I am expecting him to come and then I will backslide. It will always be like this so I must stop this illusion and learn my lesson! Though I must say that there's still a physical attraction but I have surrendered it to God praying that it will simply go away. I am not planning neither to get in touch with him nor see him again.
Last poor judgment is when I talked to the guy who flirted with me on my way home that night. Nothing sinful happened but nevertheless I should have never entertained him. I was able to share my Christian life and how I became one and he was able to share his life to. I advised him not to get into a same sex relationship and go back to his wife; yes he's married with two kids.
God has only revealed to me through these events that same sex relationship is really out of his design and I must put an end to all these playing with my boundaries! We prayed for the consecration last Monday at the JREV night and I hope and pray that this will really straighten up my Christian walk for I am so sick and tired of falling into sexual sin over and over again and then asking for forgiveness.
I have no idea what God must be thinking but I still thank Him for His grace and mercy, and unconditional love. I will try harder to obey His teachings and ways according to His words. Brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray with me. Thank you.
I have confessed this already to my few church friends including the pastor who disciples me. I became close to this guy I met during the HBC training. He's also HIV positive and he's broken hearted. In short, I became the rescuer of this person which should not have happened. We frequently talk to each other after that training until last Friday; I have spent a night with him at his place supposedly just to talk. We slept in one bed and then you probably know what took place the following morning, which makes him the fourth on the list. I believe I must stop counting because it's not doing me any good.
The poor judgment is when I decided to spend the night and sleep with him. Honestly, I came up with that decision because I myself feeling kind of lonely that time which made me vulnerable enough to loose self control. We should never trust our flesh for it remembers every pleasure we have experienced in the past that we want to forget and that's my mistake. I felt very disappointed and at the same time frustrated.
Confession to BP brothers during the support group last Saturday happened and then on Sunday to my church friends. Second poor judgment is when I still made the decision to meet this guy whom I also met during that training. Well I must admit I am attracted to him, he's the trainer in the session hall next to ours. We had a casual talk and we exchanged numbers. Wait! That's another poor judgment; I should not have done that! Sorry but can't help it.
Anyway, we had a dinner last Sunday with the intention of knowing the person a bit to melt away the mystery of attraction to him. I am quite disappointed for the following reasons. First, he's not the person I thought he was. Secondly, our conversation did not turn out the way I planned it because of how he had expressed himself. Supposedly, I was going to share some part of my life including my health condition but unfortunately it never happened. God has only shown me that there's no Mr. Right Guy to a guy.
The Lord knows in my heart that I am expecting him to come and then I will backslide. It will always be like this so I must stop this illusion and learn my lesson! Though I must say that there's still a physical attraction but I have surrendered it to God praying that it will simply go away. I am not planning neither to get in touch with him nor see him again.
Last poor judgment is when I talked to the guy who flirted with me on my way home that night. Nothing sinful happened but nevertheless I should have never entertained him. I was able to share my Christian life and how I became one and he was able to share his life to. I advised him not to get into a same sex relationship and go back to his wife; yes he's married with two kids.
God has only revealed to me through these events that same sex relationship is really out of his design and I must put an end to all these playing with my boundaries! We prayed for the consecration last Monday at the JREV night and I hope and pray that this will really straighten up my Christian walk for I am so sick and tired of falling into sexual sin over and over again and then asking for forgiveness.
I have no idea what God must be thinking but I still thank Him for His grace and mercy, and unconditional love. I will try harder to obey His teachings and ways according to His words. Brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray with me. Thank you.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Gift of Friendship
Last Tuesday my two college friends who work abroad, a local worker college friend and I have met and the four of us ate lunch and shopped together half of the day.
It was a blessed day for me because finally I was able to tell them the truth about me without any fear of losing them. God has shown me once again how blessed I am with friends who are always ready to help and be there when I need them.
In short, the reunion went very well and they have understood and accepted me for what had happened and I have felt that our friendships are meant to last for a lifetime. I know you guys are reading this so let me say a million thanks to you. The Lord blesses you always and you will be in my prayers.
Thank you Lord for the wonderful gift of friends. I just hope and pray that my other old friends who are still clueless to the events of my life will have the same response. God bless you all.
It was a blessed day for me because finally I was able to tell them the truth about me without any fear of losing them. God has shown me once again how blessed I am with friends who are always ready to help and be there when I need them.
In short, the reunion went very well and they have understood and accepted me for what had happened and I have felt that our friendships are meant to last for a lifetime. I know you guys are reading this so let me say a million thanks to you. The Lord blesses you always and you will be in my prayers.
Thank you Lord for the wonderful gift of friends. I just hope and pray that my other old friends who are still clueless to the events of my life will have the same response. God bless you all.
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