This is a letter by Frank Worthen to a non-Christian gay which can be found on the 16th chapter of his book. Let me share it to you.
Like you, I have had a lifelong struggle with homosexuality. I know what it means to be different, to be rejected and to cause pain to others because of your orientation. Despite what some may think, we didn't just one day decide to be homosexual. Your opinion of how you become gay may differ from mine and that's okay, but I think you will agree that you didn't ask for it. We live in an imperfect world and unfair things happen. No doubt you fought a battle with homosexual impulses, then give in and decided that you could never win. It was impossible to change, and you had to accept what you are.
Yes, for us it is an impossible battle one will never win. This has caused us to make several mistakes that have widened the gap between us and the heterosexual world. The first mistake is in accepting our orientation and defending our way of life.
To accept one's affliction and champion its cause is to call good evil and evil good. It is counterproductive and locks us into a lifestyle that brings unhappiness and defeat.
As our sexual interests developed and we looked to people of the same sex to meet our needs, we encouraged our responses and widened the scope of our affliction. We must bear responsibility for nurturing our problem. Another mistake is having closed the option for a heterosexual life. We have embraced the chains that bound us and have abandoned any idea of freedom. Most of us have avoided all social interaction that would have encouraged a heterosexual development.
So where are you this day? Perhaps you have found your adjustment; you are relatively happy in the gay lifestyle. You may think that you are no different from your heterosexual counterpart, no better or no worse. If offered freedom from your homosexual lifestyle, you probably first, wouldn't believe it, and second, would not want to make an adjustment now that things are comfortable with you the way they are.
We do learn to live within parameters we are given. Until motivation for change comes into our lives, we continue as we are. But there is someone who does break into our lives, who calls us when we are at that special point in time where we can listen to the caller. The One who calls is the One who made us in the first place. Scripture says that God knew us before we were conceived. Whether you accept this or not, God did not create us gay. It is not His design that we continue in a lifestyle contrary to His pattern for mankind. God saw that we all were living in poverty, poverty of spirit as well as poverty of peace and joy. He sent Jesus to live in this world. Jesus saw our condition and He wept over it. It is so far from what He intended to be.
Jesus saw that we couldn't help ourselves, that left alone we will self-destruct. He knew for us it was an impossible battle. This is why He called us to Himself. He said that He will walk beside us, providing the strength and power we need to turn back to His perfect way. He did not say that we would not suffer while the changes are being made, but He did say that He will never leave us or forsake us. He will guide us throughout the difficult times.
At sometime in your life, Jesus is going to call you. It may be now, it may be later. But He calls every person at some point in their life. To answer the call means to surrender all, to acknowledge that you need help and to humbly accept His hand as He pulls you up out of the pit.
Jesus did this for me many years ago, and I have never regretted it one day since. When we live without fulfillment and inner peace, we become indifferent to its existence. But once we have found it, we know that we have been missing something very important in our lives and would never go back to our old life.
Does becoming a Christian frighten you? Do you immediately fear the thought of having to give up sex? Of course it's frightening; facing the unknown always causes anxiety. All ex-gays have had to face this. Many, however, have found that their fears are groundless. God has given them a new experience, that of sex within the will of God: Sex in marriage. Others have found that "celibacy" is not a dirty word. God provides a gift of celibacy for those who are not ready for marriage. Up to now, I have found peace and joy in leading a celibate lifestyle. This may sound strange, but God takes care of His own. He does not torment us, but pours out rich blessings from His heart.
I encourage you to seek out a Christian friend and ask him about Jesus. Find out what it means to have someone whose love for you is eternal, someone who did not come to condemn you and to judge you, but to lift you up, not put you down. Jesus is the brother we never had, the lover we could never find. He is the One who cares. You may reject Him but as long as you live, He will never reject you. He offers a new way of life, on His terms. Consider it, I did and I am going to be eternally grateful to Him for it.
In His Love,
Frank Worthen is now happily married to Anita Thomas on November 24, 1984.