The first 31 days of 2013 has passed fleetingly and a lot of
great things happened already.
On the second week of last month, I have shared my testimony
through a “lifeline” in one of our class in an almost quite detail. More people
now know my HIV status, my homosexual or SSA struggle, and the ministry God has
involved me in relation to these two. Revealing the “real” me under my identity
in Christ is always liberating, rewarding and brings healing through
relationships. People have appreciated it and they were all blessed.
For two consecutive days last week, I shared again “God’s
story” through the life He has given to me to few pastors of PCEC to advocate
on HIV&AIDS Channels of Hope. Many were called but very few were chosen to
participate and listen to us, and eventually realized the serious role of
church in the HIV&AIDS ministry.
On the personal side, I have received a prophetic word from
the Lord through one of our church elders. This year I will be alone in Him for
God will remove (hopefully temporarily) the people I lean on and it will be
just me and God, that I will be able to say that ‘God is my delight’. His
Spirit will explode and I will fall in love more with Jesus. I guess it is
starting to takes place.
This week alone, I have encountered God’s presence twice
already or perhaps even more than that. When I woke up two mornings ago, upon
greeting the Lord and say my regular morning prayer to begin my day, immediately
I felt his presence as I turned on the TV and saw the episode I missed from one
my favorite series lately! It was like God telling me that even in the simplest
and smallest desires of our hearts, He can hear it and He answers. Truly God
can speak to us in anyway He can! Tears were flowing endlessly for almost an
hour as I continue reading His words for the day after uttering my morning
prayer. This morning, virtually the same thing happened! After praying while
preparing my breakfast and as I read today’s word from ‘God’s Little Devotional
Book’, His message to me was that, He is a TRUE friend to me, whom I can always
count on regardless of what I have done. He is not interested with my
explanations on why I have done this or that for He is a friend to me no matter
what. ‘When I have made a fool out of myself, God does not feel I have done a
permanent job.’ Again, all these made me broke into tears.
Tomorrow, I will be sharing again what God has done and still doing into my
life. This time, the focus is where God’s grace is enormously present and truly
heals me, which is my sexual brokenness, the SSA struggle. For the past almost
five years of testifying to God’s grace through the Channels of Hope HIV
ministry, I have been excluding this part of my life. And last year up to early
this year, God has spoken to me very clearly that I do not have to hide it
because of the shame I am feeling towards it. It is time to really give up my
reputation to Him and tell His story that He is writing, without shame, through
this brokenness. ‘A changed of heart to love him with all my heart and soul so
that I may live is His word for me! (Deut. 30:6-9) And I will obey all His
commands and He will make me successful in everything that I do!’ Of course,
who am I not to claim joyfully and prayed deeply into my heart that I will
truly be able to do this by His grace?
Again, the Lord can use any medium He wants to accomplish
His purpose for His glory because the person who invited me to speak met me
through this blog! I feel so blessed and very happy to meet this couple. I can feel
strongly that God is up to something big!
Not only that, I am still waiting for confirmation but I
might also share in a forum next week. With all these things happening in the
midst of being a full time student with so much school requirements to finish,
I really appreciate your prayers if you can do so.
Each day I ask God to take over and take charge of my life
and lead me every step of the way for I do not want to go either left or right.
I just desire to walk at the center of His will and everyday submission to Him
is the best way to make it through!
Shalom everyone!
4 comments:
keep your focus. you are on the right track. May our GOD bless you on your vocation.
Thanks my dear brother Max! God bless you and your family :)
My dear brother,
Reading your post really charged me up. So good to hear that prophetic word concerning you. I say that because of late I have been having that same conviction that God desires me to be alone with him. To rest in His love and let His love be all I need. Your words here have encouraged me so much. I was reading Psalm 51 yesterday and God showed me where I had been in the past in a new light. I am undeserving of His love, grace and mercy but still He chose me to be His child. I sunk so far in the past, was a hypocrite in front of others, sinned against my body/temple that God created me with. "Yet He loved me, still He loves me, praise His Holy Name."
I am so excited for you. God bless and keep you strong in Him.
Amen Brother! Thank you very much and God bless :)
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