D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Jehovah Shammah in Bangkok

It's my first trip abroad for this year and my third time to visit Bangkok, Thailand. Almost exactly the same time as last year when I visited this foreign land for the first time with the same purpose which is doing the "Channels of Hope " Training the Facilitators as part of the training team, only this time I acted as the lead trainer instead of being an assistant trainer!

For me this is some sort of promotion from the Lord. It was nearly three years since I was trained to be a facilitator and now I am taking bigger responsibilities. I really thanked God for the wisdom, confidence, strength and guidance from Him as I took this role. God sustained all the training team members for the whole duration of this learning event.

Once again, all of us there experienced God's presence. On the third day when I shared my testimony, it's more emotional compared to my previous trainings. Even prior to that session, the Lord was there or "Jehovah Shammah", for some of the participants realized how broken we are as a human being and only God can break us on His own unique way!

Since that day up to the last day of the training, God's presence was there! Twenty four new facilitators of God's hope went home grateful and felt very blessed! They were from Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines, New Zealand, US, Finland, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Cambodia, Indonesia and Bangladesh.

The Lord has also allowed me to take some time off after this strenuous training. I went with my friend to visit this disco club where most gay guys in Bangkok hangout. I know this was some kind of putting myself in danger and it was an unwise decision but I have proven that God is with me everywhere I go.

I have seen different good looking guys from different parts of the world and most of them are my type kind of men. But He made me realized one thing, it's not worth to have all these guys for He have shown me that all these people are His lost sons who need His light and love! Also I realized that my attraction to men has been diminished that I can just let go of them. Hopefully this will continue and lead to something I am actually destined for which is becoming the man that God wants me to be.

Well, God's name has been exalted and praised in this event once again and I am giving back all the honor, praises and glory to Him in the name of our dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Jehovah Shammah!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

CoH in Surigao

Belated Happy Valentines Day to everyone!

After God blessed us with a victorious workshop two weeks ago in Ormoc City, He did the same thing in Surigao City last week.

I called it an "answered prayer" week for the Lord has granted all my prayers for that particular week. First He gave us a sunny weather for it was a pretty rainy week prior to the event. Secondly, we had a very relaxed and enjoyable flight back and forth.

Lastly, it was another successful workshop! Twenty eight new channels of God's hope we're so blessed to become a part of this learning experience. Moreover, the team was able to enjoy the delicious food the city offers!

I just want to thank the Lord and give back all the honor, glory and praises to Him for all these blessings! You are really a faithful God!

Next is Bangkok, Thailand.

Monday, February 7, 2011

CoH in Ormoc

It's my first trip for 2011 last week and first time to visit Ormoc City but for "Channels of Hope" or CoH it was the second time already.

We had thirty two participants who attended and finished the first phase of the HOPE program which is the sensitization. Once again God has touched the lives of these group of people on how He pulled me out of darkness, gave me a new life and continuously changing me to become the man He intended me to be.

This time I can say it's one of the best testimony I gave, I felt that I have said all the right words that these people needs to hear. I was also blessed how they responded and really experienced God's presence.

God is truly with us always; like my pastor preached last Sunday, Jehovah Shammah which means God is there!

The picture shown in this article is the photo of the hotel lobby where we stayed and did the workshop.

Friday, January 28, 2011

First CoH for 2011

Last week, I led the facilitation of the first "Channels of Hope" workshop for the year 2011.

Originally it was intended for my colleagues at the office but unfortunately only nine have attended. We invited church partners and representatives from other NGO or non-government organizations and the event yielded twenty five new channels of God's hope to those who are infected and affected by HIV and AIDS.

It's also the first time that somebody from my own church have witnessed what I actually do in this ministry. Perhaps it could be one of the reasons why I got a little extra emotional during my testimony but I was thinking more of my devotion in the morning that day. God made me realized how much He loves me through the parable of the prodigal son.

My tears just flowed freely and I thought I can't stop crying. That usually happens when God really touched my heart.

Anyway, the workshop was indeed a success praise be to God. I am serving the Lord in this ministry for almost three years now and God has remained faithful and good whenever I do this.

