Year 2009 started off my second year as a Christian and I have decided to start my third year remembering what happened in the past year and writing a few resolutions for 2010.
First and foremost, I am very thankful for the faithfulness and incomparable love God has shown me. Being allowed to meet a lot of people in the Christian community and minister then be a blessing to them while doing the "Channels of Hope" in the HIV and AIDS ministry is truly a joyful and wonderful experience. Regardless how exhausting it was but the transformation of the participants and the passion it created into their hearts after learning the truth about this pandemic is an utmost importance in reducing the stigma and discrimination. Some of them began executing their plans.
I am grateful for each opportunity that God gives me to share what He has done into my life whatever the result maybe. I am thankful that God is continuously using me in this ministry. This is the first thing I asked from Him when I became His son more than a couple of years ago.
The Lord has allowed me to work for a few months in this Christian NGO and I have learned a lot from this job. I believe this is just a preparation for something better and bigger.
I had an incredible time and experience doing the adolescent reproductive health with HIV & AIDS awareness program and spearheading its pilot testing and training the first batch of facilitators.
Though the latter part of the year was not good, still I am thankful for the things God had taught me through these failures. From falling into a series of sexual sins after almost seventeen months of celibacy, going through an emotional co-dependency for the first time which I am still working out, up to waiting for a new job after my contract has ended; God has been with me all through out even I was not with Him.
The imperative lesson I have learned is that, everyday is a day of submission to God Almighty and never trusting my self especially on the area of my SSA struggle. Yielding to Him every part of my life and believing that He is at work even when I am not faithful is a must.
God has taught me to be more patient and incessantly seek direction and instructions from Him. Lastly, God has reminded me that in all things He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose for I am more than a conqueror. Romans 8:28.
Before the year has ended, God has spoken to me through my life net group. The Lord has given me Deuteronomy 31 which can be summarized into this, "be courageous and strong for you must go with this people into the land God has promised and the Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you so do not be terrified and discouraged." I believe this has something to do with the discipleship that He's asking me to do.
He also gave me Joshua 3, "consecrate yourself for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things in you." This one is telling me that I must take my Christian walk very seriously, be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I will be able to test and approve His good, pleasing and perfect will for me as mentioned in Romans 12:2.
God knows there are few risky things in the gay lifestyle which I have not tried that I am curious to try and I surmise, God wants me to give it up and totally offer myself as a living sacrifice. Well I have decided to surrender it to Him, remove it from my mind and not do it and made a promise to consecrate myself for Him but this time to be fully dependent and trust in Him.
Lord grant that this year I may be more holy and walk more closely than ever in all holy conversation. I earnestly desire to be filled with thy holy thoughts to be carried out in holy affections, determined by holy aims and intentions and governed in all my words and actions by holy principles. Oh that golden thread of holiness may run through the whole web of this year.
This is Matthew Henry's New Year's prayer, this is my prayer and may this be yours too. Happy New Year to all!
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