First Step - Making The Crucial Decision
It is not easy for the homosexual person to decide that God has spoken against homosexuality and to agree to embark on the long and difficult road to change. I can truly attest to that. The church at large is not being helpful in guiding the former homosexual toward a new and different lifestyle. A segment of the church is advancing the idea that the scriptural injunctions against homosexuality were written for ancient culture and offer nothing of value for today's world.
Large numbers of people struggling with homosexuality are being advised by pastors or priests to adjust to that lifestyle, though they are admonished to live as respectably as possible as a homosexual person.
To step out of homosexuality should be our decision alone. If we made that decision surely it will be challenged time after time. If our decision was based on pleasing others except God, it will not be strong enough to endure the hardships and rough times ahead. This motivation will be insufficient and will fail during times of testing, we will find ourselves saying: "I only did it to please my parents (or others)."
We believed that there are two forces out there which influence our actions: the good and evil. Standing against both the subtle and blatant messages of the world, we must gain wisdom and learn to discern the workings of both forces especially the workings of the Devil. Satan brings pressure to bear on us in times of need. He distorts and magnifies the problems, widening the gap between us and God. He moves on us when we are weak and troubled. He knows the longing of our hearts like deep needs for touch, intimacy and a person to understand us but he sends something that will hurt or destroy us like a lover for example.
Satan is a liar. Each sexual encounter we have only increases our appetite for more. He keeps telling us it will be better next time which actually is not true. While sexual encounters may have been satisfying for the moment, we are left still unfulfilled and still searching for some elusive ingredient that will make the intimacy last. Homosexuals are deceived that the hope for the person we have been seeking is just around the corner. Yet, it never happens, the endless search continues. Clearly, each sexual encounter tightens the grip of homosexuality. The more experiences we have, the more trapped we become. We are left with raging desires that can never find peace or satisfaction.
Human nature being what it is; people tend to seek the easy way, the way of escape, the way of no pain. Accepting homosexuality is the wide and easy way that leads to destruction. Resisting it is the narrow and sometimes the lonely way since so few takes this road. But this is the road which leads to life, the only path to the true joy and fulfillment we've sought through elusive fantasies. Hard to believe but I guess it's true. Self is enthroned. If it feels good, do it. If it seems right to me, it must be right. That is how we people usually tend to react on things. But Jesus set his face like flint against temptation and so must we.
How can such a decision be made? First, the struggling homosexual must be a seeker of the Truth. The motivation for such a major change is unlikely to come from human resources but only through the Holy Spirit. According to Psalm 145:18, the Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. No one finds his way out of a problem until he admits the problem exists. So as homosexual, we must admit to ourselves and to God that "Lord I have a problem."
Second, we need to close the option of accepting homosexuality or returning to it if things did not work out. Ambivalence is the barrier to change and if these options are held open change won't occur. Bridges must be burned and a crucial decision must be made. The Holy Spirit brings conviction of sin, and if the person receives this conviction deep into his heart he will have the only enduring motivation to close the options forever.
I have decided already that's why I am sharing this to you and now the decision is yours. Will you face the issue head on and take a realistic look at your life? What will the future hold for you as a gay person? Have you ever been repulsed by aging gays trying to pick up young men in a gay bar, streets, or malls? Have you wondered if this is going to be you at some point in the future? It will be unless you make some hard choices now. Do you want a life filled with guilt and separation from God?
What we may be unaware of at the time of decision is that God is "for us" and will come to your aid, helping you through the difficult situations. He is as near as you will allow Him to be. He is faithful to His promises always "near to those who call upon Him" (Psalm 145:18).
Again, this is not a decision to be made lightly for it will alter the entire balance of your life. Once made, it will be in your best interest to stand firm in your decision since wavering is the worst walk of all, bringing guilt, fear and confusion. My suggestion is repent first and decide to walk finally in light with Jesus Christ then gradually work on homosexuality issues coz definitely it will follow, just like what I am currently doing. It's really hard but once the Holy Spirit of God is working it will absolutely work. Well, I am speaking of my situation and what I am going through right now.
It takes boldness and bravery to leave behind the very thing that has always presented itself as the answer to the empty places in life. Yet the Holy Spirit makes brave men out of cowards. When God asks something of us and we respond in heartfelt obedience, He always supplies power to do it. So this decision must be made on your own and not to please someone else for it deserves time and effort. Seek God and pray before deciding. Don't be hasty; know the costs, weigh them. But know the blessings as well; peace with God and a new way of life.
Romans 6:13. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but offer yourselves to God.
Next topic is brokenness.