D R . E L R O I


Monday, May 5, 2008

Homosexuality Part 13


Sorry for the interruption of the series on homosexuality, I just can't ignore everything that happened to me yesterday so albeit I'm a bit tired and sleepy I have posted it here last night.

After submission, displacement is the next step. It means putting off old ways that will affect the change that you want and putting on new ways or things that will greatly help us to really change. Displacement is the idea that one thing pushes out or dislodges another.

I know it is impossible to simply put something out of our lives without another thing taking its place for there is no neutral ground; we are in a battleground of two opposing forces. But please also think that you have the brain to determine which is right from wrong or which is evil from good. Since you have decided to leave homosexuality, you need to remove all things in your life that has something to do with this lifestyle and replace it with something new. Yes it will definitely include leaving gay friends which I exactly did, especially those who are saying that I can not do it. I have replaced them with new Christian friends who are in the same situation like mine; who will help me to be triumphant in this walk with Jesus Christ.

You need to stop chatting through guys4men or other gay websites, throw away all your collections of gay porn magazines, DVD or VCD; stop cruising in the mall for SEB and going to gay bars. You need to remove in your life everything that contributes to your gay lifestyle and replace it with new things. What are these new things? I think I have mentioned them in Part 6 and these are bible study, prayer, fellowship and service, concern for others, and scripture memorization. It is God's words that we used against temptations. It is also vital that we have both spiritual and social interaction with our fellow Christians. Social times must not be neglected but only with the right people.

A change of mind must also be done. Feed your mind with stuff that will help you grow as a new you to displace your old mind frame. Returning to old haunts, listening once again to gay conversations, remembering past sexual encounters; all this brings on hopelessness, a feeling of failure that things will never really change. Even if a sexual encounter has not taken place, just returning to the old environment exposes one to vibes which can strongly influence and reinforce old attitudes and desires.

Remember always that God always forgives us when we stumble, but this does not waive the penalty that our actions have brought upon us; displacement is clearly our responsibility. Ambivalence must be seen as an enemy to change so the option of homosexuality must be firmly closed.

The book also said that the music you listen to should be replaced also, at first I disagreed. But when I listened to Christian music that expresses praise, joy and the power of God, there is a great healing. It gives new positive associations that build our faith. Just give up worldly music that contains explicit sexual languages and just listen to wholesome songs ok? As for me, I love and enjoy Christian music now whether you believe it or not.

Self-pity indicates self-centeredness. You should wholeheartedly follow the first commandment which is to love God above all. Put God on the throne and not our lives for putting self on the center destroys our lives. God must be our first priority and His interests. If that happens, much healing takes place.

Immaturity must be changed to maturity. We should not avoid the trials that bring growth in our lives, tough decisions must be made. Maturity is standing for the Lord against others at times and often against our own selfish desires. Yesterday our pastor in his preaches told us that in this world, everybody is in two kind of suffering. You can choose to suffer for the Lord just to live righteously or the world suffering which is more of suffering for yourself.

We have not been given a spirit of fear, so fear not for the Lord is with us. We have been given the power over the enemy which is the power of Christ. We are to use this power and not hide in fear, we need to take charge.

Lastly are resentments. Forgiveness includes forgiving others and ourselves as well. Anger, hostility, resentment and the desire for retaliation have no place in the new life that we want which is the Christian life.

Perhaps the hardest thing to put off is the homosexual identity. Remember that we have chosen this identity because this is what we think who we are; but deep inside of our hearts we are really against it. If you think that the gay identity held comfort and security, I don't think you can let it go but it must go now. It must be cast off and the identity "Christian" put on.

Displacement is about building a new lifestyle. As long as we look to the old lifestyle as a source of pleasure, acceptance, entertainment, or an anchor for our identity, change will not take place. The new lifestyle is built on simple things like having a positive spirit and welcoming Jesus into all areas of our lives. It takes more than a small amount of courage to walk into the unknown, face tough decisions and build a dependent relationship with Jesus Christ.

Our lives will change to the degree that we encourage growth, filling our minds with the things of God. If we lack wisdom as to what things need to be changed, God will amply supply that also.

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