For the past few weeks I have been feeling this new desire in me. A desire to have a relationship with a woman and to get married!
I've got a crush on this beautiful girl in our church but every time I see and talk to her, the more my desire to be with her intensifies. If you're going to ask me, I like her to be my wife but if God has other girl for me I pray that she'll be like her or even better. This girl knows everything about me and we're very close friends now. Lord knows that I am satiated being a single and serving Him because of my health condition but if it His will for me to have a wife and a family then so be it God; but please prepare my heart and soul for this. This is totally unfamiliar to me.
I do not know God's reason why on earth the book "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris is in my hands and currently reading the 5th chapter. It's about courtship with a purpose that will eventually lead to a God-blessed marriage, like a match made in heaven. God knows I am not ready for this so I have decided to enjoy the book and learn from it. Also I will just enjoy my friendship with this girl pro tempore.
Totally healed from sexual brokenness is what I want when I get into a relationship with a woman but it does not seem the God's plan for me. I believe He will give me a partner who will help me in this healing process.
Honestly, I am a little scared but happy and excited! Could this be the time where God is gradually changing my heart? I hope this kind of feeling perpetuates. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ! Shalom!