Sometimes I still ask Him why He has chosen me. A chief sinner with a quite difficult struggle to deal with but being used by God mightily to bless His people, how ironic isn't it? But for God, it's not for He always choose the most unlikely.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

God's Trick

I guess the PR or Pityriasis Rosea which I considered as God's trick that will keep me from acting out my sinful desires did not work after all.

How stupid of me to think that this skin rash all over my body will keep the guys away from me. Last week I have decided to meet this guy in person finally with the thought of just plain talking. We had a good conversation over the internet and the more he knows me the more he's interested to see me. Also there's attraction and desire to meet him that I can't ignore which pushed me to end up seeing him.

In short, I fell into the enemy's trap. He insisted that I pick him up at the office where he works only to find out that we were alone in that place. And it happened right then and there.

Again after several months of clean living I have failed Jesus and it's killing me. But there's one thing I realized, I thought that if I did it again I will go back to my old sinful lifestyle. I will backslide.....but I was wrong. I realized that I cannot turn my back on God. Instantaneously I have confessed and asked for His grace and forgiveness. I thank and praise God for that.

Knowing that I can no longer live this life without the Lord Jesus Christ caused me to hold on to Him more. When you experienced God's love and faithfulness in unfathomable way, you will realize that you really need Jesus to live this life righteously and that's what occurred to me.

God affirmed me through Lamentations 3:22-23. His compassion fails not for they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. Everyday is a brand new start for us to get ourselves right with God. Truly our gracious God is a God if second chances!

Not only have I failed Jesus, also my Pastor and my mentor, and probably some of you and my friends. God has forgiven me. I am sorry.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Pityriasis Rosea

Two weeks before Christmas last year, I started to have a slight fever every afternoon and evening then I'll be normal on the following day. After all the laboratory tests and x-rays, nothing was found.

A week before Christmas, the low fever was gone but then I started to have small red spots on my skin, chest area first then it proliferated to arms, legs and neck and some parts on my face gradually. By the way, it's not me on this photo.

I was thinking of allergy at first or probably my CD4 has gone low that's why I have these rashes. After seeing the dermatologist last week, the diagnosis came out and it's PR or Pityriasis Rosea.

According to the doctor, it's a common rash that can occur to any young adults (majority occur to ages 10-35) and has nothing to do with my HIV status. It usually occurs more often in the colder months.

It resolves on its own but the doctor asked me to take erythromycin for 2 weeks, put clobetasol and aveeno on infected areas and get some UV rays for at least 10-20 minutes every day. The rashes will disappear six to eight weeks.

I just hope and pray to have my skin back to normal, good health as I take new challenges in my work and ministry and a victorious journey with the Lord this year 2011! I guess this is one of God's trick for keeping me from acting out my evil desires, I hope not.

A blessed year to everyone!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The Year 2010 in Review

The past year was indeed a very good and fruitful year for me. If I am going to enumerate each and every blessings God has poured unto me, the space won't definitely be enough so I'll just mention the major ones.

As early as February, I was given an opportunity to be a part of the training team in Bangkok for the Training of Facilitators. It was the second country I have visited. That was also the time and place where a job I have prayed and applied for was offered to me by my future boss then and mentor.

June came and I went on board as the Coordinator for Asia Pacific Region and the Philippines for this non government organization. The remuneration was more than I've expected as well as the amount of time I have to spend traveling.

Two months after God sent me to India, the third country on my list and then after another a couple of months I went to Kenya, Africa all for the same purpose of learning and being a part of the training team. Only in India where God have shown me the bigger picture of what I am doing currently for His kingdom but all these trips were very memorable.

Also I was able to see and visit Zamboanga, Davao, Cebu, Iloilo and General Santos, gained new friends while doing the ministry in the country.

Above all, a good health in spite of the busy schedule and traveling, the restoration of my relationship with my father, very supportive church and friends and co-ministry workers, and time to relax and rest in between are some of the major things I am very grateful and thankful to our dear Lord.

God has been and will always be good and a loving father. I am sure He has a lot more in store for me and for everyone else. Let us just continue to yield and entrust our lives to Him, do our best to obey Him and deepen our relationship with Him.

Have a very happy and prosperous New Year brothers and sisters! God bless you all!