D R . E L R O I

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF A MAN LIVING WITH HIV

Monday, April 14, 2008

Homosexuality Part 5

The Need For A Savior

It is the title of the fifth chapter of Worthen's book entitled This Way Out and the next step in restoring the original sexuality of a homosexual.

Closely connected with brokenness is the acknowledgment of a need for a Savior. There must be an admission that we cannot change ourselves, that we have failed in living a holy life or righteous life and that Christ is the only person who can bring change to our lives.

Most human beings find it difficult, if not impossible, to admit they need help. Nobody wants to say, "I was wrong." Pride, an integral part of our nature, often blocks us from crying out, even when our need is great. Repentance and brokenness mean we have to face our need for a Savior. Without this vital step, change cannot take place. No one else can make this decision for us. It must come from our heart.

Changing who we think we are is really hard and we must take note that a change is a process, more often than not it's a very long one. When you have decided to leave homosexuality and accepted Christ as your Savior, you must not rely on your own strength. Jesus is the center of your life now and He's now in charge. This is the meaning of the first in the Ten Commandments, putting God first before everything. That is how we love God more than anything; the Lord wants us to be very dependent on Him. If we do this, the change we are longing for will take place on its own.

Look, it is a three way battle between God, Satan who represents Evil, and us. When evil is in control, we make dumb mistakes and our actions are not even in our best interests. When we join with God and depose Satan, we have two possibilities as to who will run our lives: God or ourselves. The wise individual will review his life and realize that his record as boss is not the greatest. For instance is myself, I was in total control of everything in my life for the past ten years and look what happened. I have lost almost everything. So I opted to let God take control and so far, so good. This laying down of weapons and submitting is not usually done gladly, but with great effort and in small segments.

The fool goes on to win his battle with God. This is a hollow triumph for there is no real victory when we win against God. Eventually, evil re-emerges and takes control from us. When we are dealing with super powers, there is no hope for us to win a lasting victory.

All of us need to remember that God has a perfect plan for our lives and if we thwart this plan, we come out second best. Again as homosexuals, we need to admit that we have this problem to Him and we have inability to manage it on our own. It's a minute by minute dependence on Jesus everyday for the rest of our lives. God's plan is that we seek Jesus in every decision, and in every avenue our life takes.

In 2 Corinthians 1:9, it is mentioned that we should not trust in ourselves. I know this is a hard lesson to learn coz ever since when we're young, we have been taught to trust in ourselves and be confident. But hey! We are God's creation and property. Don't you think it's just right that God will take control of every move and decision we make with our lives? Besides, we owe our lives to Him right? Though God has given us free will as a gift, it causes us the most trouble and is most frequently questioned. Why does God give us this ability? Why are we free to receive Christ or reject Him? Obviously, God wants a people that have accepted Him by choice, not by being forced into a decision. Now, if we've chosen God, how much will we allow Him to influence our lives? If we are wise, we'll let Him have free reign since He is our Maker and knows what is best for us. God will make us what we ought to be, and our lives will be greatly blessed for it.

Again, brokenness must be so complete, that we no longer have any penchant to regain control of our lives, but allow God and the Holy Spirit to lead. Victory is dependence on Jesus.

Next step is about doing the ordinary.

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