D R . E L R O I


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Homosexuality Part 9

Correcting Our Image Of Others

Now if you're convinced that God has an unconditional love for all of us and always ready to forgive all our wrong doings no matter how big or small it is, the next step is for us to hold a correct image of other people.

There must be an admission that our images of other people have been incorrect, warped and twisted by this world and we should put it in a correct perspective. As homosexuals, we must realize that we have selfishly used others for our own gratifications most especially with our own sexual needs. Back in my previous posts, I have tackled that homosexuality has been developed at a very early age and so as with the way we see other people around us. We had image of others distorted by both parental and peer influence and later on the gay lifestyle as well. The way our parents brought us or the way we have witnessed the family relationships has an influence on how we think about ourselves as well as others. For instance, if an emotionally or physically absent father had been in his rightful place, the mother's influence would have been counterbalanced and an unhealthy dependence on mother would not have developed. The parental or family influence on us would be altered much by the peer influence past puberty; for both good and bad, it is a normal part of growing up. Homosexual people usually have had little peer interaction during this stage and have missed much of the crossroads experience with the same sex and opposite sex peer group. Because of this, he will retain many of his parents attitudes and expectations though it wanes when he step out into the real world. When a gay person is already in college or working, this is the point when the gay lifestyle influenced him much of his behavior and the way he thinks and thinks about others.

Having said that, if you have decided to change and be normal expects that there is not going to be any overnight change. Change is a long process and is going to come slowly, I don't want to sound very religious on the postings I make but it's the truth; change will indeed take place through the power of the Holy Spirit or through Jesus Christ. I strongly believed that every person homosexuals or not, always call God when he has a problem or whenever he's down and helpless. So why don't we seek Him sincerely to make the change possible and doable?

To correct our image of other people, we need to forgive all those who have negative influences on our lives including the person who molested us or our emotionally absent fathers or people whom we thought made us gay. It is true that they did greatly affect our life but this does not release us from our responsibility. I know it's hard to forgive but it's possible with God. We can't change our emotions but surprisingly God can. I must admit I used to be emotionally hard on people who have grieved me but I realized that it's a better feeling when you're not carrying any heavy emotions in your heart, suffice to say it's kind of a rewarding.

God has said that He considers His people to be precious jewels and priceless treasures, and so must we. We must hold this view even when others are imperfect and do hurtful things to us. Others are not to be objects of our lust or simply a sex object that will gratifies our sexual need. Again, I know this is difficult but with the Lord it is doable and it will take time before we totally eradicate this kind of feelings to same sex or others.

The second commandment stated that "Love your neighbor as yourself." Neighbor here refers to people around us and we are told to love them as we love ourselves. We must see people through God's eyes that they are all our brothers and sisters in Christ. God loved us before we came to Him and He loves others in the same way. In the bible 1 Corinthians 13, we are told that love is not self-seeking and does not keep records of the wrongs of others and rejoices in truth.

A friend of mine's comment on my postings here is that, it was preachy. As much as I don't want to read or sound like one, it's hard coz I am just speaking or writing about my own experience and what I have learned from Worthen's book. I must confess it's difficult and I am still in the process of the change, that's why I always read the important points of this book and pray very hard. I always pray to God that He change my views on men especially to those who are physically gifted coz I don't want to fall again for it feels very horrendous after.

Remember that Jesus Christ said that, "What you did to others you also did it to me." This thought is sometimes enough for me to keep myself from falling into sexually attractive men.

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