I am very glad that I have chosen to do the right things which is not to have sex with the two guys I have mentioned in my previous blog. To choose Jesus is not easy especially if you already made your decision not to.
Though I've made up my mind, I told it to the people I am accountable with except to my pastor though he found out later on so that they can pray for me hoping that by some miracle my decision will be changed. Sunday last week I prayed for that miracle and it happened. The Lord has spoken to me about freedom and that's when I realized that Jesus has freed me long time ago. All I have to do is to live by that freedom. In short, I have painfully changed my decision not to do it and chose Jesus instead.
Not only that, I also have decided to do most of the restitution God has asked me to do back in Baguio during the Nazarite training. I asked forgiveness and told the truth about my HIV status to almost all of the guys I have sex with after my diagnosis. They have forgiven me and thank God they are negative!
I have to do the remaining restitution in the coming weeks for I have decided to live holy and pure and will try not to have even a hint of sexual immorality of course with the aid of God's grace, Ephesians 5:3.
Bitter victory because I literally cried inside and out over the death to this desire miserably and I know that temptations will always be there to test me. Sweet victory because I believed I have pleased God and I have felt I am really free from this bondage, hoping and praying that I will be stronger for the succeeding battle. This victory has given me the courage to do the restitution I must do for I strongly believed God has given me the grace to do it.
One of these two guys sympathized with me upon learning my situation. We talked personally and I ended up sharing with him the goodness that the Lord has done so far in my life. God is really good all the time. Thank you Jesus!