In the remembering phase the person is considering when and how he might have become infected. What about previous sexual partners - who infected him? Or could he have been the cause of infecting any previous sexual partners? Must he go back to these partners and tell them that he tested positive (which is by the way, highly recommended)? Will he have the courage to do so?
During this phase the HIV positive person is struggling with himself. This person might be questioning his own lifestyle and while questioning his own lifestyle, the person becomes very sensitive to any judgmental attitudes from people around him.
What is the first question person normally ask when they hear someone is HIV positive? The answer would be: "Where did he get it?" Why do we ask this? People normally want to determine: Guilty or not guilty? Who we are to judge? Have you never made any choices in your life that you now regret? What difference would it make to know how the person got infected? It could only lead to stigma, discrimination and a judgmental attitude. The fact is: the person is now HIV positive - he now needs to know that we will not reject him. This is the last question you should ever ask.
Source: "Channels of Hope" workshop manual.