D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Saturday, June 27, 2009

15th Month

Last June 20th marked the 15th month of my vow to Jesus to consecrate myself for Him.

For some people, what I am doing seems to be incredulous and peculiar but all I can say is that it is indeed really possible by God's grace alone. No one can celibate on his own, God's intervention is highly involved.

I must admit as well that I miss having sexual intimacy with a man I am physically attracted to and God knows that for I always tell it to Him and ask Him to turn these sinful desires into a fire burning for Jesus. It is very hard and I almost came to the point that I want to give in to temptations but thank God for His grace is sufficient.

Again I don't know until when I could do this for Jesus but I hope and pray until I get married simply because I don't want to grieve the Holy Spirit by committing this detestable act. Oh God but you know that I still have this desire for this certain man and I yield it to you for I do not want it.

Thank you God for all the blessings for I do believe I have a life God truly blesses. Shalom!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Bro. Elroi! I do know how much suffering you're going through in following Jesus by not giving in to sexual sins. But I am sure that as the days, weeks and months pass by that we continue to battle and win these sinful desires, we will gain more and more control over them until such time that we do not have to struggle anymore because these will completely lose their hold on us. Let us just continue to walk and seek God's grace... God bless!

Rajsh said...

Hi, just dropped by to say...

I prayed for you. Nakaka-bless at inspiring ang life mo! I hope you will indeed grow more inlove and devoted sa Kanya, at tanging sa Kanya lang!

Blessings to you... Ü

E L R o i said...

To Rajsh and Anonymous, thank you so much for the prayers and words of encouragement coz I really need those....God bless you both.

Little Love said...

Hello po. Can I call you kuya? Na-enlighten po ako sa life story nyo po and how you continuously surpass the struggle. I know God is always with us. He is our "Great Emmanuel". Lately din po, I was very exhausted of the possibility of being positive. I've been searching all over the internet for early symptoms. I've been paranoid. Last June 23, I went to a gynecologist and had my first pap smear. I asked for a request to be referred for an hiv test and vdrl. I had the tests two days after meeting with my doctor. Now, I'm waiting for my results, praying hard to God that He'll help me. I'm scared. I'm still young, full of dreams but I'm holding strong to God.

E L R o i said...

Thank you little love for sharing a bit of what you're going through and for visiting my blog site I really appreciate it. Yes you can call me Kuya and let's pray in Jesus name that the result of your test will be negative or non-reactive....God bless!

little love said...

Thanks po, kuya. Tension po talaga nararamdaman ko. Takot din. Di na alam gagawin at iisipin.

little love said...

kuya, ask ko po.. i was given a flu vaccine a year ago and a hpv vaccine last june 6 before I got tested for HIV last June 25. Will those vaccine shots affect the result of my test? Baka po kasi mag-false positive. May nabasa po kasi ako article sa net. I hope you can help me. Thank you.

E L R o i said...

i am not sure about the details on that but based on what i know those vaccines has nothing to do with the would be result of your test kasi they are immunization for a totally different virus.....in case you're doubt about your HIV result, you can repeat it after 3-6 months to make sure....always look for a second opinion or test because I did that after 6 months from my first diagnosis.....God bless!

little love said...

kuya, i got my result.. nonreactive po. do i have to get the test again?

E L R o i said...

congratulations.....it's your prerogative but to make it sure....abstain for 6 months then get tested....