D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Monday, March 3, 2014

37th Birthday and Many Others


Several things have occurred since the last time I posted here so let me reflect on them one by

one.


First, I have my first couple counseling from the church that began late last year. It was going well even if it’s a bit challenging for they are my close friends until something happened. One person and then a couple whom they were trusting to betrayed them with one of the issues we were working on. I am the kind of person who highly value trust and confidentiality hence, this unexpected event has affected me. It made me realize that even some devout Christians can be blinded and commit wrong move by confessing someone else’s issue to church leaders that could affect relationship without thinking the effect of their action. And the result…conflict and broken trust and friendship.

Second, I got invited again, that’s second month in a row, to speak before the young people of this small church in Pasig on “Preparing While Waiting” for their Valentine Masquerade Ball. Indeed it was truly a blessing for many who heard God’s message through me, got inspired and felt very happy including the pastor of the church. The young people were still raving about it and the event after few more days according to my pastor friend. Personally, I was also blessed by the message the Lord has led me to prepare. This was followed immediately by a very fruitful and heart warming conversation over coffee with my newly found BFF from the school just sharing some deepest core of our lives. All these deserve honoring and praising God!

Third, finally I was able to meet one the followers of this blog who was in need of a brother to share his life with now that he is HIV+ like me. Similarly it was a blessed time for this young man for he is carrying this new challenge in his life very well. Thank you Lord for using this online journal to help and inspire other people. This is all for your glory Lord.

Fourth, truly when God use you as a channel of His blessings, the enemy is always at work to bring you down. The cross of SSA struggle was a bit difficult for me these past few weeks in the midst of all these events and school stuff. Whether in thoughts, in heart or in action, sin is sin and I have not been victorious in any of these three areas. But there’s no turning back…I have committed my life to Him and as long as His grace and mercy and His forgiveness flows, I will never ever give up on myself for I know Jesus will never give up on me. I have been dealing with some disappointments from the church aside from the above-mentioned incident. I learned I was not part of the church leadership anymore without giving me enough reasons. I know my shortcoming if there is but I just wish it was explained. I guess I need to apply my own teaching in “Dealing with Disappointments” early this year and have to wait on this and watch myself out from unhealthy thoughts and feelings. Well, God has a purpose for everything and that I put my trust.

With all these that have happened, I actually broke down to tears when a good friend of mine from the church simply asked how was I a couple of Sundays ago. I surmise everything has bottled up inside that I needed to let it out so thank God for his shoulder to cry on and for the comforting hug. Bless you brother!

And lastly, well it is my 37th birthday today! Thank you God for the 37 years of gift of life. I did not realize that I could reach this age after what happened to me eight years ago. The best thing that ever happened to me was getting to know the Lord and be chosen in spite of my unworthiness to be a part and be in service of His Kingdom. Thank You Lord for everything especially for continuously upholding me in your right hand.

And to all the followers and readers of this blog…thank you and God bless!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hello how r u, i am happy by reading your post things are going well for you, by the way im also hiv+ and for 3 years been undetectable my last test viral load went up to 920 copies/ml and cd4 went from 635 to 512 is this normal im so stressed out as i really dint want to change my meds, has this ever happen to you? where viral load came up and went back down?

E L R o i said...

I am not sure if this is normal...the possibility that your ARV is not working anymore and you became resistant to it....or did you have any unprotected sex? I am thinking of re-infection..or better yet, consult your doctor. thanks for reading my blog...God bless :)