Since Saturday I've been sick and feeling kind of sad. I had fever last weekend but now it's gone. My doctor asked me to do the CBC lab test yesterday and the result was a bit off from normal. She asked me to do it again today and the result has a very little improvement, some of the parameters were ok while the others were not. Though the important parameters were within normal limits such as hemoglobin, I look pale and feel weak probably because of some irregularities in the result. I need to get plenty of rest.
Normally after Sunday church service, I am spiritually uplifted and strong but last Sunday was different. The answer to my prayer for a job has not come yet and I am running out of money. Yesterday my sister has confirmed that she's pregnant without the father planning to marry her for a stupid reason that he's not the first guy who had sex with her! I told my sister that, that stupid moron does not love her coz if he does her past should not be an issue. That is a fact that my poor sister can't seem to understand. I don't want to think that she's stupid or crazy but she knew from the start all of this and yet she got herself pregnant by that stupid guy! I have prayed this to God even before but perhaps God has other plan and now, we don't know how are we going to deal this stupidity in time. Currently, I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually weak and drained. Last night, I cried for all of these to God and begged Him to talk to me while I was talking to my good friend doctor on the phone. She even prayed for me and reminded me that I need to take care myself and not think too much stressing myself.
"Lord I know you are well aware of everything about me and all of these sufferings and it's ok; coz I have you and you're with me. Please give me enough strength and wisdom on how to face all of these. May you oh Lord show me the right direction to take and please forgive me if I was disheartened by your silence even though you already informed me two Sundays ago that I am in my own "three days" and I have to wait. This is a test of my faith to you oh God and I am very sorry if I am becoming impatient. Please heal me from my sickness for you are a God of healing. I am lifting up to you my Lord all of my needs and all of me, in Jesus name I prayed. Amen."
Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Trust Him. Somehow I know that there's a place up above with no more hurt and struggling, free of all atrocities and suffering. Because I feel the unconditional love from one who cares enough for me. To erase all my burdens and let me be free to fly like a bird, take to the sky. I need you now Lord, carry me high. Don't let the world break me tonight I need the strength of you by my side. Sometimes this life can be so cold, I pray you'll come and carry me home. He said, "He will never forsake you or leave you alone." Trust Him. I need you right here right now, Lord. I need you right here by my side. Keep your head up to the sky, with God's love you'll survive. Carry me higher Jesus.